What to do???

This has nothing to do with babys but....
I have just found out that my ex, (my sons dad) is seing a 14yr old girl!!! Hes 26 yrs old and this makes me sick to the stomache. I was 13 and he was 17 when we met so it doesnt suprise me. I feel sorry for this girl cos as like i did most girls that age are gullable and think its clever to go out with an older guy. But this is taking it to far!!! Hes disgusting and cant belive hes my sons dad.
Do i tell the police (which will probably not do anything!) or say something to him myself?? And do i stop my son from seing his dad? He loves his dads (god knows why cos he a plonka) but it would brake my sons heart if i stopped visits! Im going out my mind what to do, but he cant just get away with it!!!!! I wont let him. HELP please xx

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  • oh hun i am so sorry, i don't know what to say. would the police really do nothing?? it is against the law, surely they would help. but its up to you if you decide to tell them. i can not imagine how you are feeling being in that situation, take care. xxx
  • You're probably better off ringing social services as they are more likely to take it seriously as it relates to an under age child, plus it can be annoymous and it wont lead back to you, i.e upsetting your son.
  • The thing is i dont know this girls name! Would they still investigate? x
  • do you know which school she goes to or were she lives or anything?
  • The police will only do something if they can prove they are having sex, and unless the girl consents for tests to be done there is nothing they will do.

    Social Services cant really do anything either, if they say they arent doing anything together then I'm afraid there is nothing that can be done to stop them seeing each other.

    Surely her parents arent happy with the situation you would think they would step in and tell her she has not to see him
  • I have an idea were she lives but cant be to sure. And i dont know what her parents must think! I would kill him if it was my daughter.
    If no one will do anything about it hes going to get a piece of mind!! He either stops it or i will stop him from seing his son. I couldnt bare the thought of my son hanging around with his pedo dad. X
  • just an idea but maybe her parents do not know about him or at least how old he is. let us know how you get on. xx
  • I also wondered if her parents knew, and if they do then i certainly think that you should just inform social services for the sake of the girl and then you have the knowledge that you did what you could. I also think that this situation is unacceptable and would also be considering the visits your son has with him, as he is not a trustworthy or respectable role model in any way. I hope you come to to a conclusion soon, good luck and keep us posted on what you decide to do and what social services/ police say if you reprt him. Take care, this must very distressing to you xxx
  • God that is a tricky situation. I would call social services, as like you say, if he is seeing such a young girl i wouldnt think it appropriate for him to be having contact with his son! But i think the only people the police would take seriously would be the girls parents, and even then they probably wouldnt do a lot. Perhaps before you do anything, speak to him and tell him to make a choice between the child he's seeing (she is a child after all) or his son,and tell him he can't have both. If he decides to ignore you, then at least you can explain to your son (without going into too much detail) that his Dad made the decision not to see him any more, and although he would be upset it wouldnt be so bad if you just told him you werent allowing it if you see what i mean, as he wouldnt be seeing you as the bad guy. I hope you manage to get it sorted out hun, it must be awful for you. Sending you big hugs xxxxxxxx
  • I rang social services earlier and they said i need a definate name and addy for this girl before they can look into anything, which is understandable. They also advised me to get intouch with my solicitor about contact with my sons dad because the situation is seriuse!!
    Im going to have words with my boys dad sunday morning when he picks him up, am going to give him the chance to do the right thing before i take it any further. as i realy dont need this hanging over my head when i am due any day to have my baby girl.
    I hope no one else finds out about this as i live in a small village and end of the day my son got to grow up arpund here and dont want him to be known as the kid with a peder-ass dad! Cos we all know kids can be cruel. sorry to go on about it.
    Thank u for being understanding and all the advice.
    xx
  • Gem - i feel for you , you are in such a difficult position but you have done the right thing by contacting social services. This childs parents may not know the age of her boyfriend or even that she has one at all. If it was my daughter i would want to know.

    If social services say they cant do anything without name and DOB tell the police. Sex with a child under the age of 16 is an offence. Whether the child is consenting or not as the legal age limit is there for a reason. U16's are deemed not capable of consent due to age. Of course the poice would ave to prove a sexual relationship was going on but they have to start somewhere and even if you dont know the name of the girl you do know you ex partners name and this is a starting point for any investigation. You will then at least be able to say you have done the right thing. If you are concerned contact a solicitor about yours and your sons right.

    This is a difficult position for you. i hope you get through it good luck x
  • honestly hun i was in the same predicament when i was pregnant with my first son my ex hubby was seeing a fourteen year old he was 25 i topped him from seeing his son and ending up going thru a huge custody battle, so i would not advise stopping him from seeing his son could be more trouble than its worth.
  • I dont want to stop my son seing his dad cos he loves him to bits!! But like i said i cant stand the thought of my son hanging around with his pedo dad, and if shes there with them it is so wrong!! I realy dunno wat to do for best, i only want the best for my lil man. My lil boy calls her daddys friend, if only he knew. it just makes me sick thinking about it! Well am still gunna have words with him on sunday so will let u know what happens xx
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