Have had a massive fight with my hubby and he has left! It was a really physical fight now i am scared for this little one inside of me. Its only 9 and a half weeks. Feeling really scared and alone right now all my family is 200 miles away and I dont know what to do! MIL


  • I am really sorry

    Don't really have any advice but didn't want you to feel alone
    Am here if you want to talk

  • Cant go to see them - hes left me with no money! Am scared if i leave the house he will come and take everything. It was really nasty - from both sides. Theres no going back. Only been married since August!!!! They say it changes some people dont they. Sorry am on a real downer and got a flat full of glass to clear up. The MIL has already phoned and had a go at me!! Precious boy can do no wrong. Am a single mum again! God knows what am gonna tell my 6 yr old. Hubby been like a dad to him for over 3 years now. Waffling, sorry
  • Do you have a friend or a family member who could come over and help you out? If you are really worried about what he could do then you ought to get some advice from the police, especially if it was physical fight the first time.
    If you call your GP and explain they may even come and do a home visit to check you are ok.

    I know this is a really difficult time for you but try not to focus too much on the long term future and concentrate on getting through each day instead. You will get through this and be ok and you have all of us to talk to when you are feeling down.

    Liz x
  • bless you i hope everythings ok for you. i used to be in a violent relationship and its very hard to deal with. does your local council run any help for domestic violence?? im sure your mw would know. good luck xxx
  • oh hun im so sorry he sounds like an idiot and your better off without him, i would ring your docs and they will come out to you explain you cannot leave the house they will understand your doc can also give you info on support groups for domestic violence and single mums i would also contact the police and get an injunction out on him then he cannot come anywere near you your child or your house i have a friend who has been through a similar things so i know a little bit about it if you are really worried he will come back and hurt you the police will install a alarm that goes straight to your nearest police station
    we are all here for you hun you have the strengh inside to do this and you will come out better at the end of this hun.

  • so sorry hun, i wld ring mw baby is prob fine as is well protected in there, but if he hs hit u in stomache best to get checked and put ur mind at rest, my ex was very aggressive so i know how u must be feeling right now hun,if he behaved like this while u r preggers who knows how it wld have been when lo arrives so prob for the best that he has gone, its hard to suddenly find urself single when preggers, but its not all bad hun, my last prenancy was hard coz i felt i was always walking on eggshells,trying to protect my baby and trying not to wind him up! this time im more relaxed and happy as he aint here, kids do feel the strain of a volotile relationship so u might find ur 6yr old feels better/safer (cant find right word) without the rows, my older kids are much happier now, though i didnt notice how it affected them at the time.
    if he does come back and u feel threatened in any way ring police hun,please dont put ur self or ur baby and son at risk over a few household things,
    as liz b said we r always here if u need to chat. xxx
  • thank you everyone! trying to find strength right now to do anything. am so hurt, angry, and seems like every other emotion under the sun!
  • stay strong hun you can do this and you have all of us for support

  • No useful help or advice but thinking of you x

    Kirst3 seems to have some very good strong advice
  • Doesn't matter how far our parents are or how much grief we get off our parents in the long run they will want to know your safe and sound - so if I were you Id call them and get the next train, plane, bus whatever it takes to get out of there and at least then your away from any danger and have time to think about what you need and feel.

    The cheapest way to travel if your strapped for cash is National Express and they have depots in every town / city. For example you can get single tickets from London to Newcastle for 9 pound. You should check with them. They have a website.

    Its such an emotional time at the best of times - never mind when this kind of thing happens. My partner of five years left me two days after finding out we were pregnant, he was never violent but the first thing I did was turn to my mother and went to her house for a while, parents just want to make sure we are ok.. no place like home I always say xxxx

    Good luck pet xx Allison
  • my mum died 3 yrs ago! my dad isnt coping well! he was so proud on my wedding day dont want to see the hurt on his face!!!! have got 2 brill mates up here who have sorted me out with benefits and stuff and one is looking after my son over night but am hurting soo much at the moment cant think straight. am trying to be strong and have spoken to hubby but he seems to feel he has done nothing wrong! it was physical but he says "he was restraining me!" i know i gave as good as i got but he cannot see he did anything wrong. Restraint is not pinning someone down with your hand over there mouth and pulling their hair out! he has never shown any violent tendencies before but he knows i have been in violent relationships and wont put up with crap. am gonna do this by myself! have had no bleeding so think little one is ok but there is an open midwife clinic tomorrow and i am going to see if they can hear h/beat! dont know if they could at 9 wks and 4 days but am really really hoping so! MIL has given me shit - her blue eyed boy wouldnt do anything wrong so it has to be my fault. why is it always the womans fault?
  • dont take any crap from MIL. She should be worrying abotut you and baby and not her little boy...total shit!!!!!!! dont talk to her and put phone down if you do and then she starts on you. She has no right.
    firstly, you need to sort out that you and baby are OK?? then, you need to do the more practical things. Seek help from CAB..they can advise on benefits, a lawyer and what you can claim for the here and now.
    You poor thing. One thing to note though is my OH and I met when i was 17, At 22 we married and for the first 6 months I could have quite easily buried his chopped up remains under the patio. It does take some adjusting. You say no going back but maybe meet somewhere neutrel and talk things through. We say and do things in the heat of an argument but we dont always mean them.
    he should not have got physical though. Even if you threw the first punch he should have walked away..sorry but thats my view.
    good luck and look after yourself
    d xxx
  • Thanks to everybody for their kind words and support. My head is quite painful now so am gonna try and sleep it off. Think will go to CAB in the morning. My dad is going to pay my petrol money so I can stay with him for the school christmas holidays. MIL is up then so further I am away from home the better. Defo going to midwife clinic tomorrow to check on little one. Decided if its a girl going to call her Patsy (my mum was Pat) he wanted a different name but suppose its my choice now. Will I have to let him come to anti natel with me? Really dont want anything to do with him! Any advice on that would be helpful.
  • hun, its your body, your pregnancy so u dont have to have him go to any anti natel visits.he cant do anything about it and anyhow he should have been thinking of baby before he got aggressive,bit late to start giving a shit now.
    hope u manage to get some sleep/rest hun things always seem much worse when ur tired and stressed. spending xmas with ur dad sounds a very good idea too, and patsy is a lovely name btw.
    take care of ur self hun. xx
  • just to let you know - started aching all over and getting pains. had no blood but saw a doctor who sent me to a & e. They have booked me in for a scan at 12pm tomorrow to check little one is ok. Fingers crossed x
  • Hope everything goes ok at the scan, will be thinking of you.

    L xx
  • Good luck - we're all thinking of you. Have you got someone you can take with you for support? xxx
  • Thinking of you, I really hope your scan goes well today. xxxx

  • I guess I can speak of experience. I have known my bf for nearly 7 months now. I'm 14 weeks. We also had a physical fight. But he only threatened me.He nver hit me. He told me to leave his house. My family is all in another country.

    But he was very apologetic and was very upset with himself for speaking to the mother of his child the way he did. I'm not saying call him over and make ammends. I dont think any man should lift a finger to a woman let alone a pregnant one.

    But you will find comfort in family and close friends. I wish you luck

  • hope all goes well at the scan hun, ill be thinking of u. xx
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