upset,sick off people critazing me

hi,all. feel so upset, i could cry,i know im overreacting must be my hormoans, today i went to a family friends house with my mum, and this girl there asked me to hold her 8 week old baby,i did but was a little on edge has her 3 year old kept trying to pull and prode the little baby. i felt on edge and the baby mother wasent even hardly telling her 3 year off!

everyone kept saying god you look so scared,you cant be like this with your own and laughing at me!! i felt so so stupid! i know it will be diffrent with my own coz when my sister had a baby i did everything for hers and wasent scared off holding,bathing etc but i hardly no the women, and felt nervous.

feel so stupid for even feeling upset about such a little thing but everyone was really goin on at me, and then the baby stated crying on me and they was all saying ow look she dosent lke you,probley can sense that you cant handle babys very well! my mum turned around and said "yea well when hayley baby born,i will be down all the time showing her what to do!

im so worried now incase im hopeless! was in such a good mood yesterday from doing my baby nursery out aswell! sorry for goin on,just need to get it off my chest xxxxx


  • I can sort of idenfity with you on that one. Ever since I got pregnant I have been nervous around other people's babies. Almost like if people see me doing something wrong they will think I'll be a bad mum. Now I avoid babies where as before I would have been first to have a cuddle! I only have a couple of weeks before I will be cuddling my own baby and hopefully all these fears will go.

    I think it's natural for us first timers to worry- just shows how much we care for our LO's already and that we will make good mummies!

    Hope you feel better soon xxx
  • aw honey! ignore them!

    I love babies and work with them loads but since being pregnant they suddenly freak me out a bit! I'm verye xcited about being pregnant and my own but sometimes it seems all so real when i'm around babies!

    anyway sorry fro rambling there what i meant to say was of course you'll be fine with your own baby, you'll probably even look at other people holding him/her and think 'thats not the right way!'

    don't let other people tease you, you'll be fab!
    and well done on the nursery!!!
  • Aww chick you'll be fine once it is your baby you are holding. I am still nervous with other peoples babies, it's tottaly different when it's your own. If you do something a bit awkwardly when you are holding your own baby it doesn't matter a bit because the baby doesn't care. I am always worried when it is someone elses baby that they are thinking I am going to break it!!
  • ignore them!! you'll be fine, it's always different when it some body elses, when my niece was born I already had one, but still thought I was going to drop her, although she was nearly 5lb heavier than DD! before i got pg this time I was quite happy to hold a friends little one, but feel funny doing it now, god knows why, I haven't dropped one yet. All babies like being held different ways and chances are you'll get it wrong first time! take pleasure in know when your's is born you can tell friends and family LO doesn't like being held this way or that, even if it's just to wind the up LOL!!
  • dont worry hun, its hard but just ignore them. youl be fab with your own, like you said youv been fine with other babies. i think we get a bit nervous cos you worry that everyone will be judgin you. they honestly wont and youl be a great mum. xxx
  • thank you everyone, you have cheered me up, yeh im sure ill be fine,just everyones views annoying me, im going to bring my baby up the way i want! (people telling me not to breast feed) i know deep down i will be a good mum and thats all that matters! just a little emotional today, thanks guys love hayley xxxxx xxxx
  • blimey!! whoes telling you NOT to breastfeed? That's a decision on only you can make! you do things your way, you will know what is best for your baby, trust your insticts!
  • Hayley just blooming well ignore them!
    People tend to be so vocal when it comes to pregnancy & it is really starting to grate on me- it's your pregnancy no one else knows how you are feeling only yourself & this baby is your baby so don't let anyone tell you off or instruct you as to what you should be doing when it comes along.
    I had someone telling me the other day that i'll be fine when my 'Mothering instinct' kicks in & I cracked up with him!
    I used to be a real party girl out every weekend, always buying new clothes spending all my money on myself, smoking, going where I wanted when I wanted etc. but as soon as I found out I was pregnant it wasn't about me any more it was about my LO & now with under 5 weeks to go i have bought everything I can possibly buy, read all there is to read & cannot wait to hold this baby in my arms so if that isn't a mothering instinct then what is!

    Sorry went off on a tangent there lol basically I know how you feel & it's awful that others are making you feel like this. It's only really at this stage in my pregnancy i've realised I can voice my opinion back just as easily so make sure you stick up for yourself in the future & trust your own instincts!

    Lauren (35+1) xxx
  • Awe Hayley
    How awful, that's an awful thing to do and say, people don't realise how things come across sometimes, don't you worry you will be absolutely fine, you will know and understand your LO more than anyone and you do whatever you want your way and don't let anyone tell you differently. Others will always have advice for you, listen to them and take what you choose and ignor what you want to.

    Em x
  • You'd be surprised how many people tell me not to breastfeed as well - I find it so annoying! Makes you feel like you're making the wrong choice! I really want to breastfeed for 6 months if I can but loads of people telling me how 'wrong' it is and how you dont know what ur baby's getting...I feel destined to fail!

    I feel exactly the same about the babies too, my oh has a little cousin who is about 12 weeks now and we'd go round to see him. He is lovely and everything but he always whinges when I hold him & sicks up when I give him his bottle & I can't help feeling I have no idea about anything and am going to be a shit mum!

    It doesn't help that my oh's mum is a childminder so he has already spent loads of time with babies and is brilliant with them, while I haven't got a clue...I feel like my baby will prefer him to me...I know that sounds sooo ridiculous. It seems unfair as my oh wanted me to get an abortion as well.

    Arrrghhh really need to sort this out!

    Sorry, this has turned into my own rant. I think you'll be fantastic - just trying to say your not alone hun! xxxxx
  • it was some family members saying not to breast feed because you dont no what your baby getting and how its more tiring etc but i AM going to breastfeed, well at least give it a go and take it from there. thanks for all your advice.

    i spoke to my oh last night and he reasured me. we might not be perfect parents but we can only do our best. i will listnen to other people advice but gonna do what i feel right.

    thanks again xxxx
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