Apologies for depressing post...anyone had more than one MC?

Hi
We found out yesterday at my dating scan that we have had a second MMC. I had a question after a comment the consultant said and wondered what the real likelihood is of it happening again?
He advised us to have a break of at least 3 months as he felt there was a link to getting pregnant again soon after a MMC. We lost our last baby in Oct but didn't get pregnant again until Jan 09 so we did have a break between.
I have read there is no link, and at the most 1 cycle is adequate, but not essential. I was also told we were no more likely to have a second MMC. I just wondered what other peoples experiences were?
How many people went on to have a normal pregnancy? I feel it is all very well having statistics but if it is you going through it they become irrelevant. I feel I have a 50/50 chance of it happening again, as it either will or won't. It's still early days but I found the last pregnancy so stressful that I am very scared of getting pregnant again. But we so want our own family.
Sorry for rambling, I am still in shock and am struggling to accept I am having to go through this again.

Thanks for your experiences, and sorry if I have offended anyone.
Lilou x

Posts

  • hey hun, can i just say how sorry i am for your loss! I had a nightmare 12 months or so, i got pregnant nov 07, (i have 3 healthy lo's), everything was going well, had no reason to suspect that anything was wrong, had all the symptoms etc. turn up for my dating scan in january to be told lo hadn't made it past 7.5 weeks. had a medical management 3 days later. i had one af, then got a bfp again i'd asked at the hosp was this going to be more likely to end in another mmc, i was told no. again all was going well, paid for a private early scan @ 7.5 weeks to ease my concerns, saw a lovely flicking heartbeat, everything seemed to be going well, thought i had no cause for concern. at 11 weeks i started to bleed slightly, went to epac and they refused to scan or help me, so again i had to pay for another private scan. the scan revealed that my lo had passed about 3 days after my reassurance scan, was booked in for another medical management but passed everything the day before i was supposed to have it done. i felt the same as you hunni, very stressed at the prospect of ttc again, but my desire to have another lo overcame all that and i am now 33+2, having got my bfp in july. my only advice to you hunni, is take things at your own pace, try not to stress too much (a lot easier said than done hunni, that i know well!!!!) and something that did help me with the grieving process, when the lo's due dates came around (i was pregnant for both) me and hubs lit a candle and just reflected on our lo's, yes it was emotional, but it made me feel like i could move forward and actually start to enjoy this pregnancy, as i did for a while feel guilty that i was trying to replace the lo's that i'd lost!! i know this wasn't the case, but the guilt still got to me. i hope all works out for you hun, and do what feels right for you and ur oh!!! keep us posted with how your doing!!!! sending u millions of ((((HUGS)))) at this difficult time xxxxxxx
  • Hi Lilou,

    I have had 2 mc's and am now 10+5. Plus Mrs_e who I talk to lots had 2 and it now about 23 weeks pg.
    Woomummy and Saint Bernie both had 3 and went on to have healthy pg's after that.

    Hope you ladies don't mind me name dropping - but your stories have given me lots of hope so I just wanted to pass on my knowledge.

    I really feel for you hun, it's awful you are going through this again. Especially after everything looking so good last week. But I truly believe that you will have your baby one day.

    Big hugs
  • I was going to name the exact same people BabyB did... also adding filobabe who had 3 MCs before having a successful pregnancy - her little boy was born in Nov I think.

    I am so so sorry for your loss Lilou. I had a MC in June at 6 weeks and it was heartbreaking. We got pregnant after 2 more months and I am now 30+5 weeks. Can I ask what gestation you were at for both MCs?

    Don't give up hope - so many of us on here have had the same thing happen and gone on to have successful pregnancies. I know doctors won't try to find 'reasons' for them until after 3, but its worth discussing this with your doctor / consultant.

    Thinking of you loads xxxxxxxx
  • hi hun, so sorry for your loss again! i had a mmc in april, i was unsure of my dates so what i thought would have been the 12 wk scan i was told the baby stopped growing at 6 and a half weeks. we left it another wk and had another scan and was told there had been slight change but i should still expect to mc. we changed hospitals in between all of this but in the end i had a natural mc about 4 wks after the initial scan as i didnt want to have a dc. we decided to try again more or less straight away, i had what i thought at the time was a light af but i think a wk later i tested and was positive so that could have been implantation. i then started bleeding at about 6 or 7 wks. so thats 1 mmc and 1 mc. we were told that generally leaving it so you have at least 1 af is ok, but i did read in a book that a couple after having a mmc left it 3 cycles and had a successfull pregnancy. so we decided to do that. my cycles are about 45 days inbetween so this meant longer than 'normal' so after about 3 months (2 cycles) we started trying again but wasnt successful the first month, but the following month we were, so we did infact leave it 3 cycles. i didnt want an early scan as i just wanted things to be kept as normal as possible, but this time i had a lot more symptoms (although not all symptoms - but i was sick quite early on). we had a scan at about 12 wks (wasnt a dating scan) and there was the baby with a heartbeat! we then had the dating scan 3 wks later and was told i was 16+3wks. that was a wk ago. i still feel a little anxious and im looking forward to the 20 wk scan and feeling the baby move so i can be reasured daily.
    i wish you all the luck in the world in trying and succeeding again. personally even thought 3 months (cycles) can seem like so long it could be worth the waiting just to give your body a rest so hopefully you wont have to go through a mc/mmc again. i also saw a programme where a woman had several mc's - she saw a nutrition person who tested to see what her body lacked and she found that her body was really low in the particular minerals or something that are needed to sustain a pregnancy. she changed her diet to incorporate these and went on to have a healthy pregnancy.
    hope things go better in the future for you and your partner! xx
  • Hi,
    My first MMC was picked up at just over 10wks and think it stopped developing between 7&8 weeks. This one I had a perfecty normal livley bean at 8+4 and then lost it between then and 10+1. We have gone private with this MMC as we found the NHS system quite traumatic last time. My ERPC is booked for Friday. I am hoping as we are private we may get more help this time. The consultant said they would analyse the retained products.. or my baby as I think of it!
    Thanks for your replies. I don't know where & when I will gather the strength to TTC again. When i was still pregnant I had been asking myself the question if it happened again would I try to get pregnant again as I have found this pregnancy so stressful and torture waiting to get to the 12wk mark, we were so nealry there!
    It is so depressing.
    Lilou x
  • I guess i've been fortunate in i only had the 1 MC and i didn't even know i was PG again, turns out i was 7wks that was Jan 06. Fell again in Jan 07 and had a successful PG. So take it slowly let yourself grieve, and recover then try again--time that's all i can say. but huge great big huggles for you hun xxx


    Claire
    31+3
  • Hey hunny - firstly i just want to say im so sorry to hear of your loss and hope your ok hun..

    This is my story i guess - i had 2 healthy pgs in 2003 and 2005 which gave me my little boys - in the beginning of 2007 we started ttc for no 3 - i got my first bfp in nov 07 and mc at 5wks - i had no af and got another bfp dec 07 and mc a few days b4 xmas....oh went away in jan so we started ttc in feb when he got back and had another bfp in may 08 - again i mc at 5weeks - we where then referred to the mc specalist on 31st july (my 26th bday) - me and oh had bloods done to check for genetic mutation which all came back clear and they booked me for scans once my af arrived - i was going out due to my bday 2 days later and af was due the following weds so tested just in case and got another bfp - i rang the clinic 1st thing monday morning and they started me on weekly preganyl injections which i did myself at home...had a scan at 6wks which showed a hb - carried on with the jabs til 12weeks and everything was fine - im now 37days from delivery with no 3. I just want you to know that you shouldnt give up hope, it will happen hunny - id def ask your doctor about pregnayl - il never know if thats what helped me this time, but im pretty sure it had something to do with it xxxxx
  • Im really sorry to hear your sad news. I know from experience its truly heartbreaking to go through a mc but wanted to reassure you that there is hope.I have 2 children (12 + 9, from a previous relationship) and my husband and I naturally wanted to have a baby together. Not long after ttc we had a mc in jan 08. Absolutely gutted was how I felt. The Drs and hospital, I found, were very unsympathetic and very dismissive. Their attitude was how it was just 'one of those things'. We weren't told to wait at all before ttc again and so did, however we suffered another mc in april 08. One of the things I found so difficult was waiting for the hcg levels to drop and ringing the epau with the results of positive hpts, somewhere in my mind hoping they had made a mistake and I was still pg but sadly not. Also a family member gave birth the day after our 1st would have been due. During last summer I missed a few periods and was so excited but the tests kept saying negative?? Dr told me they had prob stopped due to the stress of ttc after 2 mcs. One eve in oct 08 I just knew I had to test and it was pos! Couldn't believe it! Im now 21 wks and have had bleeding this time too over the first 12 wks. Please hang in there and never give up hope! xxxx
  • First of all Im sorry to hear of your loss. I had two mcs last year, one at 6 weeks and another at 5+4. We waited a month and then tried again and on the second month got a BFP. Im now 17+3 and things are going fine.

    I think its still quite common to have two in a row, I felt like it was never going to happen for us after the second one but it did and there are lots of other people on here that have had two also xx
  • So so sorry to hear of what you have had to go through. I had a blighted ovum so not the same as you but understand the feelings you are going through.

    I was 7 weeks when i bled and 9 weeks when i fully miscarried. I remember the terrible hurt and shock so really feel for you. This was in July last year, had my first period on 15th August and BFP on 9th September, we allowed one period so as to allow for dating and emotional healing.

    I am now 27+1 and (touch wood) all seems to be going well. I can`t relax with this one though and wont until hes here (and probs never will again)

    Thinking of you and keep your chin up. Sometimes it seems like there will never be light at the end of the tunnel but there always is

    Katy xx
  • Hi Lilou

    Firstly - very sorry to hear about the heatbreak you are going through, it really is a sad time......but try to hang on in there....

    I just wanted to add my situation in the hope that, as with the other replies, you can keep positive. I mc my first pg at 15 weeks, then had two succesful pgs, and had two boys. I mc twins in nov 07 at 12 weeks, then fell pg again in Feb 08, and mc again at 6 weeks, and then really did give myself a break for 3 months and started a very healthy eating routine (Zita West wrote an amazing book about pre-conception and diet), and fell pg again in May 08, and i am now sat in my living room with my week old son, who is just amazing!

    So i send you all the luck in the world for a healthy pg in the near future, and i'm sure you will get a vialble BFP very soon.,
    Take care
    xxx
  • Thanks for all your lovley replies. I have been feeling thoroughly miserable today. I have had my pre op bloods taken and just want to get the ERPC done. I seem to be in denial and think they have got it wrong. But 2 separate scans can't be wrong. Hope that once I have had the op my pregnancy symptoms will go and I can start to accept I am no longer pregnant.
    Thanks again,
    Lilou x
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