The horror that is child birth :S



  • lol itmustbelove! ur msgs crack me up!! yeah it's like inside the vagina but not really far in just like uh i dunno how to explain it!! i still have it downloaded on my iplayer i might have another look! it's hard to describe! its not ur bumhole though dont worry! i agree, my oh doesnt go anywhere near that cos he gets a swift smack round the back of the head if he tries!! xxx
  • ok i'm watching it again (addictive i swear) and the massage thing is supposed to be done along the back (or bottom if ur lying down) of the vagina, in a "U" shape like ur pushing the skin towards the anus but u dont have to actually touch it lol does that make sense? jesus, i'll be a right little know it all by the time of the birth!! i'll be shoving off the midwife going "shut up i know what i'm doing i've SEEN the videos!!" haha dear lord help me!!! xxx
  • Caz, i must agree with you - i feel like a big frump at the moment - need a pamper day or something!! Feel like i've "let myself go"!!!
    I did hold my friends 2week old baby once, but i felt very nervous & awkward! Hope to god it all comes naturally!! My DH reckons i'll be fine tho - glad he's confident!!
    This sounds stupid ladies, but one thing i'm nervous about is having a poo when pushing - i've no doubt that you couldnt care less when in the midst of giving birth, but its just the thought of it - think i would die of embarressment!! LOL
    Sarah xx
  • hey sarah, me too im totally terrified of that!! i cant poo while my partners in the flat let alone in front of people!! my auntie pooed while she was having her first 2 years ago and our whole family still call the baby gunk boy lol i know thanks to karma it's going to happen to me!! xxx
  • Thanks Sandy believe me I will be asking for pain relief lol

    I am totally scared of pooing myself too Rhiannon ha ha! now this is going to sound ridiculous but I will tell you anyway. I made my husband sit in the bathroom with me the other day while I had a poo just so I could work out how horrifying it was lmao and the only awful thing about it was the plopping noise it made lol well I figure while I'm giving birth there will be no plopping therefore I'm trying not to worry about poo. I have just read that paragraph back and it seems I might be going crazy.

    Sarah - i think a pamper day is in order too my mum took me out shopping on sat and bought me loads of stuff to wear so I look smart rather than looking like a tramp which I had resorted to doing lol.

  • Oh gaaawd! I thought it was a myth about pooping during labor! Nooooooooooooo O_O

  • nope it's not a myth image the dr told me 80% of women poop themselves whilst giving birth so there is a high chance I will do it arghhhhhh!!

    Dignity is completely lost!!!

  • CazA I am laughing so loudly at you sitting in the bathroom with your dh while you did your thing! What did your dh say? I bet he was dying to laugh...... I'm cracking up thinking of the scenario.

    Ladies, it's not compulsory to poo - some may, some may not. If it happens, chances are you will not even notice - you'll be too busy concentrating on pushing and the midwives are very quick to clean up excess mess without making an announcement to the world, so your oh's need never know!

    As my friend (who is a mw) says 'we like poo'! Apparently it's good cos it means lo is on it's way imminently!
  • Karen - I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous doesn't it lol at first I think he thought I was into some weird sexual stuff and that I got off on him watching me poo ha ha ha!! but then I explained and he agreed to do it and all he said "you told me ladies poo smelt like roses, well I'm telling you now that did not!!"

  • lol - oh i love this topic! but i really hope that i dont poo my self i think id be horrified!! how will OH EVER find me attractive again... bucket fanny who poo's herself! Oh god! why dont you know this stuff BEFORE you get pregnant! haha i doubt that it would of stopped me - but all that work making the illusion i'm a beautiful lady - once pregnacy later and ive let my self go and turned into a doubblely incontinant saggy pus! lol

    He must love me haha!
  • CazA, you are absoultely off your rocker! I can't even begin to think what my oh would say if I told him to sit in the bathroom and watch me poo!
    I really don't think that actually giving birth is as bad as watching someone else do it. With Millie I used my tens and gas and air and had dimorphine. By the time she arrived the last dose of dimorphine had totally worn off, I had an episiotomy, two ventouse attempts and a high rotational forceps delivery because she was back to back and got stuck. I am still alive! Although it really did hurt quite alot at the time it was so quickly forgotten that by the next day I couldn't really remember what it felt like! It can't have been that bad or I certainly wouldn't be doing it again. lol
  • Bedhead I think I might be off my rocker too I have read back this thread and truely find myself revolting lol but I felt I needed to cover all possibilities image luckily me and dh are very open with each other (we would have to be if i was going to get him to watch me poo). I still don't understand how he finds me attractive but hey ho as long as he does I'm happy image

    It must be love - you won't have a bucket fanny hun it will go straight back to normal I promiseimage and you def won't poo yourself, my mum announced in the car this afternoon that she had episiotomy's with both me and my brother and she is still very "tight" as she put it (to my disgust) and she is nearly 176 years old now so it can't all be bad.

  • hi there, i'm so intrigued now after reading all your posts !!! lol, where do i find this birthing video ?

  • hey girlies,

    oh my god i have not laughed so hard in soooo long!! you are such a loon caz!! but weirdly your idea made sense to me and i think i might do the same with my oh lol i can just imagine his face!! i might ask him tonight just for fun!! karen, as discreet as the midwives might be, my partner would definitely notice and would never ever let me forget it!! even if i didnt notice i'd done it he'd be there shouting "oh my god!!! its a floater!!!" he's such a lad lol

    thanks for cheering me up ladies, you absolute bunch of nutters!!

  • lol i breifly thought about getting OH to watch me poo after you suggested it lol but i'm soooo consitpated not only would he get board waitting (not forgetting him compeletly being discusted) me crying how it hurts might fightern him off for the real event! haha

    Rhiannonmofford - lol this site is great you can be as honest (graffic) as you need to be and everyone else is the same! lol glad your laughting at me ... cause sometimes i read them back and think oh god look at that - lol haha can believe i shared that!
  • lmao.

    I'm glad I made you smile Rhiannon it proves I am good for something lol.

    Def ask your oh to watch you poo but rather than telling him the truth tell him it is because it turns you on lol and watch his face! my dh thought that was why I was asking him until I told him the actual reason and his face was a picture.

    Bettyboop - I think it is on BBC iPlayer it was originally on bbc three and is called "dawn gets a baby"

    My hubby would be likely to point out that I had pooed myself and say something highly amusing like "look she shit herself ha ha ha ha!!" being the grown up responsible adult he is he would then wait until we were out of hospital and tell everyone and then wait until baby was older and say "did you know your mum pooed herself when giving birth to you, isn't she gross??" and then my son and husband may spend the rest of thier lives reminding me that I pooed myself (might be over exaggerating slightly but wanted to make a point lol)

  • My dearest other half told me a while back that women poop during labor, and I told him no waay, he s bullshitting, and then I found out here that it s true!!!

    And I told him yesterday that it is - and he said 'I told you so!' and laughed like a maniac :P:P And said if I poop during labor, he ll call me poop paste, and then I hit him :P We had a riot, was so hilarious, hahaha

    I told him that if he makes fun of me I ll make him stand at the end of the bed when I give birth, not at the head ...
    Hahah, I love my oh, we just click off so well :P
  • Your messages have been making me giggle too!!!
    I don't think i could bring myself to let dh to watch me poo b4 lo pops out! But am gonna suggest it just to see his face!!
    I got him to watch the programme last nite on iplayer - he did not bat an eyelid! But its has encouraged him to agree to a water birth, which i'm v pleased at!
    Sarah xx
  • Hi Sarah def get oh to watch you poo it's quite funny. but you have to make it a lady like one and not a pregnancy related constipation one where you have to pull faces and cry a bit.

    Glad he agreed to a water birth I am going to try a hypnobirth and if that fails I'm going with a drug fuelled birth where I am numb from the neck down lol.

  • i watched dawn gets a baby and oddly found it very reassuring - at least i know what to expect and the women looked so happy afterwards.
    readin this thread is sooo funny - its defo cheered me up from been the overemotional, grumpy git bag that my fella runs to the hills to get away from!!lol. xxx
Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions