Second miscarriage and still no baby :(

I have posted this in MC support but wondered if anyone had a story with a happy ending to help me see the light (if only a glimpse) at the end of the tunnel..............thanks

I have just returned from the hospital to have been told that the bleeding I have experienced (and horrific pains) were due to another miscarriage.

I had a MMC in Oct and didn't carry this through to a full MC as I had a D&C.

Both times we have successfully conceived have ended in this awful trauma. We're so desperate for a baby but I'm now wondering if there's something wrong with me.

We have been told that 1/4 pregnancies ends in MC, which is a ridiculously high proportion and little comfort to all of us who experience this. The hospital want me to attend for bloods tomorrow and to return next week for an additional scan to check things out again. Why? What's wrong with me?

Feeling so useless and empty. Feel like I want to try again but scared its all going to end for a third time.
Has anyone else had two consecutive MC and gone on to have a healthy PG?

Why is life so cruel? Em xxxx
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Posts

  • Thanks Zoey - what sort of reasons, do you know? xxx
  • Time will tell but I've always hated the waiting game! I'm praying that its something that can be sorted quickly and with relative ease. It's just not nice having something taken away from you that you want so much.
    All the best to you xxxx
  • Hi Em

    Thought i would post, sorry for your losses i too have had 2 m/c's last year but am now 17+1 and so far so good.

    Never found out the reason's why i had my m/c but am being monitored closly this time.

    Am here if you need to talk

    Cazz
  • Hi again

    Just re read your post and seen your question re going back for bloods and scan.

    After my first m//c i had to go back a week later for bloods - to see if hormone levels had fallen i think??

    and a scan to make sure everything had gone ( sorry sounds awful doesn't it)

    I found with both of my m/c they didn't really tell me an awful lot about what they were looking for or why.

    I asked for reasons but they told me the same as you it happens

    Cazz
  • Thank you Cazz. I'm really pleased things are working out for you. All the best. I hope you're feeling well.
    How long did you wait until conceiving this time? xxx
  • after my 2nd m/c we waited 3 months to give everthing chance to settle down ( had a D & C with last one)

    Have the hospital given you any indication if they are going to look intowhy it has happened??

    Cazz
  • They just said that they wanted to see if they could find any reasons for why, but he looked especially interested (perhaps wrong word!) when I mentioned there was a bit of clotting in my bleed (sorry if tmi!) xxx
  • i asked if they could find out why but i was told not until i had had three - maybe hospital policy where i live??

    When i went to see midwife the other week she asked if i had had any tests done to find out why and didn't look impressed when i told her what they had said
  • Think sometimes they just make it up as they go along, perhaps it depends who you get.

    That's terrible that they never investigated it further, I'm with your midwife.

    Try not to worry about it now though as you're doing so well and the stress will not be good for either you or baby.

    I will maybe know more next week (my appointment is on Monday) so will let you know how it goes.

    Take care of yourself xxxx
  • Yeah

    Let me know how it goes

    Take care of your self

    Cazz
  • Hi Em
    Firstly, I am sorry about both your mc's.

    I have not experienced an mc but it was threatening with this pregnancy as I had bleeding. No-one ever told me why, even though it was recurring, which annoyed me. I read up about mc and apparently if u have 2 mc's that is considered just plain unlucky (terrible I know but apparently true) and you will probably have a healthy baby next time, so the hospital are being very good to do the tests before u have had 3 mc's. Try and look at it as a positive thing so that if anything is wrong they can detect it early (although I'm sure everything's fine...)

    Like Lanaismom says it can be due to a condition in your blood, I'm not sure of it's exact name but you would just need to take blood thinners (heperin etc) tablets and you would have a much better chance of carrying to term.

    I think ur so brave as I don't think I would have the strength to try again even after 1 mc, I worried enough with this baby. I'm sure you will have the baby u deserve one day soon. xxx
  • Thanks Gem and Tiger. I read your posts with interest. I hope if there is something that is causing the MC then its something that can be fixed easily like the blood thinning medication that you both talked about.

    I suppose i'll have to hang onto the old cliche of third time lucky, as yes, it really has been horrible luck if everything is in working order but I'm not holding my breath.

    Perhaps it's just not meant to be. Feel like I'm letting everyone down image
  • Hey Em1978,

    I'm so sorry for what your going through, it's such an awful thing to go through and only those who have been there can really understnad what its like....

    I had a spontaneous m/c last december 2006 followed by a mmc in march 2007 resulting in a d and c...

    I had a very hard time dealing with the second m/c, my doctor said she wasn't worried about me having a 2ud mc and she then went on to say she wouldn't be worried if I had a 3rd (I managed not to slap her)...

    I read a book that was suggested to me called MISCARRIAGE: WHAT EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO KNOW by Professor Lesley Regan who runs the recurrent m/c clinic at St. MAry's in London. I found it really helped me (I also had counselling which I recommend) as she goes through all the different things that can go wrong in the first trimester and it gave me some comfort to the fact it was just bad luck and quite likely there were different reasons for the m/c's...

    My Pcos specialist put me on metaformin as pcos does carry a higher rate of m/c and told us to wait at least 2 cycles before trying again to give the drugs a chance to really get into my system, we ended up waiting about 4 months as we decided we needed a break and we would get married....I concieved just after our wedding and I'm now 23 weeks so far so good...

    So women can and do have several m'c followed by a healthy pregnancy...

    wishing you all the best
    Sarah
    xxxxxx
  • Hi Sarah, I'm really pleased things are working out for you now. I will check out the book you recommended too.

    So sorry to hear that you had a great deal to cope with, as you say, people don't really understand unless they've been there also.

    Your story proves to me that there is light at the end of the tunnel so thanks for taking the time to post it.

    Wishing you all the best, Em xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • my aunty had 7 miscarraiges and she now has 2 kids.

    They think she can't carry boys.

    MC happens for a number of reasons an I know how heart breaking they are as i have had 2.
    As for what the doctor said to you purplebabes, it is a general rule that 3 miscarraiges normally indicates some underlying problem. 2 is just seen as one of them things.
  • Oh my goodness, your poor aunty and sad to hear about you too Elsbeth...one MC is one too many in my eyes as it is.

    Not heard of or thought of the boys v girls idea.

    Hope you're all doing well now. Thanks Em xxxxx
  • Hiya em, So sorry to hear about your MC. I too have had 2 MC one in nov 06 and one in may 07. Im now pregnant again and was really worried about the same happening with this one, im 13+5 now and not had no problems so far (Touch wood) I have been told by a couple of people about maybe not being able to carry one sex also. I hope one day when you TTC again you have a happy and healthy pregnancy, Mikayla xx
  • Thanks Mikayla. Your story has a happy ending too - thanks for sharing it with me. I hope all goes well for your PG. Sounds like your doing great.

    Sorry to hear about your past MCs also. Think I'm going to read into the sex of the baby thing...am very curious now!
    All the best to you, Emxxxxxxxxxx
  • Thank you emma, If you manage to find something on the not being able to carry one sex will you post about it here so i can have a look? x
  • Of course xxx
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