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Things you wish people had told you before your first birth!



  • Fab thread and am learning lots! I too am more scared about the after pain than the actual birth, I'm also quite scared about being on my own in the hospital and at the mercy of visiting hours. My first choice birthing centre didn't have visiting times and husbands/partners could stay over and they helped you bf etc etc but when I wanted to book in I was told that due to 'cut backs' that element was going and it's now simply a place to give birth and then they turf you out home or on to hospital if you need after care. I'm incensed that they take away these very important elements of birth. I'm sure only a man could have made that decision! Anyway rant over, once again great thread!

    oh and a question for any 'experience' mothers, my baby is due 8th Jan and it's an hour drive to the hospital, I'm worried about weather and them sending me home if I'm not far enough along - how do you know when it's time to go to the hospital??

  • LittleLyns, the 1st poo isn't that bad and I had an episiotomy! x
  • Kernow; once your contractions start/waters go I'd ring the hospital and get their advice but tell them that you're an hours drive away. They will get you in sooner and will be less likely to send you home knowing that you have a long and potentially uncomfortable drive! Especially in Jan.

    My labour went very quickly; contractions woke me at half midnight, by half 1 they were coming every 3 minutes so decided to go to hospital. 20 minute drive later and they were coming every minute!! So don't sit and wait and wonder, just go!!
  • lily-kick....really good tip on peeing i thinki i mught try using that one now get some practice in!!!! haha!!!

  • Thanks Garfield - I know it's ages away yet but I find myself getting so worried about it! The joys of living ruraly I guess!!

  • No worries, Kernow. i'm worried about the fact hubby works away through the week and takes our car with him!! Eek! If he isn't here and i go into labour it will be an ambulance job I think! Mind, I have a long way to go before that! xx
  • Good thread!

    When the mw's turn up to give you an internal, check the length of their fingernails! I had one with long finger nails, i could have kicked her in the face!!! :lol:

    That if they tell you they have to do a procedure (in my case re-align my cervix - which literally meant grabbing hold and giving it a tug) and they say "this will hurt a little" grab the gas and air cos that phrase means it's going to be agony (and I'm talking worse than all the labour put together lol).

    To tell everyone not to turn up at your house the second you're home from hospital (I seriously had people camping out on the doorstep waiting for us to get home).

    The best bit of advice i was given though, from my mum, was simply do as the mw tells you and you'll be fine!
  • This thread is so funny - the joys of childirth!

    One thing I was NOT prepared for was throwing up twice, through the transition periods! First time I was about 2cm dilated and then I threw up about half hour after the birth.
    The first poo was awful, i found peeing in the bath just before I got out really helped then moved onto holding a warm flannel down there. I've heard tilting forward helps too.
    I had no idea how to wrap dd up in a blanket on our night in hospital!! Might sound daft but when ur faced with it you may question yourslef! The midwife was great though and talked me through it.
    And yes taking the gas and air away at the final stage shocked the hell out of me! I believe I actually growled at the midwife! LOL. With the mouthpiece still between my teeth!!
  • Great responses girls, I'm sure some of us are wondering why we wanted to get pregnant now! LOL. Anyway there's loads more comments on another thread I put in baby from people who have given birth recently, one of the funny ones is that they check your bum apparently, I so didn't know that! see:

    Keep em comin ladies X
  • had a look at the other thread, feeling even more scared now and so many more things to think about now like do I really want stitches, apparantly you can refuse them!
    Wanted to ask those in the know...why do they check your bum after the birth?? xx
  • I think the thing to remember for new mums like me are that its good to be prepared, but everyone has a different experience, I'm taking things with a pinch of salt and if friends start telling me horror stories then I'd rather close my ears, better to go in a little naive.. I am open minded abou the birth bit and of course it will hurt, its the other bits I find really useful, like not to give up and feel like a failiure when you can't BF, or you feel guilty and worry all the time.. its all to be expected.

    Apparently they check your bum to see if the stitches have gone onto your anus.. hmm nice, guess you are so exausted and out of it you hardly notice! I'm trying to remain positive and also think that once baby comes all the pain evaporates as you are faced with the miracle of life and a new baby.. i know it will be hard but so worth it! CX
  • I wish some one had told me that not all infrections in your boob while brestfeeding are not just mastitis.
    When my son was six weeks old i started getting a sore boob and then felt a lump that just carried on growing over 4 weeks.
    After 2 sets of anti biotics and the doc not having a clue what it was. I lost a stone in 4 weeks was in the most pain ever.I went to a&e and they sent me to breast specialist who said i had a Galactocele.
    She then told me it was the largest she had seen, called all the students in and the other doctors in to watch her drain this thing!!
    She put a needle in my boob and drained 500 mls off my boob that had been stuck, and told me to feed my son off it on his next feed. the pain was worse that child birth.
    The next day i was brushing my teeth and felt a gush of fluid down my belly and my boob had split from the inside with the pressure.
    Still carried on breast feeding and now have a lovely scar under my boob!!!
    But he was worth it.
  • My friend had this, the doctors just said she had an infection and gave her anti-bioics, eventually they found out the problem after the first few months of agony and all the poison in her system, and drained pints of what looked like custard out.. yuck! Oh well she's fine, but the split boobie sounds absolutley horrific, you poor poor thing!
  • Still planning on breast feeding on this one thought didnt put me off, i love breast feeding to much!
  • Haven't read all the replies so apologies if I repeat anything!! Things I wish I'd known were:
    Fybogel ROCKS!!
    Huge, mahooosive granny pants are the way forward after a c-section. Oh yes!!!!
    To take some snacky food (cereal bars/choccies/pringles) into hospital with you if you end up staying in. You WILL be awake in the middle of the night and you WILL be hungry lol!!
    That it's fine to tell visitors when you've had enough and want them to go.
    That putting pressure on the wound if you have a c-section helps when you need to laugh, cough or poo!
    That you'll spend hours and hours and hours just marvelling at how perfect and gorgeous your baby is. Ahhhhhhh I miss the early baby days
  • They have to check if they've stitched your bum :O :O OMG someone remind me why I wanted to get pregnant... :lol:

    and boobs splitting open has actually made me heave at the thought, it really sounds horrendous!!
    I'm hoping for a labour like the movie stars have, few screams, babies here within 2 pushes and I'm back to normal the next day looking better than ever image what are my chances?? :lol:
  • hahahahaha!! Huni you are so funny, no no no, they don't stitch your bum up, they check that the other stitches have not stitched your anus.. if you look on the other thread over on baby, there were a few ladies saying about the checking of the posterior!! I too wish I could have a movie star birth, however us mere mortals have to go through the motions without private care! image
  • I have a few, don't think they've been mentioned?

    1) I wish someone had told me that babies get thirtsy?? I had no idea?? I thought they were drinking when they BF or FF, but nooooo! My DD was crying and I couldn't work out why, when another mum said, maybe she's thirsty?? I asked the MW for some cool boiled water and sure enough, she drank it and stopped crying?? Weird?? :\)

    2) I hated that the MW's assume you know everything and laugh at you for asking 'silly' questions. I was on the ward, it was the morning after the birth and I needed to have a shower. I didn't know what to do with my baby. It seemed wrong to just leave her in the cot by my bed, so I called for the MW. I asked her 'will you look after my baby whilst I shower' and she laughed at me! She said; just leave her where she is. I said someone might pinch her or swap her, (Did they realise just how beautiful my baby was!!) and the MW then called over another MW and proceeded to tell the story as they piss themselves laughing at me! In the end I was insistent, and said I wouldn't leave her, so they wheeled my daughter in her cot down to the little glass room next to the nurses' station. I had my shower and collected her on the way back! How dare they!! :evil:

    3) Midwives don't know everything. (2nd baby) -I'm ready to push now' -Your not ready to push, you're only about 6cm' -Please listen to me, I'm ready to push' -No your not, you just need a poo' -Well it's a bloody big poo then' -please just trust us' -please listen to me' -For goodness sake, let's take a look...... Oh yes I can see baby's head' -Told you!!!' Arrgghh! :x image

    4) Pethadine can make you vomit and if you wretch and vomit you might also wee at the same time :lol:

    5) BTW: Not everyone has stitches or tears. I had a 7lb 12oz baby first time, my second was 9lb 2oz and I didn't tear with either, just a bit of grazing that stung when I wee'd. Having a poo post delivery was not a problem for me either, so don't be scared! xxx
  • How do you avoid tearing?? When do you know to hold the position and not to push too hard/fast?
  • I think you need to basically try and stop pushing when the head starts to crown Clayrebear to let the skin stretch slowly, that's why they tell you to 'stop and pant' but even then there's no guarantee you won't tear.
    I read that you can ask them to hold a warm cloth down there while the head crowns and that can help things, though I'm hoping for a water birth anyway, o and your massages before you go into labour can stretch the skin abit to.

    :lol: ooo that makes more sense about the bum checking thing now, I was thinking to myself 'well no wonder it's sore to do a poo after if chances are they've sewed up your bum' :O :lol::lol:
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