Nightmare Relatives!

JENNY1 · Oct 30, 2016 9:53PM

Hi, my names Jenny. I'm new to the site (and new to forums -so please forgive me in advance for any mistakes I make). My first baby is due in 20 days and I'm very lucky in the fact that I've had a nice pregnancy and have felt great most of the time - but as the time draws closer I'm getting more and more worried that this baby will not be my own as my Mother in law wants to take over. I know she means well, but noone knows how they will cope as a first time Mum and all I would like is some time alone with my baby so we can get to know each other. She's turning all bunny bolier on me and has booked 5 weeks off work from when I've given birth! Help!! Any suggestions???

sara7-33131 · Jun 6, 2006 11:20AM

Hi Jenny,

You need to just talk to her - Tell her your feers... I take it you have told your husband how you feel? Maybe he could talk to her on your behalf? She could come in handy with cooking, washing etc so that you can spend precious time with your new born? Maybe look at this as a positive and not a negative? I hope it works out for you.. Good luck for 20 days...

angswift · Jun 12, 2006 3:30PM

hi, i had the problem where people were coming late at night and my mother in law was comin just before bedtime and wanting to hold and play with him, she took no notice of my partner saying that he was her grandson etc etc, she and other people took the hint when we stuck a big bold sign on the door saying "NO VISITORS PLEASE, RESTING" It actually worked! i also got my mum in on it coming in when we had people round saying well i'll not stay i know you need your rest etc...im not ballsy so i needed help, now though i ask people to leave when im sick, ha ha

JENNY1 · Jun 14, 2006 12:36PM

Thanks for the advice. My Mom lives very close to me and I may call her in to do the "if your names not down on the list you ain't coming in" when I get home. This will be both families respective first grandchild and in one respect I feel really mean thinking bad things about his Mum - but she's just the type who knows everything about everything - I've waited so long to have this baby and I don't want the experience to be tainted by her taking over. She wants a set of keys to my house now - I just hope it doesn't cause probs with me and him indoors!!

And in theory talking to my other half about it sensibly would be ideal - but how can you say nicely "your mother is annoying - oh and by the way we've got boiled rabbit for tea"

devilsice2 · Jun 14, 2006 12:42PM

Blimey she is taking over! wanting a set of keys! I think your other half will have to stand up to her otherwise she's going to take over if she does come round you'll just have to tell her straight that your baby needs rest and so do you. Short of pretrnding you are not in I don't know how you can stop her maybe ask if both sides could ring first before coming over then she won't feel that your mum is having an unfair advantage.
Good Luck and I hope you enjoy the time together as a family.

JENNY1 · Jun 15, 2006 3:16AM

Thanks, thats great advice. I guess if everyones getting the same treatment then no-one can moan.

madsbellsngeorge · Jun 26, 2006 11:47AM

All I can say is everyone is around you at the beginning but they soon get bored. When my daughter was born everyone was around trying to do things and want to look after her. Now it seems like everyone has lost interest because I cant remember the last time any grandparent offered to babysit now she is 15 months. I am also 18 weeks with our second so i bet they come flocking back now. Make the most of it you will even look forward to maybe an hours sleep while someone else takes charge

Rebecca2 · Jul 11, 2006 11:47AM

hi jenny hmmm hard one, i was spoilt when my two was babies because i rarely saw any family or my husband for that matter! and i only had to please myself and my children which was great...my children are teenagers now and i remarried too and pregnant with our first child after 2 m/c i now have all my family round me and my husdands too and my husband was an only child...there is a part of me that is totally dreading the thought of having everyone keep coming round and me feeling i have to bite my tongue but i also know that they are trying to help and its their grandchild and they are all really happy for me and my hubby! i would like to think that they know when to back off etc and if they dont i will have to say nicely but firmly thank you but...... and making sure you have your hubbys backing for his family too! good luck.xx ps, dont give anyone any keys!!!! lol

jessstradling · Oct 30, 2016 9:53PM

mine are also a pain, fortunately i cannot talk the same language as them! interesting to know im not in the same boat though x

Nightmare Relatives!

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