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hospital visitors after baby is born

iv mentioned this is in another forum- js wanted some more oppinions
i am hoping for an elective c-section this time.. i had emergency with my 1st....
so il be in hosp a few days.... however im dead against having visitors- i want my oh and daughter and mom 2 come whenever!!... bt really hate the thought of having the in-laws, friends, ppl tht dont bother coming 2 see us any other time (in-laws)..wen il be feeling so tired, rough, stuck in bed after the op... like last time with my first- i had them all sat round my bed a few hours after the op, with drip, catheter, n jst feeling awful..... i felt soooo horrid... id like a few days 2 get on my feet, have a shower, get dressed, and feel 'nice'.....
wd it be rude of me 2 tell them i dont want visitors??
except oh, daughter, and my mum..
it annoys me, tht we havint seen my oh parents- (he has mom -step dad... dad and step mom),... for ages- thy neva come round or ask how i am, or ask about baby.....
any1 else like this

Replies

  • I'm like that.
    I dont want any of them to visit until we're out of hospital, but I know we'll be kept in at least 4 days and OH is being a pain about letting his bloody mother up to see the baby.
    Last time they were in the delivery room within hours of the emergency c sec staring at me like i was a freak, and this time around i dont want them anywhere near me at all.... but OH doesnt get it.
    At some point we'll have to seriously sit down and talk about it, but i expect that will develop into a really big row as he cant see past the sun shining out of his mums arse.
    I fully intend to get the mws on the mat ward on my side and tell them that i want no visitors except OH and Ollie for the first two days at all, full stop. The rest can bugger off, my dad included!
    Then when we get home again i dont want visitors for the first few days whilst we settle into our own little routine as a family of 4 (cos thats what we are, not the family of 5 OH seems to think we are that involves his mum all the time! )
    Gah!!!

    Tell the MWs on the ward not to let anyone in, they can do that for you image
    xxx
  • yay glad some1 agrees!!!....
    definatly its our families!! so y shd we worry so mch about pleasing other ppl.... ahhh im so determine now 2 tell them!!!!!...
    will u warn them in advance (b4 birth), tht u rnt having visitors??... or let oh do tht wen he tells them baby has arrived?
  • I've already told them, but they seem to think I'm having a laugh about it. getting fed up of them taking the piss so will see how they like it if they turn up and get turned away. :lol:
    If the subject is broached by MIL before then I'll just tell her straight I dont want her there, and sod OH. It's me thats going through childbirth and if he wants his mum up to stare and piss me off the he can carry the baby and give birth.

    xx
  • I told everyone no visitors when I had lo and honestly no one minded. they totally accepted that I wanted and needed my space. I think if you tell them in advance they will be fine. S x
  • id better let them know soon then..
    defo, its us thats the hospital patient, so we shd have the say..... its our baby... and the 1st few days r the most special, so y shd we feel so annoyed at having ppl thr tht we dont want...
    im lucky tht my oh has said its ok- if thats what i want....
    wen r u due??
    25 +3
  • My EDD is around may I'm gona have my husband and my patents and my siblings and their kids and my in laws as my in laws are caring for me and the baby n my husband . And I'm gona make everyone who can come to hospital then after two weeks at home as its a one bed accommodation lol
  • I had this conversation with dh the other day.With our first I had visitors just after delivery,I felt horrendous,I was swollen up like a balloon from a prolonged second stage,had catheter in from instrumental,felt awful and just felt totally uncomfortable with in laws there.I said I didn't realise how bad it would be first time or I would've said then but this time I only want dh and dd,and if he insists then mil can come as can my parents but I'd rather that waited til the next day and everyone else waited until we were home.

    I was in hospital for 5 days last time and I know people are keen to come and see baby but I really could've done without it I just felt vulnerable and exposed and while they're lovely people I am not close enough to them to have them around at that stage.

    DH was lovely about it so hopefully he feels the same about it after the delivery!
  • Def stand your ground - although I realise its a bit rich coming from me as my MIL listens to nothing I say!



    I hope you can get your OH on side - it would make it much easier for you in the long term



    Failng that could you get your midwife to explain to your OH (or you could tell him about a conversation you've had with her) that its "not recommended" for anyone to visit a new mother post op except her immediate family. If he questions why your mum can come explain that you'll need help with certain women's things that your mum can do for you. hopefully that will freak him out enough but if he offers to help, tell him its appreciated but you don't want to run the risk of puttng him off you.



    REally hope you can get him on side but however you do it, you need to do whats best for you.

    Pix x
  • She had her baby 3yrs ago!
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