When should we tell people?


Im 13+2 and apart from parents and my small work team no one knows im pregnant. I just don't know when to tell people, i keep thinking because of previous mc's (both at 6 weeks) if i tell something bad will happen and i just can't get past this thought! Grrr.

Originally i said once I'd had 12 weeks scan I'd tell, then I had some spotting which put me off, had another scan all was well but didn't feel ready to tell, so then i thought i'll get to 13 weeks, well im 13 weeks and still don't know what to do, so i asked my friend who is an ex MW to listen for heartbeat which she found straight away and originally I said when i'd heard hb i'd tell but guess what? Still havn't. Im now thinking i'll wait till next week and listen to the HB again or I'll wait for another 2 weeks untill my next scan. Poor hubbie is desperate to tell but i just feel like i've hit a brick wall!!!

Probably sound like im loopy - im not honest!:lol:


  • Can't ansa that for you hun but you're gonna have to say something soon coz with an expanding belly, it'll be pretty obvious soon!! And you don't want people getting upset at you for not saying (although I do think they'd understand!).

    Why not let your dh spill the beans? Its not you telling people then lol
  • You are under no obligation to tell anyone until you are ready. You've been through so much it's only natural to have worries. I bought a doppler, which meant I could listen to hb whenever I wanted and that made so much difference to my peace of mind (??20 on ebay).
    Just take your time to adjust and I am sure you will know when it feels right.
  • Yeah, just tell people when you feel ready. Its natural to worry-especially after what you've gone through.
    Even if you tell people when its pretty obvious because theres a bump there-Im sure they'll understand.


  • hiya, it's understandable you dont want to tell people yet after all you've been through. I found the longer I left it the harder it got to start the conversation tho so be warned, lol. Good luck xxx
  • I thought we would wait til the 12 week mark but at 6 weeks had to go to hospital with a bit of bleeding so ended up telling everyone at work then, they knew we were trying so i had been lying to a few people for a couple of weeks but its so much easier with everyone knowing so they can help me out when im feeling sick and tired. Its understandable though in your position to be scared im surprised no-one has guessed yet from that little bump!
  • well this is the thing, my little bump is definately getting more noticeable kinda like I've eaten all the pies!!! lol!
  • Maybe then just wait for the results of your next scan and then break the news to people. At least then you will have seen your little baby on the screen again and that will be extra reassurance for you and will hopefully make you feel ready to break the fab news!!

  • Well, we've started telling and i actually feel relieved! feels really good. I figure that once most people have their 12wk scan they normally tell and most don't normally get another scan at 16 weeks. I've heard heartbeat, feeling sick like i don't know what so thought why not!! xx
  • I was the same as you funkymonkey and was sure i would tell everyone as soon as we had 12 week scan but fear of mc was still there and i was nervous about telling everyone. However most people who knew about the mc and then my terrible 'gastroenteritis' guessed so i didnt have to do much telling. I am glad everyone knows now and also once you get to 12 weeks the risk of mc is tiny and doesnt get more or less the more time you leave it.

    I would def recommend getting a doppler off ebay, its so reassuring to listen to heartbeat regularly.
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