hospital visitors.... c-section

hi...
im having a c-section.. i had 1 with my first 2... soooo.... last time i had the entire family sat round my bed within hours of the emergency op- i was high on drugs, had a catheter bag hanging off the bed n jst felt awful.... so this time iv decided i don wnt any visitors for a few days, except oh, daughter and my mom (she will b there as my mom, not grandma)... so i txt my oh step mom yesterday just saying- im prewarning every1 that i wont b having visitors for a few days until im on my feet and had shower n started breast feeding, n nt feelin like a zombie..... so now, im in thr bad books.... his step mom is v 2 faced n i imagine she has worded it totally diff to my oh dad, as he txt oh 2 asky wr nt having visitors n was quite arsy... so i sent them duplicate txts, explaining, and had no reply!...
even if thy r a bit gutted tht thy have 2 wait a couple of days, thy cd atleast prtend thy r ok with tht, for my sake... im the 1 having a huge op!... they never ask how i am. how baby is, or even mention tht fact that im pregnant- thy never come over!...
if i was told this, i wdnt mind at all!!!!... id appreciate tht the mom needs time herself to recover!!!
im so mad rite now!!
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  • I told my relatives that only our parents and grandparents were welcome for the first week after we had the baby, as it was I had an emergenct c sect too, and ended up spending the first week in hospital going nuts and ended up txting my friend to visit me.

    see how you feel afterwards (although by the sounds of it the oh side dont deserve to be there!)

    Rach
    36+3
  • yea, iv said for a couple of days i dnt wnt visitors- if im in 3-5 days, then perhaps il feel up to it... bt defo not for the first 2 days... thy shd respect that!
  • They should, I know our parents wouldnt have been able to stay away as they were so excited, but it doesnt sound like they're that bothered anyway, You should def be giving your orders, some people dont realise that it is a very serious op.
  • yea... my mom wants 2 b at the hosp while im having the op,- she wants 2 b there for me! not as a grandma... purley cz she worries about me... an il want my mom thr as some support afterwards-- my oh will appreciate her help 2- as hes nt v good with hospitals!..
  • I was glad to see my mam afterwards, as it had been so horrendes, I just wanted a cuddle. and oh was great but not the same as having a cuddle with my mam, she also was great on day 3 when i get particually tearful and upset, she just sat with me holding me while I cried. oh had started telling me to pull myself together (that when he got a big punch). theres noone quite like your mam.
  • I am surprised your hospital allowed this! We've been told for any Mum who has a c-section that you are allowed visits from only: OH / partner, your OWN children and Grandparents are allowed a 10-min visit - this is for the first 24hrs but is assessed depending on your progress.

    Could you perhaps say your hospital are enforcing the "rules" this time? Unless its too late depending on what your texts said?

    I feel for you very much hun and hope you sort it out for yourself and nobody else. xxxxxxxxxxxx
  • we r going 2 a diff hosp for this one- im not sure on thr rules yet-- bt will b thr a day or so, then will b transfered closer 2 home to a midwife led unit,-- yea good idea- i cd say its hosp rules!!!!!
  • Do that hun - when it comes up in conversation, just say "sorry I didn't make myself clear, its not ME saying this, its the hospital who enforce these guidelines" and be really apologetic that you gave them the impression it was you!!! LOL

    Visitors are a bloomin nightmare!
    I want at least 3-4 days at home with only visits from my parents, my sister & brother and hubby's Dad. If Angus arrives on a Friday you can bet your bottom dollar every man and his dog from hubby's family will turn up as its the weekend!!! gggrrrrrr!
  • it annoys me 2, tht u see people tht havnt bothered with u thru out the preg, bt turn 2 see baby!... my family v awkward 2, as my mom had an affair with my oh dad!! yep!! crazy..so oh dad and step mom keep away from my mom- so wen im home im not hving them being awkward if my mom is at my house... and defo another reason i dnt wnt them around for a few days after the birth- feels awkward at the best of times
  • so glad u all seem to agree!.... thanku!! xx
    31 weeks
  • God, what a nightmare family are! You may find that the hospital wont allow visitors now anyway. When I was pregnant first time round, I had friends and family saying that they would be waiting in the corridor to come in straight after and were shocked when I said no! Bens mum was actually really upset about it. Well firstly, you cant get into the maternity unit unless you are in labour or with someone in labour and there certainly arent any corridors to wait in! Secondly, I was in labour for 20 hours (may be I should have let them wait - haha) ended up having an emergency section, where from the recovery room I got transferred straight onto the ward (at 1.00 am) and they only have 2 hours visiting a day on there, an hour in the afternoon and an hour at night. They dont allow anyone in outside these hours apart from your partner and then only 2 other people at a time.

    I asked for immediate family only to visit but Bens family ignored this and turned up en mass, the midwife chased loads of them off! Then when I came home on the Friday I was inundated on the Saturday all day with visitors. I have told people this time that they will have to wait till I am ready and they are invited. I didnt sleep when I was hospital, I had just had an operation and I was breast feeding so had to go upstairs every 45 minutes (greedy baby that I had) as I didnt fancy getting them out in front of every one. Its tough this time, they will have to do as they are told and if they ignore me I will just not answer the door!

    Its not fair when you have just gone through all that to have loads of visitors as well, you need to rest, and if they dont understand that then thats their problem not yours. Hope it all works out for you xxx
  • awwww yea!!!!.... makes me realise even more its them being selfish, not me!... i shall defo b keeping my word! and any1 that jst turns up will have to go... il ask the midwives 2 keep eye out!... it annoys me that thyr being so thoughtless????!!!..
    31 +4
  • well im not popular at the min...
    now oh sis is being arsy with me! jeeeez i js dnt get it!.... how selfish of them
  • can i just add i know exactly how you feel. i felt awful after my c-section. i had ds at 11 and that evening bil and sil turned up who we never see, my aunt uncle and 2 kids who again we never see! mil, step fil, hubby, my mum and dad and my sister and hubby!

    i ended up in tears- i was sick off the morphine and had drips and bags everywhere!

    this time i'm saying no to anyone apart from grandparents hubby and my sis. don't care if it upsets anyone they can visit when i'm home!

  • I'm completely in agreement with you - this is serious surgery, and it's not nice to be recovering from such an operation when you're surrounded by people you don't feel completely comfortable with.

    When my son was born I had an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic. Prior to his birth we had discussed names, and if it was a girl it would be Jennifer, and if it was a boy he would be Daniel. Anyway, after coming round from the anaesthetic, I remember waking up to seeing my oh's family passing a baby round and saying to me "meet Jack" - I was so confused - and couldn't believe my oh had let his mum, brother and sister in to the labour room while I was still out of it. I passed out and woke up about an hour later - and realised that Jack was my baby - it hadn't occurred to me earlier cos I was so out of it from the surgery - but they'd written his name on all hospital documents, and I was too weak and pathetic to complain - but I was sooooo f*cked off with them all.

    I was in the hospital for a week after the op and just wanted to be left alone - every time it was visiting time his bl**dy mother kept turning up with complete strangers - "this is Karen from the petrol station" - and even a woman she met at the bus stop - okay, so I understand she wanted to show her grandson off, but I didn't want my baby being passed around by strangers. So I told the midwife that the only people I want at visiting time was my oh and my mum, and all hell broke loose when his mum turned up.

    I'm not with this bloke anymore - but this time round i have made sure with my husband that for the first couple of days it will be just us and Jack - and only when I;m ready can he start inviting hsi family (who he's not that close to anyway) and friends around. it has caused a bit of trouble, but I've explained what happened last time and that we just want time to ourselves for the first few days.


    you just have to stick to your guns hunny - they'll get over it and when you're ready and you do invite them to meet baby - they'll forget everything as soon as they see how gorgous your new little bundle is!

    Txxx 31 weeks
  • People should definitely respect your wishes!!

    Good luck xx

    (I have nightmare inlaws - so know the feeling)

    Kittyboo 18+4
  • poppygirl thats awful i can't believe baby was passed round before you met x
  • no i totally agree with u hun. c sections make u feel like shit ,im haveing mine in 6 weeks and am dreading it u just feel so groggy and the last thing u need is ppl gorping at u they ent even comeing to see u its the baby wich is bloody selfish,
    considering wot u r gona go through if they dnt like your decision them stuff thm. Its not them going throught it its u and they shud be more understanding y cant they w8 till u get home ffs give u chance to breath i h8 it wen u have a baby every1ns like flies round shit, and its bolocks to the mum whos gone through it , sorry hunbut it gets me so mad tc hun stick to ypur guns xxx
  • i feel like printing out all these comments just to show them! to make them realise!!... awwww... its really upsetting in a way, as its making me so frustrated... being ignored now 2!..how silly... i jst cant understand why thy cant seem to understand what im saying!!!
  • That sounds horrible, I don't see why you need to explain it, surely people should just think of you as a person and respect you. It sounds so very tasteless, I don't mean to be rude but I'm glad for you that you are having a baby with someone else! You ex and family sound completely selfish! Especially the name thing. Good luck for this time, I hope you have a better time of it x
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