upset - shall I ignore it or sever contact with her???

I called my auntie yesterday (she is my dad's only sister) and excitedly told her that I was pregnant.

she first reaction was just to burst out laughing then said ''oh well, whats done is done, however it isnt permanent and there are ways of sorting it''.

I thought that I had misheard and asked her to repeat it. Yep, I heard right. she had suggested an abortion!

I was really thrown and didnt know what to say. She then asked how I felt and said ''im really happy, the baby was planned''. she then asked how my husband felt. i said that he felt the same as we had planned it.

she sort of scoffed and then went ''oh well, thats its then. its done''

There were no 'congratulations', no 'im pleased for you', nothing.

why was she being such an effing b***h (Im so sorry for swearing, its unlike me, but she really made me angry and upset)

If I had rung her saying ''what do I do, Im pregnant, it wasnt planned, im too young, we cant afford it etc....'' then MAYBE she can make a suggestion; however I didnt and I was just sharing my news.

I am 28, married, have my own flat, have been with my husband for 9 1/2 years (married for 3 months) we both work and have a 6 year old daughter so Im perfectly within my right to do what I like - although I shouldnt have to justify myself.

My mum told me to ignore it as whenever she told her that she was pregnant (I have 1 brother and 3 sisters), she got a negative reaction too. I cant ingore it though, it was uncalled for.

my dad hates his sister and I can see why now.

my husband was livid.

would you disown her if that was your auntie??? thats what I want to do now.

Posts

  • hey,

    firstly congratulations on your news. thats great.

    secondly how uncalled for. that is just absolutely ridiculous. who the hell made her god and said she could dictate to people how to live their loves. sorry thats just made me so angry. i'm sorry you've had to have that sort of treatment, but i would say try not to take it personally. as you say she was like it with your mum too. and your dad obviously has really good reasons for not liking her.

    i personally would never speak to her again. i wouldnt want my child having anything to do with someone [spiteful like that. but its your choice hun. if your not particularly close then maybe it is time to go your separate way from her. just ignore her coz she aint worth it. you have the most fantastic little miracle growing inside of you so make the most and enjoy everyday with the support of your family members who genuinley love and care for both you and your baby.

    hope you sort it hun
    good luck with the rest of pregnancy

    kate 39+6
    xxxx
  • What an appalling reaction! She clearly didn't think before she opened her mouth. Does she have any children of her own?

    I personally would never bother getting in touch with the woman again, but then I am super-hormonal and bolshy at the moment, so don't pay any attention to me!!!:lol:

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  • thank you for your responses.

    Thankfully, I don't see my auntie that often as I live in the UK and she lives in southern Ireland. she doesn't have any children of her own, and that probably is a blessing as she isnt a very 'people person' or very affectionate.

    Im very pleased with my news and im going to continue feeling that way.

    she was out of order and I will not be making an effort to contact her. I won't be contacting her with updates and when it is born; however my mum has regular contact with her so she will probably find out anyway.

    Im either almost 7 or almost 11 weeks (will find out from my dating scan on the 17th November) so its early days but im going to enjoy every minute of being pregnant and ignore THAT woman.

    congrats to you all too.
    xx
  • Aww thats bad! imagine saying that 2 u! I would do the same, just ignore her and dont contact her again!

    Congrats on your baby and welcome 2 baby expert! image

    Sharon x

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  • Wow, I'm completely shocked by her reaction! Not that I would agree, but I could understand how she might mistakenly think it was bad news if your circumstances were VERY different (although even then who would be to say that you were unhappy about it) and even still, if you were unhappy about it, why laugh first - however you look at it, it's the most insensitive reaction I could ever think of!!!

    It sounds very peculiar that she has reacted like this to your mum's pregnancies too. Do you think she has some history of abortion or miscarriage or something? Not that that makes it any better, but I just can't get my head around why somebody would be so negative!

    Anyway, if I were you I would ignore her and if she decides to come back to you with something happy to say then fine and if not, it's her loss.

    But most of all, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!

  • What an awful thing to say to somebody! The first thing i thought was I bet she has no children of her own, and i see from your other post that she doesnt. I'd think either she's so against having children that she cant understand why anybody else would do it, or she's extremely jealous that she never managed to have any of her own. Either way she needs to know how much she's hurt you, she should in no way be allowed to get away with treating you like that!
    I had problems with one of my Aunts, she never congratulated me about having either of my children, they've never had christmas or birthday cards, and when my Grandad (her dad) died she never even bothered coming to the funeral. I have severed ties with her completely now, but before i did i wrote to her telling her exactly how she had made me feel. She probably wasnt bothered at all, she never made any effort to apologise after, but it really made me feel better, so if you feel like you want to say something to her about it, i would recommend writing a letter!
    Hope you're feeling a little better xx
  • Sounds like a weirdo to me! I remember when i told people i was pregnant is they didn't seem as happy as me it made me really upset and thats with them saying congratulations. I can't imagine how it must feel for someone to say that to you. Just remember that normal people would be polite and congratulate you no matter what they thought and this lady is obviously not normal. Just don't take anything she says to heart, it may be easier to cope with in a few weeks time when you've gotten use to all the new things your feeling. I can't stand people like this and would be really rude back but maybe you should feel sorry for her coz your so happy and she's obviously not xxx

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  • firstly - huge congratulations!!!!

    secondly - she sounds utterly jealous and very bitter about her own life. i'd not activley fall out with her but i wouldn't bother contacting her. i think she's someone to be pitied more than anything as if she can't be happy for other people there's no way she's happy herself.

    enjoy your fabulous news with those who will celebrate with you... and anyone else can get stuffed.....


  • i dont know what to say if it was me i would find it hard to talk to her again with out wanting to scream at her.
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