Working Mums

Hi Ladies,

(This is a follow on from prev post regarding going back to work after maternity leave)

I might be sounding selfish here but wen my maternity leave finishes im going back to work full-time. I have worked very hard through 2pregnancies to obtain good a-level results and a discinction level HND so dnt just want to sit back with an "okay, part-time" job. I am in no way disputing those who are full times mums or only work part time, as I have a toddler and know how hard that is. On the other hand I want a career so I can provide the life I want for me and my family, and been a stay at home mum is just not me. Sorry if i sound un-maternal (which i prob am as 1st preg was accident, n 2nd preg came about coz we dint want big age gap), but i believe some people suit and are happy been full time parents, but I know I wudnt be fulfilled if i tried to do it, i think im just way to ambicious and career minded. Just to add, this message was in no way intended to offend anyone or undermind their life choices and i am sorry if u feel i have done this, i just wanted to add my opinion. Kerry xxx
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  • hi, I would still be working if I could be. 31+6. I am going to try and do as many hours as pos once I can go back to work. I enjoy work and this staying at home with too much time on my hands isnt good for me.
    x
  • Cheers michelle,
    i was scared this post might make me look like a monster and nearly didnt put it on, but i am interested in other peoples opinions on this matter. Im sure i can find a happy medium between working life and quality time with my babies and can always chose how little or much i want to work wen the time comes, (as after another baby i might feel different, doubt it tho) ha ha ha. Kerry xxx
  • Hi Kerry

    I admire you for your honesty and certainly think there's nothing wrong with going back to work full-time if that's what you want to do. I was just wondering though, who will look after your lo's when you go back to work? xxxx
  • Hi SWillo,
    My 17mnth old is already in nursary three days a week wile i go uni and he can stay here until he is five. The same nursary takes babies from 3mnths old (I would never dream of putting a baby that young in nursary, however), so new baby will be around 10mnths old wen i go back to work and will have a place here as well. Oh and zoey85 congratulations on ur career i just cnt wait to be out of education and in the "real" world. I have a job in management waiting for me at Balfour Beatty where my dad is project manager, so will have the option of flexibility as well. Theres nuffin wrong with a bit of nepatism, ha ha ha. (My uncles always used to say its who u know not what u know) Kerry xxx
  • Sounds ideal Kerry! Good on you xxxx
  • hi now its my turn to be scared to offend anyone!!!

    i am only recently a fulltime mum, my girl is 3 and i am preg with second. i am only able to be a fulltime mum cause my oh's wage just about covers things, and i was a single parent when my girl was a baby so had to work as didnt want to be on benefits or anything (as i dont need to be, i am perfectly able to work).

    anyway what i wanted to say was i admire those who can work and it is worth their while (my wage only covered nursery costs so it was for nothing really) and i have real problems with mum so had no free childcare.

    i have a business degree so have tried in life to get qualifications etc but still i would prefer to be at home with kids. i have always wanted to be a midwife, but i would rather wait until til kids are at least in school, perhaps even high school, because to me, career opportunities will always be there, but my kids wont...i am scared to miss their wee lives, for the sake of a job.

    i cant ever imagine only seeing my kids in the evenings, or whatever...fulltime work is just not for me, id be miserable and feel i was missing out on their lives.i didnt have them, in order for someone else to bring them up. sorry if that offends,it is just another view of it.

    those mums who work fulltime are showing a good example to their children too, which is great...and some fulltime mums are miserable and grow to resent having to stay at home and not have a career (altho it is hard work too).

    so i think it just depends on the individual mum. i love staying at home, and i know i can have time for my career when my kids are older x


    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;19;29/st/20080523/dt/5/k/1ec5/preg.png








  • i think this is where the whole having kids old or young arguments comes in doesn't it? Many women who leave having children till later in life do so to futher their career first, but then younger mums will have the opportunities for careers wen their children have grown up. As long as we have healthy happy children it dnt suppose it matters, in my case though, although i love my son and wudnt change him for the world (&new baby) i just dnt have it in me to stay at home. I dnt wan people to get the wrong impression bout me im not just in it for money and material things (that doesnt bova me), i just wana feel like iv dun sumfing with my life other than having babies. Anyway i might start this whole full-time thing and realise that its not for me but then at least i can say that i tried it. Kerry xxx
    ps lauragcam, its funny my background is in business, but since aving babies iv seriously considered moving into midwifery, funny how having kids changes you.
    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev183pf___.png


  • Definately not monster, Kerry! I totally agree with any mother who wants to go back to work. I'd love to go back at some point after my baby is born (not including that my feelings may change afterwards) but its a matter of being able to afford returning to my previous work. Or being able to find another job closer to home.

    But i do agree with Lauragcam's opinion of being able to have a career when her kids are older... that could work out best all round for me if money permits!

    It depends on the mummy! X
  • I have worked hard and am doing reasonable well in my work life... but I intend to be at home with this child my view isn't that I'm not working apart from not earning a wage - I feel like actually I'll be doing a full time job, to me it's the first years that my child is alive it's important that we in steal our values, beliefs as well as promoting a healthy self esteem, self image, and value of self, that we encourage the child to play, learn, develop, to be positively stimulated, feel loved and secure, that early years it's important to give happy childhood memories, that the child has consistency with the care giver and really it's the time where you get to know who your child is. I feel quite passionate about this and have so much love for our child already - do I trust somebody I don't know that well, to feel the same about at a paid job? Do I know if they can provide the stimulation, love & and values? Not really... therefore although I won't receive a wage I still feel like I will get job satisfaction, and I'm lucky that my partner earns good money and is supportive so I'm in a position where I can afford to have this choice - I'm not saying we have money coming out of our ears but its about what we value and to me the above is more important than the material aspect! xxxx
  • This goes back to my point about not going back to work full-time for the money aspect of things (although that will be nice). My partner and I have a lovely life now on his wage and my very parttime wage, but I feel like although children r a big part of my life, I can provide mur to this world and want to be able to feel iv dun all i can with my life. Im lucky in that Rhys has been going to this nursary since he was 12mnths old and i have a gud relationship with the nursary staff and know the type of care that is been provided, and will be happy for my next child to go there. I completely agree that its important for quality time with my children, but on the other hand I need to fulfill my needs as well. (Jus realised how selfish that sounded but thats how i feel). Kerry xxx
    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev183pf___.png

  • hi kerry i dont think that is selfish atall...the way i see it is, if you felt pressured to be at home and then did stay at home, and would much rather be out at work, then your son/children will see that you are unhappy and this would make your children unhappy.so it is prob better for them to see you happy, than to have you at home but obviously unhappy and unfulfilled.

    where as myself and some of the others on here are happy at home, so our children are happy (in theory).

    hope that makes sense sorry. but i do believe that if mum/paretns are happy then children stand more chance of being happy.

    each mum is different obviously, and different thigs make us all happy, and our thoughts can change over time too.


    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/1;19;29/st/20080523/dt/5/k/1ec5/preg.png


  • Part of me is hoping my outlook does change after iv had this baby, but it didn't after I had rhys, as i went back 2 uni and worked part-time, straight away. Having said that i do spend all day mon and fri (a wkends) with just me and rhys and i do love that time. So it mite be that wen I do start full time after maternity leave I realise i dnt like it. Its actually quite stupid for me to say wat im gona do after mat leave coz i have no idea how i will feel then, jus like im sure many of us dnt. Fink i want the best of both worlds, career and family. Hopefully i will b able to achieve this. Kerry xxx
    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev183pf___.png

  • i have read somewhere that the kids who get on best in life have parents who work parttime, cause then they have the comfort of mum/dad at home,and all the attention and love that comes with that, but also have the independance learnt at nursery/childminder or where ever.

    it is definitley a big decision, casue we all dont want to look back and regret what we did, but we just have to do what is best for us at the time x

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  • it's not selfish at all my ideas are ideals for me this is my first child - who knows I might feel like I have too go back to work because i'm board - it's just now during planning it's what we feel is best for our child but of course everyone is diffrent! x
  • Everybody just needs to do whats right 4them! x Im going to have to go back to work full time - i'd love to go back part time but just can't afford it. I think this will really upset me tho as i want to spend as much time with bubs as possible. xx
  • Well my mum believed in staying at home with the kids but now she says looking back she wished she had worked cos she was miserable at home with 2 little ones and no adult conversation & said it prob didn't do us any good. But everyone is different, what works for one person doesn't work for another. I'm not working at the moment but am intending to go part-time, maybe 16 hours, a few months after lo is born - maybe less. I don't have to worry about childcare so much as my oh works nights and is up at 12pm and doesn't have to go till 8pm. I think it will be lovely for my little boy to have his dad around in the day and his mum most days, as most kids don't have much time with their dads xxx
  • hi just wanted to add my opinion. Im already ou of work due to illness sick has brought mostly because i had just started new job when i founf out and coudln't even be in the room long even to listn for training without runing to vomit every ten minutes. id lve to go back to work as im only 16 weeks but everytim i mention the baby or go for an interview now i have started showing a little i get rejected. ive explained i dont want maternity pay, or anything like that, i just want something to kep me busy until im due. but still nothing. i was getting 30 hits a day on monster before i noted on cv that i only avail until end of june, then dropped to 2 a day. its not fair!!!

    id love to go back to work full time after baby born, but its not a choice. but im working on it has im thinkin of starting my own business. Ive got two main ideas (all around babies amazingly enough) and i think they should hit off, i just need to do more research before i plunge my savings into it. But hopefully if all goes to plan ill be hiring other pregnant women to help me campaign and it will include baby too.

    but lets see where it goes......

    sarah 16weeks XXX
  • That is something else my partner and i were discussing. As I have spent time at home with Rhys during his first years then maybe he wud like to do it with baby number 2! He wud luv to stay at home now but we just cnt afford it wile im at uni, but if I was to start working full time then it wud giv him the chance to spend time with his children, afterall its a mans job to! Kerry xxx
  • Gud luck S-J Gachette, that is a gud idea opening up ur own business because although it will be hard work and time consuming at first, at least later on u will the flexibility needed to luk after a lo. Kerry xxx
  • i hate when you post a reply an dit doesnt get posted. arrrgh!
    nywaymaybe typing it a second time might help make it shorter, i would love to go back to work now as im only 16 weeks but had just started new company when i found out and because hadnt completeed training and was signed off ill (really bad preg symptoms) i lost my job.

    but i think ill be ok because im going to start my own business and hopefully make opportunitys for other preg and mums with young ones to work flexible and include their baby too. ive got two ideas but im still researching into them as i want to make sure i stand a good chance with the ideas before i but my money and time into them. lol

    i just think mums should be able to work and look after baby whenever they choose, if they wann work, they work if they don't they don't. its about their personality, and they way they are. so wish me luck ladies and ill let you know when its up and running so you can log on to the site im creating and boost my chances of sucess, and your own.lol
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