feeling lonely

Hi all just wondering if anyone else is feeling like i am? I live with my fiancee and 0ur 18 month old son and im 23 weeks pregnant. My oh is absolutley brilliant but i feel so alone as i feel like ive not really got anyone to tlk to about my pregnancy. All my friends seem to have faded into the distance since i became pregnant this time round (as i cant go out) and my mum who is meant to be the one i can turn to just doesnt seem to care what is going on with me and just rings me all the time telling me about all the worries she has got (none of which would be major to anyone but her) i am just sick to death of having to listen to everyones problems.
My mum just rang me and without even asking if everything was ok with me or her grandson, went on for over an hour about the fact that she owns 2 houses, one of which she has just sold for ??75,000 profit and how hard it is on her because she has to sort selling the house out. Im sorry but to me thats a good thing!

Sorry if i sound pathetic but it would just be nice if for once she would at least ask how things were going or how her grandson is (shes only seen him 5 times despite only living 20 mins down the road)

Posts

  • Oh speckle,

    I'm so sorry you're feeling so down. It seems to me that if I were in your position, I would feel exactly the same. Have you tried telling your mum how you feel? Maybe she just doesn't realise the effects of what she's saying and how she is acting. It may be worth having a little word with her to explain.

    In terms of your friends, maybe you could invite them round for even just a coffee and a catch up so that you're getting to see other people too. You don't need to even go out.

    Other than that, I find his site a great comfort (on both my good days and bad days) so come on here and get things off your chest. If it helps a little, then that can only be a good thing.

    Hope you perk up soon, Love Em xxxxxxxxxx
    P.S. Nice to meet you - I'm new on here!
  • Hi thansk for the reply and welcome to the site.

    I definately find coming on here a comfort. As far as mym mum is concerned everything has got to be about her and it always has been. I've tried telling her how i feel but she just doesnt seem to care, everything in her life has to be one step more dramatic than anyone elses, when realistically shes got a pretty easy life!

    My oh tells me not to have anything to do with her and i cant blame him because she constantly has me in tears with the way she speaks to me, but shes my mum and im pretty much used to it now! Anyway sorry to be going on im Beckie by the way im 24 and from wigan near manchester. what about you?
  • Oh sweetie that sounds pretty rough, I'm in a similar boat, I don't really know that many people round here as our friends have gradually all moved away and my parents, although ace, are 70 miles away. If I'm honest your mum sounds like a pain, my mum sees my lo about once a fortnight despite the drive and in between makes time to drive 100 miles in the other direction to see my niece. Have you thought about going to some groups with your son? I take Millie to swimming lessons once a week and we meet up with some other mums at the local soft play place most weeks as well. Even if you don't have that much in common it at least means you'll get some adult conversation for a change!

    Hope you feel a bit more positive soon, I have days where I could just sit and cry at how bored I am but I don't think the hormones help!!
    Kerry xx
  • Hi i dont really get time to go to baby groups,as by the time i get are Logan up and do all the usual daily routines ie house work,washing ect....ect....ect.... i have to go to work at 4 so i never seem to have time to do anything. My friends are great at work but i dont really hear from them when im not there. My mother in law is great but its just not the same has having you rown mum around. She didnt even come to see my son til he was 3 months old and then only stayed for 5 mins. I am just sick to death of being her agony aunt, shes got money in the bank, is debt free, doesnt work and has no responsibilites as im the youngest child but still thinks her life is always more important than anyone elses!

    She really is the most selfish women i have ever met and im coming to the conclsion that i should just cut all ties, my life would be so less stressful!! god i go on dont i lol
  • You go on as much as you like, often a good rant is the best way to get it out of your system! I think the reason I manage to find time for the baby groups is that firstly I am a stay at home mum so I get more time and secondly I am basically a lazy cow and as long as the house is relatively clean and we have some clothes that are clean to wear that will do for me. I am lucky that I have a very neat and tidy oh who not only doesn't expect me to clear up after him but also clears up after me lol He has even taught Millie to clear up and she tells me off if I don't hang up my coat and put my shoes away when we come home (she is 18 months!) Cutting all ties with your mum might be a bit radical, I would just find an excuse to put the phone down every time she starts moanin, you never know she might get the idea eventually!
  • I completely understand how you are feeling babe!

    I am 38 and I can honestly say I have never ever felt as lonely as I do right now! I moved 200 miles to live in Bolton 2 years ago and made a couple of friends but all my family and best friends live in Watford. I did start to have some sort of a life, getting out and about, college etc but now SPD has rendered me near enough housebound. I am now hating my pregnancy and cant wait for Tommy to arrive so we can start getting out to mother and baby groups, rejoin college etc and having grown up conversation! It has caused soooo many rows with my OH because when I do see him I feel I have no "adult" conversation to offer because I havent done anything! That is why if ever you need to get on here and chat I am usually here, spend most of my day on the computer or asleep through boredom!

    I would say be careful of cutting all ties with your mum babe! Me and my mum had a very rocky relationship and she died 3 1/2 yrs ago and I miss her more than I ever thought I would! Why not back off for a while and only see her when necessary - is she likely to realise there is a problem?

    I think somedays its only through places like this site that I have a teeny tiny bit of sanity left in me lol

    Love Lee
    xxxxx
  • BEDHEAD
    i know what you mean about millie are Logan is the same age and does the same thing lol My oh is pretty tidy himself but i always seem to have something to do. i dont know if you'd agree but my house just seems so cluttered with are Logan and the little one on the way. We've got 4 double bedrooms and still every room is full of toys and baby stuff lol

    LEE

    I know how you feel i still in kind of the same area but ive moved so many times since i was about 14 that keeping in touch with all my friends is hard work.
    I really do not want to cut ties with my mum but she can just be so nasty. She cant help but up others down. She even told me the other day that my mother in law is only nice to me because she wants my inheritance when my mum and dad pass away (their divorced) i wouldnt mind but shes never even met his parents and my oh's mum is more of a mum to me anyway and has been from day one. I found out today that she has sold her house (throwing my brother who rents it off her out in the process) and paid her oh mortgage off. This house was bought by my mum and dad 24 years ago and we've always been told it would be our inheritence but now it will all go to her oh daughter. My dad only took his name off it about 4 months ago! its like she just loves to punish us.
  • We're not actually too bad for clutter at the minute, we moved in Nov from a fairly small three bed to a big four bed so we haven't had time to fill it up yet! (we are working on it though) We actually made the 'spare' room downstairs into a playroom instead of a dining room as we have a huge kitchen dinner so all the toys tend to get thrown in there with the door shut. Seemed like quite a big room until christmas when my mum bought Millie a Little Tikes playhouse which takes up most of the room. Roll on summer so it can go in the garden.
  • I wish we didnt have so much clutter, we even got a massive skip the other week and filled it up and still the house is full of stuff. Im dreading sorting the babys nursery out as i've no idea where everything is going to go. I really dont know how id cope if we had a smaller house. my friends due to have a baby in may and still lives at home with her mum so the baby will be in her room and i dont know how she is going to do it. lol
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