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Baby boys - Plans to create new age men???

Hi All,

I had just got to mentioning in another topic that I was totally going to bring my DB up as a feminist! (whilst ranting about my insensitive husband!). I am very serious about this and was keen to see Emma was on the same page, planning to bring her boy up as a new age man.....

I was wondering how many of you blue bump expectants feel the same way, or have specific character traits you will be looking to ensure LO doesn't have?

I have always been a (non ardent) feminist, but for some reason married a real blokie man (love him) - although I can take a lot of his actions with a pinch of salt, ensuring my little boy doesn't follow in his foot steps of his womanistic behaviour is going to be a challenge to say the least (which is why I dreamed of having a girl until 21 weeks!)

What are your plans ladies? Any good tips? Or do you think I have just completely lost the plot??


  • Ha ha I have been saying I am going to chance the males species with my DS since I found out the sex on Monday!

    I will make sure my DS has manners, is polite and respects women completely! I work with a bunch of men who have none of these and think its funny to burp and fart infront of me and not even say pardon let alone do it anyway!

  • All I know is that I am not bringing my son up in anyway like my step-son.

    My boy will have manners, be considerate, not selfish, share and most of all respect adults!

    Well that's the plan anyway!

  • I like it, we all have the basics down, which as they are basics its amazing so many men lack them!!

    The step-son thing......hmmmm, touchy subject! I think they are a god send in that you have a marker line to aim passed!! My step son is not the worst kid in the world by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn't want my son to turn out like him (even in looks is my new panic!!)

    The respect to women thing, I am very insistent on,I think I'll over sell our species a bit and make us God like creatures, so that he can meet me half way and get it right!!

    My main fear is that Hub thinks he is hilarious and will make 'jokes' playing him off me and saying how wonderful men are and they are superior yadda yadda....just the thought of it infuriates me. Im thinking private chats about daddies mental illness problems!! lol


  • How strange I have a step son too!

    I was amazed that he leaves the table without asking, doesnt sit properly at the table, eats with his knife and fork the wrong way and eats food with his mayonaise if you catch my drift. Other than that he is very polite and generally very good kid.

    The only thing that sent me fuming once was when I was at the in laws, went to the loo and he has peed all over the seat and there was a MASSIVE puddle of wee next to the loo about 6 inches worth! i called my OH and said this wasnt you was it? He said it must have been his son and then OH cleared it up! Now this is where we differ and maybe if he was my son, I would summon him upstairs ask why he left it like that and why he didnt clear it up. He must learn to respect other peoples houses! I was livid OH didnt pull him up on this!

  • yeah, totally!! I think I always blame it on mens lack of parenting skills, believing that you just do what is nessassery to make a child happy instead of training them.. My SS is similar, a little better toilet trained (although I have been with someone who's kid was like that) but he will leave all his clothes and wet towel on the bathroom floor as if its my 'job' to go and pick them up after him. My main issue is 'broken home syndrome' which to me means that he plays his parents off of each other, manipulates with the aid of guilt and tantrums, my OH will give him anything he wants, he just doesn't know how to say No.....infuriating. I have tried to talk to OH about it, calmly, conversationally, helpfully, interferringly, angrily, comedically - nothing works!! I have got to the point now where I tell him ' do you what you want, he's your son, but just know that would not be acceptable with our son' and to be honest, I wonder if it will be an issue - God willing he will be a full time parent to our son and so this guilt complex wont be there, but I bet it makes the guilt over the existing son 10 times worse.....I hope my son doesn't get pushed aside because of it!

    I think the thing that winds me up most with all kids, of all ages (my husband being a kid of 38!) is the WAY in which they talk to people - I will not tolerate this winning way of asking for things or complaining. I would like to think that my child will rarely get just a 'no' - that I will take the time to explain why something has to be a certain way - if they have an issue with that, then they can talk about it with me, but I think if I hear a 'ooooooooooooooh pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaseeee muuuuuuuuum' or 'ittss soooooooo unfaaaaair, hmph' - my head will explaode all over them, that should be enough to put them off doing it again!! lol
  • no experience of step sons/daughters but have 2 cousins and their mum cant take them anywhere...they scream, there destructive and get bribed with sweets 24/7. they were round our house the other day and one wanted to stay shes 3 and very spoilt (thanks to her nan telling her you cant tell her off cause shes a princess) she was hitting her mum saying i dont like you, your not my mum im a princess...i was shocked and i thought omg have i that to come lol

    i once told her not to mess about in the kitchen when i was babysitting and making something to eat her response was your not my mum so i dont have to listen! i was like like you'd expect that from a stroppy teen not a just turned 3 yr old!! i suppose you cant blame the kids as the parents are the ones teaching them morals/respect and what not.
  • I only have one criticism of my otherwise fab MIL - that she ran around after her sons so much they totally took her for granted, never learned to do anything domestic for themselves, and have zero appreciation of quite how much hard work running a house is (so don't give a second thought to leaving stuff all over the place).

    I've had 6 years to work on my hubby so he's improving, but no son of mine (if I have one) is going to grow up thinking women have nothing better to do than run round after him :evil:
  • im gatecrashing but have always said that my ds (and dd) will learn to look after themselves from a young age ,i totally blame my mil for the reason my oh is a lazy bugger!! but she is too not cos she did anything for him they just lived in a dirty house ,yack!! my ds already knows how to use the washing machine and he is 3!!! he "helps" me hoover and is more enthusiastic than my oh is about anything :roll: !!! ive tried to train him but to no avail ,i went out to work yesterday for 9 hours ds was in nursery and oh did NOTHING all day and when i shouted asking him why ....his reply was "u only said u had to look after dd!! " grrrr men my son will not be like that !!#
    rant over image
  • ha ha, what a fab thread. I find out in 10 days what we are having but if it's blue then i'm so with you on teh manners etc. My son will be a man that looks after his ladies, can actually turn on a washing machine and god forbid respects his elders. Looks like we all have work on our hands!!!! xxx
  • I am totally of the mind that women only seem able to multi-task! I know this is not news. I really hope that I can give that female element to my son! Its doesn't sound like much, but could be tough if Im fighting genetics!!

    My OH's most irritating habit is not being able to think ahead or observe what needs doing or use his initiative - this is the basis of my sons training plan!

    In my mind, this sums up men - I was a watching Topgear today and this *nobby* man had built a car in his kitchen.....IN HIS KITCHEN!!! Obviously it takes a little while to complete the building of a car, at no point did he consider how this car was going to leave the kitchen....... he's answer? Took out the wall.........honestly!!! No foresight, no common sense, mild initiative?

    I do think Im a little worried that if I go over board on the feminist training that I will 'turn' my son gay (I know, irrational mother thoughts) and although I wouldn't have a problem if my child announced they were gay, I obviously wouldn't actively wish it upon them!! Im thinking I will have to even things out with sports and stuff!! Lol x x x
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