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Pregnant after miscarriage - Part 4



  • Hi Carrie! I thought I hadn't seen a post from you in a while! How have you been apart from the stress of moving? X

  • Thanks everyone she’s so smitten with him 💙

    whale chick i really hope they turn into something soon and she doesn’t keep you waiting to long (well not overdue anyway!) 

    ive been really struggling with breastfeeding everything was going well but Friday morning I woke up and they were so sore, I carried on feeding but got to a point where I had to give him some formula because I was in so much pain, I then carried on feeding once they had settled a little bit and just gave him formula during the night as it was easier and then yesterday I woke up with flat nipples he wouldnt latch so I bought nipple shields (rubbish jjst slip and slide everywhere) and tried expressing to draw my nipple back out which helped and was enough for him to latch but now he’s not interested at all and just wants a bottle ☹️ I’m now feeling devastated and just wish I’d powered through the pain on Friday morning 😭 don’t know whether to give up or keep trying, as don’t wanna keep confusing him, I feel as though the stress of feeding has ruined the last few days for me ☹️ 

  • Mummytolily ask your midwife or health visitor for advice, don't feel like a failure because your not. Some baby's never latch on but Harry did :) I know what you mean about confusing him though. Try for few more days if no luck then just go with bottle x all the best x

  • Thanks Steffyjane, just had so much on but I was reading until I realised I wasn’t getting notifications because there waals a new thread! Everything’s been good though, can’t complain I think I’ve had it pretty wasy, just getting uncomfortable and not now lol my birth will probably be horrific now! I’m measuring bang on or I was last week so no scans for me and Baby is kicking  which is such a nice feeling but sometimes scares me lol how’s everything this time around, good luck for the scan next week x

  • Oh bless you, I hope the birth isn't painful for you, aww that's lovely can't wait to feel mine kicking. Glad everything is going well for you. So far everything is good for me, I just wish my scan was this week :) x

  • Hi,

    ive been reading Through some of the chats and thought maybe it would be helpful to talk to you guys.

    I had a miscarriage on the 14th June...I was 17 weeks and 3 days gone. I’ve recently found out that I am pregnant again just 5 weeks later and to be honest I’m so scared. I feel such mixed emotions and don’t really know how to handle them. I’m not happy at all that I’m pregnant I’m still morning the loss of my little boy. Is this normal to feel this way? How can I be so unhappy about being pregnant when I was so excited to become a mum?  

  • Hi Emma Jay, I’m not surprised you’re feeling such mixed emotions. I lost my little boy at 20 weeks in March. I’m currently about 7 weeks pregnant and although I’m desperate to hold my baby in my arms, I’m frightened to death and Probably won’t be able to get excited until my baby is born. 

    What happened with your little boy? I was told at my 20 week scan that his heart had stopped. Absolutely devestating and still struggling now.

    some Of the women on here told me not to be hard on myself and to take each day as it comes and that has helped me a bit. The support on here is amazing. 

    So sorry for the Loss of your baby boy.


  • Thank you for the quick reply Emj3,

    His heart also stopped beating, I have a rare blood group which was clashing with the baby and caused him to much distress 😢 so you can imagine how much blame I am putting on myself. I’m still having nightmares about it and to find out that I am pregnant again has just increased that pressure. Dont get me wrong I want to be a mum so bad but how can I be excited about this baby when just five weeks ago I was holding my little boy that I didn’t get to bring home. I feel like I’m betraying him in some way. Home set up is not in the best place either right now...the miscarriage has had a hude impact on my relationship. 

  • It will have Emma Jay. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever been through and I felt, and still feel, so cheated and angry about losing my baby. I’m not sure any of us will ever get over it, it’s possibly about just being able to feel happy again.

    maybe you could try and see this baby as a gift.  Maybe even from the baby you lost. It might help you to heal? A friend of mine who lost a baby still says that her angel baby sent her, her next baby. I’m not sure what I believe in but it’s a good a theory as any. you have no need to feel any guilt, but I do understand.xxxx

  • Gosh my heart goes out To you both. Such strong ladies xxxx

  • Emmajay I think what emj3 said about this being a gift from your baby you lost is perfect, your beautiful baby grew their wings and left a precious gift behind, although you and your partner maybe drifting due to the horrible experience you’ve had try to let it bring you closer, you can still morn your gorgeous baby you lost but don’t let it cloud the fact that you have another chance. It’s a beautiful thing being pregnant, embrace it! I count you as lucky, please be happy & I wish you all the best for This pregnancy, you are clearly meant to be a mum 😘

  • Emma jay, I’m so sorry for your loss my heart aches for your hurt but your in the right place when your feeling down. I too believe this pregnancy is a gift I don’t know what higher power you believe in but this baby isn’t to replace your precious baby boy at all its  a blessing given. I do hope you can find some peace in this pregnancy. 

  • Congratulations bobble! Rosie Faith is beautiful, love her name too! Sounds like induction was a long process, I bet she is worth all of it though, hope you are ok 🤗❤️

    Guys I started weaning Isla on baby rice a few days ago, she's about to turn 5 months tomorrow, or 21 weeks to be exact... she is getting the hang of it slowly lol, at first she just kept spitting it out (exactly the same as my son did lol)! She's also trying to crawl now! What happened to my tiny little newborn?! It's gone sooooo fast the second time round 😢 

  • Wow elexox time is flying by! Enjoy all the cuddles now the newborn stages go so quick. 

  • Really ele 21 weeks already 5 months!!!! God that’s gone fast, it’s so weird remembering when you all started the journey and I can remember so clearly the day you got your bfp too, so pleased Isla is doing well xx

    emma jay my heart goes out to you hun, it may take some time but I’m sure this second pregnancy will be a blessing, I see it as a sign the universe wants you to have a baby even if it has been so cruel to you already xx

    another driving lesson for me today, cant say I’m looking forward to it at all as my last few have gone so badly after the mc I had to miss a few lessons and it put me way back, I was nearly at the pint of taking my test but that’s going to be a while off again now xx

  • Emma jay and EMJ3, my heart breaks for you both - I had 2 losses one at 6 weeks and the other, one twin at 13-14 weeks, the further through you are the more devastating it is! So not blame yourself Emma, it will take a lot of time for you to get over such a difficult loss and it is still very early days - I still cant look at twins without feeling sick to my stomach and break my heart for the loss.  The further through your pregnancies you get, the more you will start to bond with your baby - you may not truly relax at all, but have faith, it is rare to lose repeatedly for the same reason, even if unknown - take each day at a time, vent hear any worries/anxieties we all understand how consuming it is, and will support you as much as we can xxx🤗

    mummytolily, bf is super tough!! No one prepares you for the fact it takes weeks of dedication and rocks your core self belief in motherhood at times!! I spent days sobbing when Millie wouldn’t feed directly from me, and topping up with ebm and formula.  All I can say is if you really do stick with it, it comes good in the end.  I had 3+ days where she screamed every time I tried to get her on the breast as she wanted the bottle (so much easier for them)  I was close to throwinf in the towel on many occasions and just thought this isn’t going to work, but after around 4 weeks we for there.  I spent a couple of days in bed doing skin to skin which really helped us both, I know not so easy with Lily to do that but would highly recommend and also go to see lactation consultant, HV should have details of clinics nearby - they are excellent.  Good luck and do what is best for you! You have 2 children to look after xxx

    we have weight gain issues at the mo, little lady has only put on 11oz in 8 weeks 😬 and is only weighing 11lb3 last week at 16 weeks.  Dropped right down to 2nd percentile (although had a poo before weigh and then fed straight after so was low as she could be)  I will get her weighed again at the end of the week, but am also considering weening soon, but really don’t think she is ready yet......

    Mrs Rees good luck with your driving - I am back with you ttc again.  I thought i caught my OV this month, but was way out as period came  5 days later and was probably the worst I have ever had! Severe body aches, back ache, exhaustion and headaches - was riddiculous! Only lasted a few days thank god!  I am not going to opk atm, as quite possibly not OV yet anyhow as still feeding, so trying to not put too much pressure on myself.....

    so please so many of you are so far through your journeys 😁 

  • I had tons of symptoms, Steffy, I just couldn’t really accept I was actually pregnant, that it was happening and hadn’t gone wrong. Much easier now that she is constantly moving and making herself felt, lol. 

    Mummytolily, they just keep easing off, am giving in to the fact I will be like this forever, lol. really hoping They will check tomorrow and maybe even do a sweep if they think it would help. I know I’m early but it really does feel like my body is ready. 

    Mrsfish, ele, I cant believe how old they are already! Weaning and crawling! They are much too small in my mind, lol. I hope you are both doing well and enjoying your time with them. 

    Emma, emj, what you have both gone through sounds horrific, im So sorry for You both.

  • ele wow oh my gosh time for weaning already 😭 goes far to quickly! You’ll have to let us know how you get on! 

    Mrs Rees how did your driving lesson go today?

    Mrs fish it sure is tough, it’s more emotionally tough than I thought I didn’t think I’d be that bothered if it didn’t work out but I really loved that bond ☹️ If I didn’t have lily I would definitely express but I can’t dedicate that much time to Something in one day it’s just not fair on her and I enjoy spending time with her I’d be gutted to lose that, I did buy a latch assist which worked on my nipple and he latched and fed for about 10 minutes then came off and made a massive fuss, I think I’ll give it one more go this evening as I don’t know if he came off because he was full (had formula an Hour before) or because he wasn’t enjoying it but if it doesn’t work out later I’m gunna just leave it because I think it’s putting far too much stress on us both ☹️ Will definitely come over to the rainbow babies thread!

    Whale chick you never know they might do one! You’re over 37 weeks so she’d be fine to be born now! 

  • Thank you all for your kind words and support. It’s really helpful having this space to talk freely 😘

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