people are so tactless!!!

Yesterday when i was getting rready for work i went through my usual ritual of websites, this one, myspace, msn and facebook. on the facebook i noticed that some of my friends had commented on an old school "aquaintance's" photo. these were of her sisters DEAD baby i know both her and her sister and had heard of what happened cos ppl stop and tell me ALL the time. stillborn! why the fuck would you put pics on facebook? i would think it was a very private thing. anyway later on at work at bloke asked me how id got on at my scan and i said healthy boy. he then went on to tell me how his step daughter had been fine at her scan only to lose the baby at 7 months he then went on to do actions of labour, describing what the baby looked like etc. THEEEEEEEEEEN another woman was tellingme how her niece had been born healthy but picked up a bug contracted by the mother in the hospitaland died 6 hours after birth, again describing coffin etc. then i read the thread on here about corro (which i actually appreciated cos i wont watch it so thanks) but then eveyone was talking about that! it was all too much in one day. cam home laid on my bed and cried until i felt my boy kick!!! thing is im not usually so sensitive and my old self would of just said FUCK OFF tactless wankers but i cant. plus a woman said oooh u dont even look pregnant you just look fatter i see your carrying it all in your arse. whaaaaaaaaaaat a day. the OH and i have aday off today were gonna do some decorating and do abit of shopping and be nice to each other. xxxxxxxxxxxxx


  • i just reread my post and realised ive been quite contradictory by telling you lot all the things that had upset me. im so sorry to offload and sorry if anyone is upset. xx
  • Hi hun, so sorry you have been upset by some peoples comments etc but I just wanted to say, we had a cot death in the family last year, baby was only 2 days old and they have pics of her on facebook as we still think of her as one of the family and will never forget her. I think until you go through something that numbingly painful its hard to judge.

    Katie and bambino.x x x
  • but with facebook you have no choice but to look at peoles pics when someone has commented on them cos even if the person who's pics are on arent in your friends if ppl who are in your friends comment them then they appear on your page. i think its unfair that i am FORCED to see it. i really feel for anyone in that situation and cant think of anything worse hence why it upsets me so much. at least with myspace you only look at pics when you want to.
  • I am sorry you had a hard day hun. It must have been hard to see. But I agree with Katie that having pictures & acknowledging that child was part of their family can be very healing for some people. I don't know how facebook works though, maybe they could have put them as private pictures...because it has obviously been very upsetting for you and I would be upset too...but you just have to turn a blind eye, and remember it is very rare...

    There was an article in the paper yesterday about stillbirth probably prompted by the corrie storyline. I read it even though I knew I wouldn't like it. And guess what it got me into a right panic.

    I think that woman was v. insensitive though. It seems like when you're pregnant all people can do is give you horror stories! xxx

  • When I first read this I also felt that the photos on facebook was a strange thing to do, it seems too private to do. I feel similar about people taking photos at funerals, sometimes memories alone are enough.
    However reading what those of you who have some experience of stillborn or early deaths have to say I can now understand why you would be proud to put the pictures on. It might be difficult for some of us to see as we are upset by it but it is more important for the families involved to be able to remember their lost babies in the way that is best for them. Also we are only upset because it is such a tragic thing for people to go through and we would rather not have to think about it, or the fact that its a reality and so we should support them in their way of grieving no matter how different it may be to the way that we might grieve ourselves.
  • Its a very hard subject to discuss while pregnant but its also on the tv and on the news etc, unfortunately it is part of life. My friend miscarried just as I found out I was pregnant, so I felt I shouldn't talk about baby around her even tho she kept talking about losing her baby. I knew it was her way of coping with everything and wasn't offended. We are all sooo very very special to be growing our little ones and also very emotional. People don't think before they speak (I'm the worst for it!!).

    Katie and bambino.x x x
    35 weeks today!!
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