LOST: One DH's sex drive

I know last week we had some ladies saying they've gone off sex, but my OH has!

We've only been doing it once a week or so since I got pregnant (am just into my 2nd trimester) and I miss it! But he says he just doesn't fancy it as he feels funny about it because of the baby being there - especially since he saw it on the scan. He reckons its like having sex with a pet watching!

I'm grateful for the cuddles and kisses, and snuggling on the sofa, and I do adore that stuff, but did anyone else find their husband felt like this? And did it change?

Trying not to be paranoid - he says he finds me beautiful and I know I don't really look different to before as I'm not showing even remotely yet (boobs are bigger but can't see that being the problem...!) but I just wondered if it had happened to anyone else?

Posts

  • Oh Flush, I wish I could sympathise but I cant. In fact I have the total opposite problem. My dh cant keep his hands off me and its really annoying me. Ive put on a lot of weight (very noticeable bump and very fatty, cellulite thighs, bum etc) and I hate it, it makes me feel very unsexy. My dh loves it! I dont get the kisses and cuddles, as he then gets turned on and its a nightmare so its best left all round. xx
  • oh tuppence you made me giggle xxx
  • Oh Tuppence, you poor thing! We're having the opposite problem, aren't we?

    Not sure if there are any easy answers to it, though.
  • Flush what about doing everything bar intercourse I am sure you could have some fun that way xxx
  • Thanks Rache - that would suit me, but he just can't get into the mood at all!

    I tried to assure him that a) the baby can't see through my abdomen and even if it could, its eyes aren't open yet and b) it can't hear what we're up to, but he said that didn't help....

    I'll perserve: I can't wait until May to get frisky! I'm in my prime!
  • Ooh - I might get that and see if it helps!

    Glad he's not the only one, though. It somehow really reassures me.
  • Hey
    My hubby doesnt leave me alone! Even at 7am today he was yanking at my jammie bottoms!! lol

    I went and got the prima baby mag today, so gona have a peek at the 'sex with a bump' bit lol

    Sharon x
    http://bd.lilypie.com/qxznp1/.png

  • mmm my dh cant wait to get it on. we are very inventive usually its just with the spd i dont find it a turn on.
    got the article and have read it but didnt show dh, didnt want to give him any more ideas! lol
    Filo x
  • You're all so lucky! It is really hard to go from doing it all the time to practically nothing.

    I am going to do my best to look vampy this evening (but will be leaving the wax pot out of it after last week's problems) and see how that goes!
  • oh yes nearly forgot about your half and half accident! hehe sorry
    Filo x
  • Hi Flush!

    My OH is exactly the same!! we used to be at it like rabbits up until Sept (OH has / Had a VERY high sex drive) when he went really funny and he said he feels like he's squashing the baby! I found this a bit frustrating, my drive goes up and down and when its up its up lol like these last couple of weeks, but he kind of brushes it off, I felt really hurt and unactractive, I think at the weekend it was the first time in about 3 weeks since we have done it, I mean we do other stuff but it seems like I wont get back to normal until the little man arrives!

    36+1

    Lyns xx
  • Thanks Lyns - that is really helpful (although I do sympathise)!

    I'm really, really trying not to take it personally, and am just hoping it'll improve. If not, I suppose I need to wait until the baby is actually born.... hmm.... that's a very long wait indeed....
  • my oh has gone off sex too since fnding out I am pregnant and tbh its driving me insane! Just thought i'd let you know you are far from alone.

    http://women.evenhealth.com/image/c/bg900239.jpg

  • Thanks Lucretia - nice to know I'm not the only one.

    With a bit of luck, it'll get better for us both soon!;\)
  • My hubby's totally off sex too (though he never turns down the offer of other, ahem, related activities). He just doesn't like the thought of putting his bits & bobs so close to our baby :lol: This suits me fine as since being pregnant I've been totally off sex or anything related - plus we're still having lots of cuddles etc. so I still feel close to him.

    I've warned him that in a few weeks he's going to have to get over himself and get on with it, as by then I'll be ready to try any and everything to get the baby out.

    35+5
  • my OH hardly had a sex drive to begin with and now that i'm pregnant he keeps putting it off, first he said he wanted to be safe and wait till 12 weeks, then he said 16 weeks, i'm 20 weeks on wednesday and still no sign of 'sexy' time which is killing me as i have a BIG sex drive, i used to moan if i went a week with out sex (i would sulk) and now its been nearly 20 weeks image

    we'll be having the baby in with us for the first 6 months so i've got a feeling at this rate he wont want to have sex until the baby is in its own room! that would be september 09!!!!!!!!! help please?
  • My OH is exactely the same. He finds it very strange having our little boy in between us! We do have sex but maybe once a week and i have to really want it.

    He will only do it in certain positions aswell. Some men find pregnancy very sexy and others find it more difficult. I have explained to my OH many times he can't poke the baby but i dont think he believes me!

    Hate to admit it but pre-pregnancy i was a slim 8stone 6 and worked out 3 times a week. Now i am like a lazy lump who has huge boobs, thighs and belly and i now exercise my jaw by eating! He did admit the other day saying 'i miss my little emily'

    He is very excited about baby don't get me wrong but he is just one that prefers my figure before baby! ( hopefully it will be the same after)

    Basically i am saying dont worry if your OH's aren't that keen, it is hard for them as well as us seeing our bodies change. There are plenty out there that feel the same.

    xxx
  • Flush.....i can't write much as i am sooo frustrated (if you know what i mean) but i completely understand what you are going through....so much so someone on here thought you were me! lol

    I am going to buy the magazine tomorrow and hope it works xx
  • Oh ladies! Thanks for making me realise I'm not alone. Really appreciate it.

    Hope we all get the action we want soon!

    I tried to buy the magazine but it wasn't in my village shop sadly.
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