i dont think he is ready........

hi girls,

last night when me and oh were in bed getting ready to go to sleep we were talking about baby etc and he said to me about going on hol, basicly my mum has recently brought a flat in egypt on a new resort so we can go anytime and we only have to pay for our flights and easyjet have started flying there so really cheap, anyway he wants to go december time just b4 xmas but i said i would not take a baby there as its really really hot and the water is dodgy and our baby would only be 6 months old then he said we could go and leave baby here i said no way i could leave my new baby and go on hol plus i dont think we will have the money anyway as i will be on maternity pay.

then he said that he would go without me!!!!! and leave me at home on my own with the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i was shocked that he would do this!!!!
i said to him r u serious????
he said yh its my money i can do what i want with it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
then he said why r u getting the hump??????
i really think he is showing his age now im 26 he is 22
so now im left thinking he is not ready to be a dad. he has not offered to buy anything proper for the baby yet im paying for my flat to be decorated at the end of the month and im going to buy all the baby clothes we need also, my mum is buying the pram my dad is buying the cotbed and his mum is buying all the lil bits n pieces we will need, so what is he gonna buy?????
nothing im guessing!!!!!! he can be quite selfish and lazy i just thought with our little baby on her way he would grow up and take to his new responsabilities (sp?)

what do u think girls?????

Posts

  • Hi hun.
    I reckon that you'll find that once the baby is born things will be very different indeed. Before I had my baby I was planning a hol. Baby would've been 10 months old and I was planning leaving it at home with my parents while me and oh went away for a wk. YEAH RIGHT. My lo is now 14 months and I've never even left him overnight lol.
    I don't think anyone knows how they're gonna feel until the baby is here. I wouldn't make too much fuss for now he's prob just getting a bit scared and wanting to assert his independence. I'm sure things will be just perfect for you when the baby comes.
    xxxx
  • yh thats why i havent pushed it whenever he has said stuff like this as i think when the baby is here he will change his mind well fingers crossed anyway
  • i do know how you feel. Although my partner is 31 this is his first and my third. He is still looking at unpractical cars and spending money on tattoos and going out getting drunk! He doesn't talk much about the baby and thinks his family are going to buy things so we dont have to spend. He is also quite lazy and doesnt help me anymore than before even though I am 25 weeks and finding things harder. I do everything for my kids and he doesn't help because they are mine! We all live together and are a family I dont think he has adjusted yet.

    I do hope it is just nerves and they will change when the baby arrives. I am sure they will become more responsible and realise what hard work it is. Bare with it, like me and i'm sure things will be fine.
  • My other half has been giving me quite a bit of money monthly since I have got pregnant... but we have been together 5 and a half years and never moved in together so that we could have two holidays a year, go out for meals when ever we wanted, go out partying, weekends away, buy things as we desiered...

    He does earn a good wage and is giving me money and has been right from the start.. but I honestly think he still feels that his income is disposable where as in 8 weeks time when my contract finishes I am going to be compleatly dependant upon him, he will have to pay for the up keep of our cars, were moving in together and have to buy EVERYTHING!, my clothes are starting not to fit, the baby will need things to, the house will have to be decorated just everything...

    I am a natural worrier and better at budgeting, I am also very independant and I suspose I just have to trust he will do the best he can with the skills that he has got, with some help from me...

    He DJ's in his spare time and I do get upset when he spends ??30 on one record and try's to justify it! but as my mum says he his intitled to have some recreational money and its better he buys a few records than spends it down the pubs or god knows where!

    I think its just about coming to a balance between you... lol when i work out (if i do) i'll be back to share lol xx
  • hmm... iw as worrying about this but maybe its a universal thing.

    My hubby announced we should have one last adventure holiday and up until alst week was busy planning a big holiday to japan, going white water rafting (?), climbing mountains etc when i would be 5 months pregnant...

    also having real trouble adjusting to how ill and tired i feel now etc...

    i do wonder if the real adjustment happens for them when the baby comes.. we get physical and emotional changes and preparations that we have no control over whereas they can go to work/out with mates etc and forget because their boobs don't hurt, they don't feel sick, can't drink or have a bump...

    so maybe it'll just happen when the baby gets here. though saying this i still regularly make my husband talk about how different things will be!

    maybe we need to get hold of some men who are dads already and they can talk them through it!!

    its nice to feel other people have got the same thing goign though!!
  • hmm... iw as worrying about this but maybe its a universal thing.

    My hubby announced we should have one last adventure holiday and up until alst week was busy planning a big holiday to japan, going white water rafting (?), climbing mountains etc when i would be 5 months pregnant...

    also having real trouble adjusting to how ill and tired i feel now etc...

    i do wonder if the real adjustment happens for them when the baby comes.. we get physical and emotional changes and preparations that we have no control over whereas they can go to work/out with mates etc and forget because their boobs don't hurt, they don't feel sick, can't drink or have a bump...

    so maybe it'll just happen when the baby gets here. though saying this i still regularly make my husband talk about how different things will be!

    maybe we need to get hold of some men who are dads already and they can talk them through it!!

    its nice to feel other people have got the same thing goign though!!
  • well im 26 weeks tomorrow he has read books written for guys he had felt the baby move and kick he has been to evey scan with me and every midwife appointment etc he knows what is going to happen in 3 months time HE KNOWS!!! but he still insists HIS life will carry on as normal for example he has his mates over once a week to play pro (football game) on his playstation 3 he says he will carry on doing this when the baby is here all his mates r normally here until 4-5am, we live in a 1 bedroom flat so he expects me to do all the night feeds shut away in my bedroom ITS MY DAMN FLAT!!!!! he is not on the mortgage its all mine!!!!!!!!!!!! arghhhhhhh im so damn angry he can be this selfish i just cant help thinking im gonna get sick and tired of him, he is already asking when i will be up 4 sex again after the birth???? i just told him to bugga off
  • men r really immature espcially my ex the father to my 1st n 2nd 2 be hes 20 because weve splitup hes stopped seein his daughter altogether now well thats what it feels like last time he saw her was xmas all he wants to do is spend his money on drink,fruit machines and footy matches i dnt think hes goin to bother with his son either.
  • Hmmm, looks like I'm in the same club!

    My baby is due the end of April, but my oh thinks he is going to a car show in early may...hahahhahaha!
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