second time round and more scared then the 1st time

Hi, i had my beutiful little girl last may, she is adorable and i love her to bits. Unfortuneatly i had the worst experience ever with her labour and birth. Labour was long (6days n 10hrs) hospital kept sending me home coz i wasn't dilating and did nothing to help. They made further mistakes along the way and eventualy gave me an emergency c-section. My baby was seriously ill as a result of me not being treated properly. She nearly died 3 times, had her right lung punctured twice and had ecmo treatment half way across the country. The result ended in her having severe brain damage and cerebral palsey. She is nearly 1yrs old and still cannot do much apart from kick her legs when on her back. She has 7 theropists, 2 consultants and has a standing frame. Life is demanding. I found out wednesday that im pregnant again, much to our suprise. Im too scared to go to the doctors, scared about everything and have no idea where i should have this next baby. Having a disabled child has alienated me from friends so dont have anyone to turn to. Anybody got any advice? Im a mum, pregnant and scared.xxx

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  • Hi hun, I can't imagine how difficult things must be for you with your lo but I can identify a bit with how scared you are. My lo is nearly 20 months and I had a bad experience with her birth, nothing close to what you went through, but increadibly frightning and painful, which ended with Millie being taken to SCBU for observation (she was fine) I am now expecting my second and was very concerned about the idea of giving birth at the same hospital. I've made the descision to have this one at the local midwife led birth centre as I belive I will get more one to one care, it is conected to a hospital so I can be transfered quickly if needs be. It's tottaly natural to be scared when you have had such a bad experience first time round but maybe if you look into other options for the birth you would feel slightly more positive. Don't really know what else to say but try and concentrate on the fact that terrible experiences like yours are fortunately very rare and the chances are that this time round everything would go smoothly.
    Take care
    Kerry xx
  • thank you for your reply, good luck with baby.Please stay in touch.xxx
  • thank you bedhead! whats a local midwife led birth centre? are they good? Im going to into it. Your right, my experience was extreme but thankfully very rare too. xxx
  • thank you bedhead! whats a local midwife led birth centre? are they good? Im going to into it. Your right, my experience was extreme but thankfully very rare too. xxx

    They are run by midwifes, no doctors which means you can't have an epidural. They usually have birthing pools and the risk of needing a section is usually alot lower if you have your baby in a birth centre because its alot more relaxed.

    Your little girl is gorgeous by the way :\) xxx
  • It's basically a small unit where the care is provided exclusively by midwifes (although I think they have a doctor available is needed) They tend to have more emphasis on natural birth and tend to be less understaffed! They will only let you go there if you a low risk birth so I am not sure if you would be eligable because you had a c-section last time round. If for any reason I turn out not to be suitable my second choice is my small, local hospital. Last time I went to the main teaching hospital in the area and they were just so stretched.
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