Big Decision **UPDATE**

Hi girls, (have also posted in due in july forum)

I really need yer help

Me and hubbie were talking last night and we now kinda wanta know what sex our baby is image

So the question is WHAT DO WE DO image

i know its up to us in the end but we were saying that it will save us having to buy any more neutral clothes, we will be able to pick a few names and we can buy sheets/blankets/grobags wardrobes in the colour of the baby.

How did ye decide what was best for ye that have decided to find out/not and have already found out. Any advise will be sooooooooooooooooooooooo appreciated. Sorry if this is hard to understand

Thanks in advance.


Well girls,

For starters i just want to say a BIG HUGE THANK YOU image to all of ye for telling us ur opinion on this topic. It has help us to make up our minds by giving us both sides of the arguement.

As i'm typing this our little babs is doing summersaults in my stomach. :lol: image

Just had a talk and we've decided to

FIND OUT WHAT SEX THEY BABY IS :\) :\) :\) image image (we are telling none of our family what it is)

Now the only problem is, do we ask the consultant on the 4th of march (who i don't think will tell us, but not sure) or our amazing GP on the 16th of march :\?


[Modified by: cha and bump on 16 February 2009 14:34:45 ]


  • i have found out with all 4 of mine, i think it does help woth the bonding process well it did for us anyways, once a name was chosen thats what we call our bump i think it also helps when buying baby stuff too xx
  • thanks sooooo much for ur comments girls.
    just to add that if we do find out that we are not telling any of our family as mine would disapprove of us finding out, and the hubbies don't want to know until its born.

    keep coming with ur comments please girls.

    thanks again

  • We didnt find out the sex of our first daughter and havent this time either, i thought about the pros...picking a name, and buying pink or blue...but at the end of the day, thats it and i mean when the bab y is born you will probs want to go out and buy a few new thing anyway for size etc so can get pink or blue then, you dont ned tons of pink or blue for the first couple of weeks anyway and as for name picking you have gone 20 weeks thinking of both sex names so whats another 20?!?
    its so special having that massive suprise at the end after all the hard work and being able to look at your baby and find out the sex for yourself rather than some stranger in a tiny room tell you when your laying on a bed with your top up.
    I think if you dont know the sex you still have something big to look forward to which will keep you going towards the end when your getting fed up etc, you know around the date its going to be born and if you know the sex too then it doesnt leave anything exciting (obviously the birth will be) but not know the sex makes it even better.
    everyon is different though and this is just my opinion.

  • I always agreed with PrincessSarah, about the having something big to look forward to. But then I talked to my mum about it last week (hubby has been pushing me to allow us to find out). She said that when the day comes, just meeting your baby is going to be huge enough that knowing the sex isn't going to make a difference, she said finding out earlier will give you a nice surprise half way through.
    When she said that I changed my mind lol.
  • its such a hard choice!!!!!!! everyone has a good arguement put forward (help)

  • Argh I wish I hadn't read this post lol! I'm more confused than ever! From the beginning I told hubby I wanted to wait and have the suprise at the end. He wants to find out but will go along with my choice. This last week I have been finding myself thinking I that I might ask at the scan. I think curiosity has just found me! Don't know what to do! Sorry I have been no help at all! xxx

    Cat 15 weeks

  • i really know how u are feeling it is just such a hard choice isn't it?

  • Hi, we didn't find out with Neve and I have to say it was an amazing moment when my husband told me she was a girl, however its an amazing moment anyway - regardless of wether you knew before or not. I am in two minds about finding out this time but if we do then we won't tell anyone that we did.
  • cha and bump- If you do find out do you think you will be able to keep it a complete secret. I thought about doing this myself but I know I'd end up telling my best friend, hubby would then tell his best mate and it would end up with everyone knowing! xxx

    Cat 15 weeks
  • I found out with my son and this time (its a girl) but im doing it coz i wont be able to afford to go out when shes born and buy all pink then so im doing it in lil bits now when i can afford it and it was the same with my son also, and im very impatient lol Gemma 23+1
  • I would have to keep it a secret as my family would REALLY disapprove of us finding out!! :evil:
    As it is i have bought a few neutral clothes ;\) and have hidden them in my house so that no one can see that i have bought them, as they keep say its too early to be buying anything, which has in return made me feel like something will happen. i've even had a little cry about it to my hubbie. :cry:
    the reason we are buying little things now like milton/babywipes/nappy sacks etc is that we live in ireland and don't get paid from work for maternity (the state gives us maternity benefit of ???????200 :roll: ) and we won't have much money to be buying everything at the end!!!!

    Don't get me wrong my family are brillent and have offered us help with childcare and my sis is even giving me her cot/moses basket etc.

    Plus it might be nice to keep something that special between us (i hope)
    Still haven't made my mind up yet so as i said GIRLS KEEP POSTING :\) ;\)

  • Completley understand families giving you grief. I found out with my son and my mum nearly stopped speaking to me! She said she didn't want to know so not speak about the baby around her! I ended up just shouting "it's a boy" She was fine after that, and was really happy as she had three 3 girls. I think it's just an irish thing and their supersticions lol. I'll be in Ireland myself next month so my nan will be pelting me with holy water everytime I move!
    I think it would be a lovely secret for just the two of you! xxx

  • LOL mummycat ur sooo right about the irish thing.

    Have u bought anything for ur babs yet?

  • No not yet, mainly because I have most things we need kept from my son. I know if I find out the sex I'll still go spending mad on baby bits so it's probably a safer for the purse strings option to let it be a suprise! xxx

    Cat 15 weeks
  • i didnt want to find out but hubby did. in the end we found out the sex at the 20 week scan. i was sooooooooo glad i did. i was so pleased it was a girl and it was nice to think of what type of character she would have, who she would look like. i felt like i really bonded with her more. i was nice to buy for her as well.
    when she was born, it was just amazing!! i finally got to meet my girl.

  • thanks disodiva.

  • i am on to my third and each of these have been a surprise. i did think about finding out on this one(3rd) but i likethe surprise at the end of the day and there is not many surprises left in life now - i also look upon it is that it gives me something extra in labour to think for and push that wee bit harder cause by that time i know i will have the answer. When is your scan - how long have you got to think about it and does your hospital definately tell you as not evry hospital has a policy that they will.

    suzi 33+3
  • Well, with two weeks (or so) to go, we haven't found out and I am really, really glad that we haven't. I don't think it has affected bonding (either mine or my husband's) at all. Small thing is small thing, with a definite personality which clearly transcends its sex. That is who we are bonding with and either way we will be over the moon.

    As far as clothing goes, I actually quite like buying things in neutral and probably would have done so anyway. I loathe baby pink with a passion, and won't dress a daughter of mine it it if I can avoid it if small thing turns out to be a girl. That being said, I have bought sweaters in navy blue and brick red and my mother, mother-in-law and I have knitted items in green, yellow and brown, as well as cream with various trims (red, peach, lavender). Again, I will probably stick with non-gender-specific colours even after the birth. But that, of course, is personal preference.

    Oh, and we have a name for either eventuality - and we haven't told anyone what they are either! image

    In the end I think it is very much a personal choice for you and your oh. Good luck, whatever you decide.
  • Hello,

    Prior to my 20 week scan, hubby and I really didn't know whether to find out or not as curiosity was really getting to us.

    We didn't find out am now I am really glad we didn't. We have bought a few neutral clothes but think that people will buy us so much stuff following the birth that we haven't gone mad. We have had a couple of friends offer us boy and girl clothes to so thnk we pretty much have both sexes covered when it comes to clothing.

    I think it is half the fun picking a boy name and a girl name and waiting for that special moment whne we find out what sex it is. Just think that if you find out the sex at the birth at least you can be 100% sure that they are correct.

    A friend of mine found out the sex beforehand and ended up having a C section so she knew what sex, her name and when she was arriving. She told us that it took all the surprise out of it and wishes she hadn't found out. That helped to convince us.

    I also saw a programme where a midwife was saying that sometimes if you know the sex, maybe you can bond too much and all the worries are magnified as your bump already has a name and personality in your head. I thought that was quite an interesting theory that I hadn't heard before.

    Also, I always felt that it would be like opening my xmas presents early if I found out!!

    It is a very personal decision though that only you can make, so I hope you are happy with whatever you decide. At the end of the day, it won't be a disappointment so try not to worry about it too much!!

  • Personally, I think that the day you meet your baby will be special whether yoy know the sex or not, and it's nice to get a suprise in the middle!

    My mum and DH have definately bonded with the baby a lot more since we found out it was a girl. I think it ie easier for them to imagine her being here, and somehow it makes it all a lot more real. Don't think it made as much difference to me, as it's easier for me to get to know her personsonality anyway.

    If you still don't know what to do, flip a coin - and you'll know before you look at which side it landed on, which way you want to go! (that's how I make all my big decisions!)

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