Police and Solicitors (ex) father intouch

Afternoon Ladies,
Update from Ex Father back intouch.
Last night once he had got himself tanked up, the text's and phone calls started. He started off been fairly polite, because I did not reply he then got very abusive calling me all the names under the sun, saying how he was going to snatch the baby from the hospital smash my house up smash myself and my car up, how I would have an accident in my car, all where far from plesent.

Well as the title says, that is what I have been doing all morning. I had to go to the police and get a crime runmber then go to my solicitors so that they can go to court with it along with my contract phone bills and access agreement (so they can get copies off all his text messages over the past 6 months) to get an injuction against him. They are going trying to get it in place that he has no contact with me or with the baby at all. It will stand for all public and private area's. The police are also going to visit his mother who I must say has been very kind throughout everything, asking her to not to contact myself either.

The police have confirmed that the hospital I am going to does have extermly good security on the mart wards and that he can be arrested if he tries to go anywhere near me or the baby while I am in hospital.
The courts could enforce that he goes to angermangment and aa which could result in him been allowed to see the baby! f..........

All I would like to do is be sick and hide under my bed sheets.

I can not thank each and everyone of you enough for been a shoulder for me to lean on over the past 36 hours.
x x :x

Posts

  • thanks Zoe.
    Its a shame that my little boy will grow up without a father at all but its for his safety as well.
  • Oh dottie what a complete arse!

    At least you are going through all the right paths to get it dealt with rather than trying to deal with it on your own.

    Do you live by yourself at the mo or do you have family to stay with? I know it's probably a stupid thing to say but try your hardest not to get too stressed for the sake of the baby and your sanity. There are some really nasty people in this world and it's unfortunate that your ex is one of them.

    Cxxx
  • I am staying at my sister's tonight just incase.
    I could understand if he was a jerk with no life, but he has a very good job and highly thought off. He's an architect! just goes to show jerks come in all jobs!
    thanks for been there.
  • Thats ok hun,

    People can be a jerk regardless of where they come from and what they do, there tends to be an underlying factor (usually alcohol), my dh did drugs in his younger years and that brings out a paranoid side in him sometimes. There is always a reason for their actions but there is never an excuse. What he is doing is completely wrong and tbh he doesn't deserve to be a part of your child's life. If it was my dad that had done that to my mum I would resent him (if not hate him) for the rest of my life, he is clearly unprodictable and should not be left alone with a child.

    Stay focused on what is important to you he shouldn't be allowed to ruin what is supposed to be the best time in your life

    If you have any questions about injunctions etc let me know image

    C
    xx
  • Hi dottie_pottie

    I've not replied to any of your other posts but I just wanted to say that I think you sound like you are handling this all incrediably well. What a horrible situation to be in when you're dealing with pregnancy and all the worries and issues that brings. Your strength and your determination to deal with this for the sake of your lo is inspirational and you should feel really good about your self in very diffcult circumstances (sorry if this sounds patronising in any way - don't mean it like that - lol!)
    xxx
  • You have done fantastic babe! The strength in you is to be admired by all.
    I wish I had had your courage 15 yrs ago!
    You have done the best for your child - as a warning I have lost my teenager who now lives with his dad because he grew up seeing that it was ok to treat me like a piece of s**t and as soon as he became a teenager he turned into a bully like his dad to both myself and my young son. His dad (in his favour) has done the right thing now but it took him 13 yrs!!!! My son and I also have a fantasic relationship now but to be honest I would have gone down your route had I had the strength.
    Well done babe, Love Lee xxxxx
  • You have done fantastic babe! The strength in you is to be admired by all.
    I wish I had had your courage 15 yrs ago!
    You have done the best for your child - as a warning I have lost my teenager who now lives with his dad because he grew up seeing that it was ok to treat me like a piece of s**t and as soon as he became a teenager he turned into a bully like his dad to both myself and my young son. His dad (in his favour) has done the right thing now but it took him 13 yrs!!!! My son and I also have a fantasic relationship now but to be honest I would have gone down your route had I had the strength.
    Well done babe, Love Lee xxxxx
  • becare what information you post on the internet about yourself sweetheart i'e about where you are going too just encase desprate angry people can be very resorceful... I'm very pleased you have taken such a proactice responce to taking care of your self! I can only imagine how frightening this whole experiance is for you!

    you are so very brave even tho you feel scared take care and let us know how your getting on! xxx
  • Ive just had another text off him, saying that he wants to come round and talk! he will be getting a visit from the police later today, well they said they would visit him today.

    I've had to do what I've had to do for the sake of my LO, I dont want him growing up thinking it is alright to treat people this way. I feel sad that Harry isnt going to know him and do the fun things Dad's do with their little boys.

    I feel empty as if everything has been taken away. I dont feel strong or anything like that.
  • Don't reply to his texts now love cause if it goes to court it will been seen as encouraging him ... awful I know but they twist things! I know you feel like your loosing everything and its not the best start but what a rich lesson this will be for your little one that they are valuable and deserve to be treated with love and respect and so does there mother even when the choice is really very hard to make! just get thru each day at a time hun! and draw on the support around you! xx
  • Hey dottie,

    Try and keep your chin up, you are doing everything right. Once lo has arrived you can put all attention on him rather than on your crazy ex. one day (when you are ready) you will find a decent man who will treat you and lo with the love and respect you so rightly deserve, but don't let what your ex has done make you block everyone else out as that is what I did and it didn't help.

    Maybe once he has had a visit from the police he will realise how serious you are and back down.

    C
    xx
  • Hey Dottie,

    I was just reading one of your posts in another thread and thought you would like to know that I'm an AI and used to break and school Arabs image

    We seem to have a lot in common Dodgy men and horses lol

    C
    xx
  • thanks girls, I just wish he would bog off!
    I think what has really got to him is the fact that I have not replied to any of his messages even the ones last night.
  • DO NOT RESPOND! Leave it to the police now babe. There is hope for a good future for your little one, after all the crap I went through I met a decent man 4 yrs ago and we are now married. He has taken my youngest on as his own (my boy argues with everyone that he has 2 dads) and he is really good friends with my teenager. If it can happen for me then it can happen for anyone!!!!
    Your little one will not miss out on any love - in fact he will probably get more from you than if you concentrating on his dad and what hes going to do next!
    Believe me you are stronger than you realise!
    We are all here for you babe, Love Lee
  • Saint Bertie, quick update. His mum has been known to play both sides of the card. I have tried to keep intouch with her and keep her informed of what is going on and when such as hospital apt. She has been informing him and after not hearing anything from him since early december he got intouch on monday night. I do feel for his mum, but the police and solicitors at this moment in time feel it would be better that she didnt have any contact as she could take photo's of my baby and pass them onto him, give him dates for when I am in hospital etc. It's more for safety than anything else. Well thats how they put it to me.
  • hi girls
    he is still texting, I now feel sorry for him but I am not backing down. Ive rung the police and told them. They said they will be visiting him this evening - I told them which pub to go to! they told me not to be like that!!!! Ive told them who he works for etc. I get the feeling they are going to drag their feet on this!
  • Thats really bad, they shouldn't drag this out when it is obvious he is a little dangerous, Police can be such bastards and more often than not think women are over reacting. Really dig your heels in with them hun and don't take any shit

    C
    xx
  • Listen, where domestic violence is concerned the law has changed although so coppers still have the same old attitude! I would remind them that you have informed them and if they are not willing to take the appropriate action and something happens to you they are responcible as you informed them of the risk! remind them 2 women die every week due to DV and that you are at risk and being harrassed!

    In regards to his mother as lovely as she maybe she is always going to have a preferance for her son first and formost!

    remember I said to you yesterday there must be some stuff you like about him... feeling sorry for him is part of the cycle of how he gets you to allow him to carry on the behaviour... I'm sure you must of forgiven him before after feeling sorry for him but remember that this period of being sorry is only a honey moon time and its designed to draw you back in so he can have more control! xxx
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