I'm doing a real life wife swap lol

Not in the sexual sense for all you dirty minded ladies out there lol
Basically my oh's sil is a right lazy cow! They had a little girl 5 months ago and since then she basically does nothing. She has been pestering my bil to move house, so to keep her happy they moved right next door to her mum and sisiter, having to increase their mortgage by a furthur ??60,000 and then she decided to tell him the day they moved in that she wasnt going back to work after maternity finishs (5th July) He now works every hour god send to pay for this house and she basically sit son her arse! You might think with a baby to look after she would be busy but she gets baby sitters all the time, does no house work, doesn't cook (we went round the other day and his bro was eating fairy cakes dipped in gravy, after doing a 14 hour shift, cause he was too tired to cook) She was having tea at her mums,as she does every day. Oh and she has now decided she is going to have weekends off (i.e he has to have the baby all weekend) How the f##k do you have time off with a baby? their not a pet! Well anyway his bro has been with her so long he doesnt know any different, so his mum after getting really upset and angry at how ill and with drawn her son is, has asked me if i would swap places with her for a few days to show his bro when life should be like. Don't get me wrong i'm not old fashioned but i do think that if your oh (male or female) is working alot you should cook them a meal and stuff when they get home. My oh is pretty pampered i must admit but thats my own choice. Anyway what do you think? obviously i will be coming home at the end of the day (i'll kill her if my house is a mess when i get home lol)


  • Must be hard for you to watch my brother has same problem,ive watched him turn from a good looking happy popular bloke to a fat withdrawn older than his years mess. they have 4 kids now but right from the start she hasnt doen anything, she gets her nan who is about a million years old to do her washing. the house he lives in he bought when he was 19 so now has no mortgage. but its all in his name. he has a great job and works vlong hours and she wants him tomove. i think she gonna get this new expensive house then throw him out. why should she have one if she does nothing to maintain it. she is a miserable bitch aswell. i think its a good idea u doing this but dont stress yourself out about it. just tell her she's a selfish lazy bitch and walk away leaving her house sparkling. xxx
  • Don't worry i intend to lol
    Like your brother i think he has just got so used to it, he's only 26 but has been with her for 10 years so never known anything different. My oh has sat him down and said that he is in the same situation my oh was in before he met me. He was with his ex wife from being 15, they got married when he was 23 and she basically did nothing but run debts up. She left him the year later after having an affair and left him in a right state financially. When i got with him he couldnt believe what life could be like. Don't get me wrong im not super women but my house is always clean and our son is well looked after and my oh is always fed when he's done a long shift at work. We've been together for 6 years now and have a lovely home and fmaily. I just feel so sorry for his brother as he's such a lovely lad, he actually broke down in tears the other day, because she was having a go at him for not providing enough money for them (with a massive mortgage and a single income, how is he meant to) oh god she drives me mad!!
  • OMG-I cant believe that, your making me feel slightly guilty now though. Oh went to work an hour earlier this morning and I had every intentions of cleaning the house before he got back but I only woke up at 5 to 12. But ill def have it done, just possibly not as much as Id hoped (theres a lot to sort out into differnt rooms at the moment)
    But I think thats a great idea, I hope your BIL manages to realise he deserves better treatment then that xxxxx


  • Your making me feel guilty now as well!! However I can't cook (honestly I can't) so I don't have a meal on the table when he walks in through the door.... But I do his washing, the dishes and clean the bathroom, feed & walk the dogs etc etc

    I believe its about equal partnership though and we share the chores I've listed above, we both work full time so why is it that the wife is expected to do all the wife'y things? Sorry if I sound defensive, just made me think and I do feel guilty that perhaps I don't do enough.... But then we share this house!!

    [Modified by: MrsT on May 31, 2008 12:39 PM]
  • I don't think in any way that it should be the womens job. My oh has he's own jobs in the house that he does and if i don't feel like doing something then i simply don't do it. I do think that if one of you is going out to work full time and the other is at home then they should take on some more responsibility with the house work ect....(weather it be the male or female)
    I've just finished work (taking 6 weeks annual leave before my maternity) and to be honest i've done alot more since i finished, as i get so bored.
    x x
  • God she sounds like a right lazy bitch speckle! Good on you for helping to show your bil this. Like you when I was working full time me and oh sort of shared all the housework as we both went to work and came home together, but since I have finished work I do 90% of it. Although oh is always saying that he dosen't expect me to do it and that I should take it easy, like you I would just get bored and must admit its nice having a clean tidy house all the time! God knows what it will be like when lo arrives though! Tammi xxx
    2 wks to go!!!
  • Speckle, I agree she does sound very lazy & selfish and i'm all for you opening your BILeyes but once he realised what's he going to be able to do about it? If he pushes her will she change? or could it all go wrong? thats my only concern.
  • this is a tricky situation...definatley agree doing something to help him,,,,, but is it not just letting her get away with being a lazy cow??? and she really does seem to be a completely selfish lazy cow!!!! maybe you could invite him round for dinner afer work so he gets a good feeding??? maybe she will get fed up with being on her own in evening and it will shock her into doing something?? does she have an excuse for her laziness???? are there any other family members who can speak to her???
  • They don't spend any time together at night, she goes to her mums while he has the baby. My oh rang him today to ask if he would help us move some heavy stuff in the garden, he turned up but had the baby with him. When i asked where her mum was, he said she was too busy to have her (today is his only day off) so i ended looking after her. I didnt know you could have busy days when your a mum. Fair enough having a few hours to yourself, but she takes the piss! The only thing i want to do when my oh is off is spend time as a family. How she ever got pregnant in the first place is beyond me. I'm not sure what will happen with them, the last thing i want is for them to split up, more than anything i just want to give him a break and for her to see how lucky she has it with him. Shes like a mum who lives the single life. God she annoying!
  • does he feel down by situation??? do you think he really wants to be with her??? has he ever lost his temper with her??? if he hasnt he is a saint!
  • No he is so placid its unbelieveable! He rang my other half the other day saying that he had had enough and he feels like he is constantly letting her and their daughter down cause she is always saying he doesnt provide enough. He does bring in a good wage and he works every hour god sends, but obviously like i've said they have just gone from a 2 bed,2 full time wages coming in and no children, to 5 months later they have a daughter, just bought a 3 bed semi and shes quit work (what does she expect?)
    I dont think i have ever seem him without their daughter, he constantly has her, but surely they should be spending some time together as a family?
    I must admit it helps me though cause my mil thinks i'm a saint lol as she only has 2 boys and im the total opposite!
    I do think that it will all blow up soon though, as i think my mil has had enough of seeing her son so down. She usuallly bites her lip and doesnt say anything to his other half but think shes taking it to far now! x
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