i dislike my midwife

sorry this is a bit of a rant but need advice! my GP's surgery has transfered my midwife to a different surgery because they need to cover long term sickness. problem is the midwife i've now got is awful. i don't know what to do as there isn't another midwife at the surgery now. i had fantstic care last time and when i developed mild pre eclampsia towards my due date i always felt that i was being treated well and that there wasn't anything to worry about as i was in safe hands.
seen this new midwife twice now, 1st time she seemed to be in a hurry and wanted me out and i just took it that she was very busy due to getting the other midwifes work.
this time i saw her i was 28+2 weeks preg. i had concerns as i'm feeling faint and breathless most of the day and i've put on 3 stone already but only on bump and boobs. also i had mild pre eclampsia last time so wanted to ask if i was likely to get it again. she wasn't interested in hearing what i had to say and was more interested in talking to the support worker that was in the room too. (support worker didn't seem to like the midwife though so it was strictly work but not always about me) Midwife looked horrified that i'd brought my 21 month old daughter with me, but i had to bring her as i couldn't get anyone to look after her and they've stopped home visits.
when i asked about weight she told me to stop eating so many sugary things, when i told her i wasn't eating much in the way of sweet foods, she replied "well you should expect to put some weight on in pregnancy". i'm also concerned as i had a 8lb 6oz baby last time and she is now a very active energeic toddler who demands all may attention every minute of the day, and i feel that having a bigger baby this time could lead to complications and lead to a longer recovery from birth. it's going to be hard enough looking after a baby and an energetic toddler as it is! i asked her about being induced a week early (dates acurate as had fertility treatment) she just said no. no other explainatoin than it wasn't a medical reason. she didn't try to reassure me that i'd be fine or they'd monitor things closely, nothing! she quickly changed topic and then told me to get on couch so that she could measure bump. she said my measurements were corret for my dates, when i said that they were for my daughter all the way through, her reply was "well you coped with a big baby last time you'll cope this time"
she then asked the support worker to do my bloods and turned to me and asked "is she going to be alright" meaning my daughter. i said no and that it would be safer for someone to hold her. it fell on deaf ears as she just told the support worker to get on with bloods whilst she filled my blood forms in. i work in a hospital and i know it can be dangerous if the needle is knocked. my daughter got upset when i had my blood pressure done at the start of the appointment and i knew she would while i had my bloods done. sure enough she came running staright for me while the needle was going in. my natural instinct was to kick hewr away (not hard though). i was so upset that i couldn't speak and robyn was shocked and very upset took me ages to calm her down when support worker had finished taking my blood. midwife judt huffed and ignored what had happened. support worker lokked sorry for me but never said anything.
i am worried that i'm not going to receive the right care later in pregnancy or the right support after baby born. i don't know what to do.
i spoke to a few of the mums at toddler group and it turns out 2 of them had similar experiences with a midwife (from a different surgery) when i asked what her name was it turned out it's the same one.

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  • Hey hun

    Sorry to hear that u had a bad time with this horrible midwife and if u do have her name u can make an complaint to ur doctor or midwife ward in hospital which i am sure u know where to go to make an compliant and maybe ask the other mums to make an complaint against her as well!!

    U dont have to see that midwife u can arrange to see ur doctor as i have both care midwife and doctor and of course hosptial and ok doctors dont normally deal with pg woman but if u can ask him to arrange for another midwife to come in instead of that one then i am sure he or she will arrange that for ya!!

    Good luck and let us know what happened

    Carly 39 weeks xxxxxxxx
  • That's horrific - she sounds like a right witch!!!! Have you spoken to your GP's surgery about the possibility of changing midwife as you are not satisfied with they level of care that has been given??
  • Yeah, Id suggest complaining, my sister didnt like the midwife she had during her first pregnancy or the one she had when she was giving birth-but she was young at the time and didnt say anything about either of them. It really ruined her experiences and she's been determined this time to get her own way.
    But if you dont feel you'll get the right treatment and by the sounds of it you wont from this midwife then id complain and ask to see either a doctor or get another midwife. You might feel like your being akward, but you have a right to have the proper care
  • Hiya,
    What a complete bitch. Its women like her that give all midwives a bad reputation. Personally, my midwife is brill but I remembered reading someone was having problems with their midwife. Have just looked back and it was Laura2008! On pg 11 under "woow the bitch has gone" she tells bout how she got rid of her midwife! Either have a look and/or flag her a posting!
    Hope this helps,
    Love Lee
    xxxxx
  • God she sounds awful. I know they can't induce early unless it is for a medical reason but the way she was with your daughter was really bad, you would at least expect that she'd hold her or something.

    I wouldn't worry so much about the birth, 2nd births are supposed to be a lot easier. My mum's friend has 2 children and the first weighed 6lb and she had a difficult birth but the 2nd weighed 9lb 12oz and she told me that from waking up with contractions to delivering naturally was 20 mins!

    I had 1 mw who was awful & just didn't seem interested at all. I had moved doctors surgeries and was booked for 20 week scan at a different hospital. It was more convienient for me to keep this appt but she didn't listen and made it sound like I was making a fuss so I agreed to have it at the local hospital, only for her to call and tell me they couldnt get me in so late as I had imagined they would.

    She also made me feel like an idiot for refusing the down's test, critisised me for wanting to find out my baby's sex (oi! MY choice), and worst of all kept me waiting 50 minutes all because I was sitting in the 'wrong area' of the waiting room (which was literally metres away from her office, but noooo she couldn't even be arsed to call out my name despite knowing I was a new patient and didn't know I was supposed to sit right outside her office). She didnt even apologise.

    Sorry, ranting there. Luckily I think she was only filling in and I have a new mw now who is OK.

    I would complain if I were you. There's no reason why a GP at the surgery can't take charge of your care, after all they are qualified to. It is your right to request a GP or a new mw (maybe they could get one of the community mws to come out to you) so do it xxx



  • Hi you have a right to ask for another midwife especially after the way this one has treated you. It is so important for you to like and trust your midwife particularly as you had problems last time. You should write to the head of midwifery at the hospital and explain what happened because your treatment really was unacceptable and unprofessional. I have had the same midwife for all 3 of mine and she is fantastic but I know of others that I would certainly refuse to have.
    Try not to worry too much about the size of the baby. My 1st was 9lbs 8 1/2oz then the 2nd 10lbs 3oz but my recovery was a lot quicker with the 2nd one - make sure you put lots of lavender oil in the bath to help with healing! x
  • i'm going to see the GP later this week with my daughter so i will mention it then. i do hope they can get me another midwife or be seen by my GP, i really don't want to see that midwife again.
  • I'd def follow your gut instincts and don't stick with her. I think it's worth switching to the other surgery where your old mw is if you want to. A good mw is so important and she sounds like she doesn't enjoy her job or care about her patients enough. J x
  • i've been to see GP and he's advised me to get in contact with the community midwives office as there deffinately isn't another midwife at the surgery. i've phoned them today and they've given me the number for the lead midwife in the area i'm in. she is now sorting out a solution for me and will get in contact in the next couple of days to let me know what is happening. i'm glad i phoned as the more i was thinking about what happened the more i didn't feel comfortable being in the care of that midwife. thanks for the advice everyone.:\)
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