Am I being Emotional or with in my rights??
Jan 31, 2008 9:17AM
Jan 27, 2008 9:18PM
I was just wondering - if it's my hormones or if other women find my other half more attractive recently since we have announced our baby news!
Facebook - bloody stalk book! One girl inparticuar has been sending my OH messages which are suggestive such as a sexy poke ' provokitive dance' he deleted it without me saying anything because he felt it was 'inapropriate'! She is not particular nice looking I am just wondering what her aim is - He has stuff about me our engagement and our baby all over his page, but ive been annoyed because if she asks him a question she tarts it up puts lots of 'xxxxxxxxxxx' and 'babes' 'for little meeeeeeee?' and he replies all be it just to answer her question!! They don't know each other so i don't understand why he accepted her to begin with?
I feel like she feels he is a challange now, he is attractive and of course i'm emotional!
we have been together a long time and of course over time both of us has had people find us each attractive, thats normal - i just don't like this!
Am I being resonable?
I asked him about it and he offered to delete his account altogether... Its not the point! I suspose I feel because he acepted her friendship request and replys - that he knows her intentions are of a sexual nature and by replying even if its not in the same tone or manner can be seen as encouragement??
what do you think? xx
Jan 28, 2008 4:25AM
this happened to me!!!!!!!
it was b4 i was pg tho i think i would go mad if it happened now!!!!!!!!!
when my oh had a girl messaging him like this i was not a happy bunny so what i did was this....
after she had left a message on his page i left a message basicly calling her a slut (she did have a slutty pic tho) and then i asked him to delete her which he did problem solved!!
Jan 28, 2008 4:34AM
My OH isnt in to things like facebook but i had similar thing on mine.
i accepted a guy who went to same school as me...a few years above and he started with the rude pokes and calling me babes in email and endign it with loads of kisses.
I was not impressed never mind what OH thought. So i deleted him only to keep getting msgs asking why i had deleted him......like he couldnt take the hint!! I told him i didnt want him getting in contact as although i went to same school as him i didnt really know him so it was pointless talking.
Your OH doesnt have to close his account there is an option to block individuals so they cannot find you on there. thats what i did with this guy. he then moved onto my sister asking why i had deleted him etc.....and asking her if she wanted to go for a drink...loser!!!
the girl msging your OH is prob desperate for someone and getting in touch with a whole lot of people hoping for at least one response!
Jan 28, 2008 5:22AM
I feel like oh just let her get on with her stupid desprate games...
I suspose I am hurt that he allowed it to develop at all - He let her add him, he replied to her over 'friendly' messages ... even if it were just to give an blunt answer... I just feel like its still encouragement!
How would he feel if I added fellas I didnt know and let them make suggestive comments to me... he wouldn't know because I always set very clear boundries and don't let things just happen!
sorry not the biggest problem in the world but I am just stressed over it! x
Jan 28, 2008 5:57AM
I have had similar with my husband, he is a club manager and works away from home a lot until monday yayy. So the problem I have is a lot of these girls are also his staff and friends etc and I dont know who they are. He also said he would delete his account but I said no as I thought that mayve that would be a bit unfair to him.
I am quite a jealous, nervous person when it comes to him and work anyway as when he worked in a club that we both worked at but I left to have my children we did break up for a couple of months as he was seeing someone else, it wasnt a sexual relationship with this person otherwise I wouldnt have taken him back but that is where my insecurities come from when things like this happen. It is so hard as you want to trust them but I think sometimes with men they like the attention even though my husband is devoted to me and the girls I think it feels nice to him that someone may still fancy him!
I know when I have been out and a man may try chat me up, i say no thanks but always feel flattered that you have still got it!
I know all this doesnt help but reading up it seems quite a lot of men seem to be doing this.
I cna offer any advice but just wanted to add my story.
Hope you are all well
Jan 28, 2008 5:59AM
Facebook!!!!I know what you all talking about!!!! My god I have the same moan. Little winks and kisses!!!I mean what the hell are wrong with these girls. They see these guys have gf's in their lives and babies on the way. It's like they go out their way to cause a stir. This was someone my bf used to know as a friend. And she always sends things like. Do you remember the same stuffed toys we got? we should reunite them!!!blah blah blah. Oh and my favourite. "when are you free?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx" I mean what the hell is that all about?. I told him to do it and I will come along. But I think he was afraid of what I'm capable of. Cause I swear mother to be or not. This is not the time to be P******* me off.
He deleted her as well. Along with the rest that could cause any damage. I feel a bit cheated cause he never told her off or said anything about can you not as my gf finds this uncomfortable sending me winks and kisses....
Oh well!!I guess she is out his life for good. I hope cause he still has msn and myspace.
Jan 28, 2008 9:19AM
we have been fighting all morning over this! FFS!
Jan 28, 2008 9:38AM
My sister went through something similar.
She went througha bit of a tough time with her OH at one point and he started getting texts off his friends wife trying to set him up with her friend, even though she knew he was working on their relationship and that my sister was pregnant.
My sister always thought that she fancied her OH anyway (the one sending the texts not her friend).
I know its not exactly the same situation, but I think some women have a thing for men who should be ''untouchable'' Ive never understood it myself, but i suppose it might be the wanting what you cant have.
Jan 28, 2008 9:46AM
Yeah maybe... my point to him is tho... he could be more proactive in preventing or stopping it if someone does try!
why does it have to take for me to be upset for him to say he'll do something about it! he has deleted her now... but its not her i'm in a relationship with so she is free to do as she pleases and ifs thats chase fellas in realtionships with a little one on the way thats her choice dispite the lack of morals or worth while values!
My point is that he is in a relationship with me nobody else... I said If i added fellas i didnt know and allowed them to speak to me in the same manner how would HE feel?
he clearly didnt like the question! but ive never done it so I dont think he has any idea!
Now imagine that!! & being pregnant, feeling vunrable, body changing, hormones all over the place, and for the person who is ment to love you does seem motivated enought to make sure your secure within the relationship!
Jan 28, 2008 10:03AM
Yeah-I know what you mean, not exactly from experience but from what my sister and other people have been through. My OH cant use the internet to save his life and likes drinking in pubs where they're all old men so I dont have them issues as such. But he can be very insensitive sometimes and doesnt seem to understand when Im upset about something.
The other week i got upset over something silly and he basically had a huge go at me for it, saying how he had more things to worry about then something as small as that. Again its completely differnt to your situation but I wish he'd at least pretend that something was important because obviously even though it was little it was important to me
Jan 28, 2008 10:35AM
I know what it feels like to have to cry to get him to notice when somethign hurts or upsets me. I do believe I was called selfish and self centered when I got upset about it.
We should bloody set up a group on their...lol mothers to be against relationship wreckers..or something!!!! The same thing happened with my friend on there as well. While she was pregnant with her second. He deleted his account and so did she. Was sad to loose contact with a friend. But I'm glad they got that out the way. Not good to feel like this while being pregnant.
Sit him down and try talkign to him calmly and say to him. Why it hurts you. I play the very hurt card in situations like this although I fume inside. And stopping myself from getting hold of her and bloody let rip on her. But I don't dare!!!
Jan 28, 2008 1:08PM
ive sent her a bit of an arsey email but feel much better! x
Jan 29, 2008 5:28AM
Ha ha ha ha!!!good on ya girl!!!!
I didn't wantt o be the one telling you to do it. But deep down I knew that it would make you feel better. Letting it out on the person that deserves it the most.
Will bloody teach her!!You tell me if she replys to it.
Jan 31, 2008 9:17AM
She did reply but I was left with the moral High ground so felt quite pleased and empowered by the whole thing!
Spoke to Simon about it and he was upset to think I was hurt and just said he Panicked about upsetting me, but that he loves me more than anything and that i'm the only one who matters to him, and that i'm carrying his child and that if i felt I had to send her an email to feel better that its fine but for me to know he adored me...
so feeling better about the whole thing now! thanks tho xxx
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