The bureaucracy of being pregnant!

Hi there

I went for my twelve week scan yesterday/hospital midwife appointment and it was a very strange experience.

Whilst they scanned me, the student and sonographer talked to each other 99% of the time and only pushed the screen around once (for less than a minute) to show me the baby! I've had private scans which have been great in comparison and can now see the service you pay for!

I then had the midwife appointment - she talked and talked whilst filling in hundreds of forms and barely had time to look up from the desk - I had a quick shot in the arm for blood taken and that was it! This is my second midwife appointment and at no point have they asked if I have any questions! In fact for this appointment it didn't seem to matter if I wasn't there at all! She seemed a pleasant woman (though I wouldn't want to mess with her :lolimage but the bureaucracy of being pregnant seems rediculous - the form filling seemed more important than me!

Anyone else had similar experiences? And does it get any better? :\)


  • Hi secretmama, I went for my scan on wednesday and for me it was a very pleasant experience. There were 2 screens one was close to the sonographer and the other was for us and he explained everything to us. Then when i went to the midwife she explained what she was going to do and why and then asked if i was ok with it and if i had any questions after all that she did the form filling and still answering questions. I did have a couple of questions but only realised once i got home so that was my fault, lol.
    This was my first appointment so i dont know if i was lucky or if this is normal.
    I hope your next experience is going to be better, you probably caught them on a busy day but thats no excuse. If thats how my first appointment went i would have been so upset.
  • Glad to hear things were better for you Fatema, and TallKatie too. Luckily, we weren't too upset as have had private scans etc. so have had a good look at baby. Had we not though, I think it would have been a bit of a let down. Perhaps it's because it's a teaching hospital and they're trying to do two things at once.

    As it was DH missed the scan - we turned up 40 minutes early and could find nowhere to park - just posted details in Due Oct forum! He was quite upset but I tried to reassure him he'd not missed much. Thank goodness for the private scans though otherwise we'd have been very upset about all this.

    They didn't offer a bounty pack either - I had to ask for this.

    Wonder whether the labour will be all about filling in forms - maybe baby will actually turn out to be a ringbinder :lol:

    Patient Number 185643546 (formally known as secretmama :lol: )

    [Modified by: secretmama on April 11, 2008 12:41 PM]
  • Secretmama - can i ask how much the private scan was?

    Me and DH both have Bupa as part of our package from work but i don't think pregnancy is covered in this. I am longing for a scan to prove that it is real, in my own head....!

    I am 6 weeks this weekend.

    Thanks xx
  • Hi, I know where you're coming from, as have had similar experiences. First appointment with mw lasted ages cos there were loads of forms to fill in, though she was pleasant enough. During first scan at about 12wks the sonographer very bluntly told hubby to "sit down!" because he'd stood up to try & see the screen! Poor man was excited as first scan of first child! I teased him about it afterwards!
  • Lol! I know what you mean secretmama, my experiences have also involved an awful lot of form filling! Plus my scan seemed a bit brief, although the sonographer did turn the screen round to show me a few times it was never for very long. My husband could see from where he was sitting, but I felt a bit left out at times.

    The main thing thats made me laugh though, is the admin mistakes that I've had. My first hospital sent me a letter saying that 'Although I didn't attend my appointment at 2.35pm, they had made me another one'. I did attend my appointment- but at 4.05pm on the same day, the time it was always booked for!
    Then I got booked in with the mw at a different hospital last Saturday (she was very pleasant and helpful), and this week they sent me a letter inviting me to attend my booking-in appointment next Tuesday.. sigh. My husband reckons that at this rate they will start trying to induce me 2 weeks after the baby has arrived !
  • Thanks TallKatie - our Westie is only 7 months old and completly spoilt. We love her too bits...

    Will have a lok on google and see what i can find.

  • hi hun,i see a consultant for all of my scans as have had a bad experience in the past so need extra scans and i have to say that he is fantastic although i cnt say the same for my midwife!she seems to just rush me in and out n never asks if i have any questions!i've been suffering with spd/bad pelvus since cery early in my pregnancy and she basically told me its part of bein pregnant n get on with it!i had to ask her at my last appointment if we could start filling in my birth plan as im not seein her again till im 37 weeks!she hasnt told me bout any antenatal classes or anything either.didnt know if its cuz i already have 1 child but it does make u feel bit left out n dissappointed dnt it!! hanna xx

  • Hi secretmama, my first one was just like that, we hardly saw a thing. I still haven't seen the same midwife twice throughout this pregnancy and I am almost 33 weeks gone!!
  • That sounds awful! Luckily I haven't had this problem and all my treatment has been brilliant (apart from when I was about 18 weeks and had a really bitchy midwife...its in my previous posts, grrrr! She wasnt my normal midwife though).

    It is all form-filling though and it bugs me too! I bet they never had that 20 years ago.

    I think it is bad practice not to have a good rapport with your patients and get to know them. I hear such horrible stories on here. My midwife always asks me how I am doing and she doesn't mean just how well I am, she is interested in how my relationship is and the people in my life which would seem annoying to some people but I think its considerate! She's never bullying about breast/bottle feeding either and apparently lots can be!

    All a postcode lottery sadly! xxx

  • Don't want to give the impression that I've had nothing but bad experiences! Have had lots of extra scans, mostly with the same consultant, & he's really nice, always says well done (?!) at the end & always asks if we've got any questions or concerns. I also think cos I'm a lot older than when I was last pregnant I'm more inclined to ask questions - I sometimes write little lists of things to ask so I don't forget anything! I don't care if they think I'm a pain!
  • Hi hun

    I had a very similar experience regarding your scan, the sonographer who did the scan was chatting away to another women about food shopping and the fact that she was annoyed because she was meant to be on her dinner but was now scanning me! I didnt see any of the scan and only got 1 photo when i asked for a few to give to family.I then asked if i needed my notes filling in but was told just to go home and it would be done at my next appointment. We drove for an hour to my mil's to be rang up and told we needed to go back as she had missed some measurements! I didnt say anything but burst into tears, as that is meant to be such a magical time and it was ruined. When we went back my oh complained and the hospital agreed to let a mw scan me rather than a sonographer and she was really lovely. So got a good result in the end
  • Oh Fraus, your story made me laugh (sorry) - I can't believe she bossed your husband. Mind you, if it happened to us DH would just think it was normal as I'm a bit of a bossy boots now and then :lol:

    MrsB - I've seen private scans posted on this msg board for about ??75 but our early scan was ??100 and a Nuchal Translusancy scan (sorry about spelling) was ??180. I agree with the other posters, I would try and wait another week so you don't risk having to have a transvirginal scan, plus you'll be able to hear the heartbeat. It was a much better experience (the private scan) as the screen was facing me throughout so we go to see the baby for a long period.

    I can't believe some of the other experiences you girls have posted - especially Speckle - that's terrible! At least the experiences seem to be mixed and some people have had good ones.

    I got the impression that breastfeeding was high on the agenda at the hospital as there were posters everywhere! Luckily I'm going to give it a go, but I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't want to or who has a go and changes their mind - don't fancy trying to say 'no' to some of the midwives I've heard about x
  • hi my appointments have been mixed, the ones at the hospital for my scans have been great and we also got to see everyhing that the mw did and she talked us through it step by step but at the gp's my mw appointments have all been disapointing and shes not spoke to us about anythingother than paperwork, not even a bitrhing plan or classes so my next app is mon and im going to go in with a list of questions an a pen, hopfully i'll bet her to it and then feel more like its worth while, xxx

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