felt so guilty yesterday

I sent my scan pic to some relatives abroad and also some friends. One was to a friend that I have know for the last 17 years and although we both have families and dont catch up that often, we always let each other know how we are getting on.

anyway, for those of you that have seen my scan pic, I think it looks like a skeleton (lol) so I sent a little joke about it in the email.

She sent a reply back shortly after saying ''thank you for showing me the pic but I think its lovely. I did have some news to share but I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago''

I sent an email back saying that I was very sorry to hear her news and If I had know I would have been more sensitive. I also asked how everyone was etc.. I havent heard back since.

I feel so guilty that there I was joking about my scan pic when her baby died.

My husband says that I didnt know and therefore shouldnt be feeling guilty but I cant help it.

I really dont want to fill her in on how im getting on now incase it upsets her and especially when its born.

what would you do?



  • for starters DON'T feel guilty, u didn't know!!!
    she might not feel up to talking to anyone yet so don't feel too bad, try ringing her to c if she does want to talk.

  • I agree, there was no way you could have known, so you mustn't feel guilty.
    If you don't hear back from her, don't assume that she is cross with you in any way, I'm sure she is very happy for you, but it might just be too raw still for her to be able to reply right now.
  • I completely understand how you feel, I did something similar. Went out for a department meal and sat next to my boss, who I generally get on really well with. He has a 2 year old son and I was asking him when are they going to have more, it's nice to have a 2 year age gap, blah blah blah, then he told me that his wife had had a miscarriage back in november. I felt awful, I really didn't know what to say!

    so you're not alone, i'm sure there's many people who have done the same thing! Don't worry, she won't blame you, you didn't know! Her lack of contact is probably more to do with her dealing with it than you!

  • I sent my friend a gushing txt about how great my 4d scan was and how she should consider having one. She was in hospital having had a miscarriage. Felt terrible. x
  • It's not your fault! really don't feel guilty.

    She feels bad because her baby died, not because of anything you did.
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