very worried

30 weeks pregnant

I know I've been and still am being really stupid. I've smoked 5-10cigarettes a day for the duration of my pregnancy over the last month have cut down to around 3 a day and going to stop in the next week. I feel so bad a bout this but it hasn't stopped me smoking. I've had 2 previous miscarriages one at 12 weeks and was so stressed at being pregnant again which is not an excuse.

My problem is I've not told the midwife because she would write it in my notes and my husband may find out. He would never speak to me again! My bump doesn't seem to be growing even though the midwife said everything was fine last week and I can feel baby kicking. I'm just terrified now that I'll lose baby and am hardly sleeping worrying about things.

Anyone got any advice and know where to buy a decent baby doppler.

Thankyou
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Posts

  • Hi ya

    I smoked between 15 & 20 cigs a day with my first 2 pregnancies and both my boys are in perfect health. I didnt tell the midwife or my Gp that I smoked because I didnt want it in my notes either, so your not alone. I have managed to quit before i concived with this one though.

    A friend of mine told me that her midwife had told her to cut down as much as possible however dont stress over it to much because that isnt good for baby either......!!

    Ive read on here that alot of ladies use the angelsounds doppler which they get of ebay.

    Sara xx only 47 days left

  • hi im 33/4 and have smoked too yes i feel guilty but my midwife said it would do more harm than good to try and quit now. i smoked with my first son he is now 11 and was born 8lb 5 and healthy x x x
  • Hello, I'm 24 and 39 weeks with baby number three. I have never smoked, but my mum went through two to three packs a day everyday through her pregnancy with me and long after. I am fit and well and have been capable of every part of normal life. I just thought maybe knowing that lots of babies grow up healthy and normal with a mum who smokes or not might help you feel less stressed. Just eat well and get as good a night's sleep as you can. You need these things most and so does your lo. Good luck. xxx
  • I think its not the smoking here thats the problem, your guilt about lieing to OH is whats distressing you the most and I think that will prob do more harm to you well being than the fags! You really need to chill abit, at the end of the day whats done is done now, enjoy your pregnancy and take this as experience never to lie to OH again. I did it about a credit card bill and it made me so ill with worry.

    Take care and enjoy your pregnancy, I dont smoke anymore as I gave up 3 years ago but I know alot of people who have during pregnancy and so far no probs with there children, so although its not a good thing, I have no experience of it having any effect detrimental or otherwise.
  • Hi Im glad someone has mentioned smoking, I am still smoking 20 /26 a day, and I am ashamed. Ive smoked most of my life and at the moment dealing with giving up is just another thing to stress me out.
    I have made my mind up that once the baby arrives their will be no smoking in the house or car etc.
  • Hiya,
    I'm glad too as it's not the sort of thing that you think would go down too well on a pregnancy website!
    I posted about this a while ago and got some really good advice about giving up, but still haven't managed to do it, I smoke 5-10 a day too (used to be 20 a day before being pg).
    My midwife isn't too concerned about it and I also smoked the same amount with my daughter who is 3 and absolutely fine. She only weighed 6lbs 11ozs but I am very slim and so is oh, and I only weighed 6lbs when born.
    Try not to worry yourself too much as like everyone else has said the worry isn't worth it, and you have managed to cut down a lot which is really good!!
    Faithxxx
  • Hi Girls - I know I keep going on about this but if you want to give up try Allen Carr's easy way to give up smoking. I gave up In April (just luck that it was before I got pregnant) after smoking for 18 years (gulp I've only just added up how long it was!). I'd tried to give up loads of times before without success. You have to persevere coz he sounds really patronising at first. You don't have to give up if you don't want to after reading/listening and you also don't have to pay out loads on patches etc (a definite bonus). I reakon it's worth a go for anyone - you're not losing anything and if it works you've cracked it and for me it really was very easy! Good luck xxx
  • Thankyou very much all of you, I do feel a lot better and will keep trying to stop.
  • I just thought I would repky as I am in same situation, basically here goes,

    I didnt manage to quit with my first yet cut down to around 5 a day and my midwive actually said sometimes giving up can sometimes cause more stress, my daughter was born 8 days early at 6lb12 and is now 3 and not had any health problems(touch wood)

    With my second I gave up completely at 12 weeks as i couldnt stand it I then went on to have quite a problematic pregnancy and went into labour at 33 weeks but was stopped and had her at 36 weeks weighing 7lb and she has been ridden with colds since being born.

    I started smoking again and now 13 weeks pregnant again I gave up for 2 weeks now smoking 10 a day again! and really really struggling to give up again. I dont smoke in the house or around the children.

    I just feel so guilt that I managed it for my second but not my first or third! I just dont know where my willpower has gone from my second?

    I did also find that when I gave up I had more trouble sleeping for them 2 weeks and the day I had a cigarette again I slept like a beauty.

    I can completely sympathise with you all and any advice if any of you manage it would be greatly appreciated.

    xx

  • Hi there,

    I smoked 20-30/day for about 12 years, stopped 3 years ago when I had abnormal results in a smear as I feared it was cancer and realised I couldn't allow myself to smoke through treatment.

    I told work I was quitting as I knew it would be rough on my colleagues, who got a lot of snappy moods from me for about a fortnight. My OH quit too as I couldn't quit if he had cigs in his pocket! We completely stopped and I used nicotine lozenges for about 2 years on and off - at least 15 a day to start with and then down to 2 or 3 of an evening when I was going out with smokers or was stressed at work. I finally quit those when we started trying for a baby, but gp said it was much better to have nicotine lozenges than to risk starting smoking again.

    I guess my main motivation to quit was believing for about a month that I might have cancer. Would you quit if you thought you had cancer, or would you carry on? I know it's a difficult question cos you don't know how you'd react until the doc tells you, but I'm just saying this to try to help reframe it for you... outside of the low birthweight and respiratory problems already raised.

    It's one of the most addictive drugs though, and I sympathise with all of you trying to quit! Good luck. xx
  • OK enlighten me on something..

    HOw do you seriously think that someone would not know you were still smoking? it stinks, ya clothes smell, it makes your hair smell etc. I never get people who seriously believe that nobody will know.

    I know people that have smoked through pregnancy and their babies have been fine, i also know those who had early births etc.
    I have never smoked a day in my life and I kept going into labour early, managed to get to term and both were 10 days early. I also know peeps that don't smoke, never have and have had early births with problems. So I don't believe it makes a massive difference.
    I would try not to worry tbh, there is nothing you can do now anyway.
  • Hi elseth I know what you mean about trying to hide it I hate the smell it leaves on me and my hubby always comment on it as he doesnt smoke and always knows when I have a crafty one!

    I also know what you mean about prem births etc as my youngest who I gave up with came early and i had a lot of problems with her. I do feel really bad and feel like I may as well just stick a fag in their mouths but even still its not stopping me when i stopped 6 weeks ago for 2 weeks i was a women possessed and I didnt want to give in but hubby had enough of me and brought me some fags home!

    It is definately not easy! x

  • Oh don't get me wrong, i never said it was easy at all. I totally understand how hard it must be to give up.

    I just find it comical when people seriously think nobody will know.
    I mean thats like smoking behind the bike sheds at school and thinking sucking an extra strong mint will hide the fact you just had a ciggy.
  • Oh no i wasnt meaning it like that lol, I just meant i agreed with you on the comical side of noone else knowing. Not only that when my placenta was delivered with my first they could tell that I smoked too which is scary too!

    xx
  • He he he, I used to do that Elsbeth, and then spray my fingers with Bodyshop dewberry body spray!!! oh its like going down memory lane!
  • i also smoked a few a day with my 1st daughter now 2 & she is very rarely ill & was a healthy weight born. With this one tho i did manage to give up & have been since july, i found the patches & chewing gum was great, even got them on perscription from the doc but only needed them for a few weeks then nothing. I think if you cant give up completely then cut down, anything is better than what you did before being pregnant, good luck xx
  • I really do think that keeping anything out of your notes is just silly, they are there for a reason and that is to assist the heathcare professionals who are going to help you during your delivery to do so as best they can.


    Say for example you needed an emergency C-Section, when you have an anestetic they ask if you smoke, well, if you are proper out of it and can't answer, your health could be compromised. Is it really worth it??

    I can put my hand on my heart and say I don't think it is. I'd have to tell them I smoked, coz at the end of the day my baby is more important than being judged for smoking.
  • hi,
    im now 27+5 and really trying to give up smoking i have only had 3 since nw yr eve but it has been very hard as i normal smoke around 20 a day.it has been very stressful at times. i really dnt see what smoking when pre does to the baby as i know alot of people who did and a lot of people who didnt. But all babys r fine healthy weight it cant be gd but like alot say can b worst 2 cut out due 2 stress i really wanta quit as i really dont wanta handly my son smelling of smoke i dont think any younge children should have to breath in smoke but i do think that in the tum its not receving the smoke like some posters would let you think Tori xxx
  • Anything that goes into your lungs goes to your child. You breath for it till it is born so of course it does.
  • Every pack you don't buy is over ??5 to spend on your baby... even if you smoke 3 a day, that's ??200 by the birth. If you smoke 10 a day, it's ??700.

    I don't think anyone should beat themselves up over smoking and quitting - it's very hard to do. However, this is not simply about birthweight and respiratory problems... smoking can end up killing you.

    Sorry for going on! xx
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