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Giving baby Dads sirname - changing mine?

Hi guys

Me and o/h are not married. We have been together on and off for 9 years but cant get married for financial reasons. My o/h owns a company and if we were married and the company went bankrupt then we could face losing all our personal assets whch are currently in my name.

Up until now I have always had my Dads sirname and this is the sirname my 12 year old boy uses.

I will be giving baby Bertie my o/h's sirname.

My o/h wants me to change my sirname so that I have his sirname and I have the same name as Bertie which would make things easier for when Bertie is at school etc.

My Dad died in January and my 12yr old would keep my Dads sirname as it would carry on my Dads name and that would make my Dad happy.

I am unsure whether to remove my sirname completely or have it as a middle name and put o/h's sirname at the end.

I am seriously considering doing this before Bertie is born, it is really easy to do online its just agro changing it with the banks etc.

What do you think? Has anyone else considered doing this?



  • GeorgieD - I am not in this position but my sister in law is...they cant afford to get married - been together for 12 years and they have a 2 year old who has my brother in laws name...but she does not have the same name....couldnt you and o/h go to the registry office just the two of you and get married? it could be quite sweet and romantic rather than changing your name by deed poll? x
  • Thats the problem, we really want to be married but if we do then my assets become his assets too.

    My o/h is in a trade and employs about 14 blokes. If he doesnt get paid by a developer for work done that he's already paid his employees to do and the wholesalers for the parts then he may have to go bankrupt. It not so bad at the mo as he has lots of money due in but there is always a risk.

    If he goes bankrupt and we are married then we could lose our house, cars, Dads inheritence everything in order to pay his creditors. So long as we arent married then everything is safely in my name.

    I assure you as soon as he closes down the business then we will be going to a tropical island somewhere and getting married but until then we cant.

  • agh BE swallowed my reply;

    Maria - my o/h said we could tell everyone we had got married but I think thats going a little far lol. He calls me his wife though which is sweet. My older son will get a choice on whether to change his name too but as he was very close to my Dad I think he'll want to keep his name.

    Wannabeamummy - Ill try to get a message to snowangel - Thanks

  • hiya, i just looked online because i am considering doing this aswell and it is really easy...just type in deed poll in google and it is the first site. It costs 33 pounds or twenty three if you get any sort of credits included
  • HI hun -

    You can change your name my deed poll really easily - it only costs about ??30 ish too.
    We got married last year and i coul;dn't face losing my maiden name - its kinda who I am, so i have a double barrelled name. i was going to have my maiden name as a middle name but opted for double barrelled. Baby will have hubbys / married name so I'll half the first part of my surname the same as baby.
    Why not have both names then you'll have part of the same name as both your children.

  • Aww Wannabemummy - that really made me smile thanks for calling me lovely! :lol: I love everyone in our due in June forum as we've all become such good friends.

    Anyway - to the topic in question.... GeorgieD I have replied in due in June 09 forum but i'll paste it in here for you too!

    I'm engaged to my partner but we aren't getting married until 2011 (due to babies on the way & money!). The babies are going to have my partners surname and basically I wanted the same surname as them from the start so we were like a family. It would also mean that the birth certificate would have everyone's surname on as the same.

    I have kept my title as Miss but just changed my surname via this service

    If you click on that link it will give you all the info you need about changing your surname. It's really easy to do and you can do it online. There are various websites offering a cheaper service but they are not guarenteed to be accepted by banks etc - so this being the 'official one' was the safest option. It cost me about ??53 in total (which included 8 legal signed copies) You need legal copies to send off to companies telling them you have changed your name, rather than sending the original and waiting for it to come back.

    When we do get married in a couple of years, I won't need to renew my passport again which is great (as your passport doesn't have your title on). I've changed my driving license (this was due for renewal anyway so perfect timing!) I've already told my banks, mortgage company etc and it's all been changed now. It took about 2 weeks to get everything sorted and I didn't have any problems with this service.

    As for your Dad's surname - you can change your name to whatever you want! You can change your first, middle and last name if you want to or add names. It's a nice idea to keep your dad's name in there somewhere but up to you how you do that. It's nice that your 12 yr old is going to keep his surname - so if you don't change yours, your dad's name is being passed through him.

    I changed my surname when I was 25 ish weeks and it's not caused any problems, just had to make sure I told the midwives and hospital too! If you are going to do it, i'd do it asap so it's all done and dusted before your little one is born....

    Hope that has helped.... Anymore questions, feel free to ask!

    [Modified by: snowangel on April 30, 2009 01:20 PM]

  • Georgie - I may of missed this (I'm speed reading) but why don't you become double barrelled - then you will have the same name as both of your children. Or all four of you could become double barrelled (including your oh)

    K xx
  • I thought about that too as it would be a good option. Main reason I didn't suggest it though is because you'd have to pay for Deed Polls for everyone (excpet the newborn of course) which would cost a lot more.... depends what you want though of course xx

    [Modified by: snowangel on April 30, 2009 01:28 PM]

  • could get your husbands company made into a limited company, this would then mean it is completely seperate to your private affairs and if it does go bankrupt then it will not affect you directly. Thats how big national companies that go bust are set up, then when they liquidate all of the directors etc get away without having to pay out a penny, as the liability lies with the company rather than you personally.

    I think its costs about ??100 to get one set up through Companies House (UK national site) and then you're safe as houses! This is what we had to do before we got married a couple of years ago.

    Then all you'd have to think about is the name issue!

    Just another idea x
  • Hi guys

    Thanks for your responses, I have been online to deed poll and submitted the application and ive kept my current surname as a middle name.

    Mybutler - we made my o/h's company into a limited company a couple of years ago but until the company name builds up enough credit all of the debts are classed as personal debts as my o/h has to give personal guarantees so we are not safe for a little while yet. image

    Thanks again guys, I was a little nervous as my bosses wife changed her name and they werent married and a few people made comments about it so I wasnt sure if people would think it was silly. The majority of people I have spoken to say its a good idea so im happy with that and you know what so long as me and my o/h are happy with it then thats all that matters.

  • I've not had any silly comments, i just get people assuming i'm a Mrs because I have my partners surname. I just correct them and say 'actually i'm Miss!' Doesn't really bother me though.

    You are right, as long as you and oh are happy that's what matters! Hope everything goes smoothly for you! xx

    [Modified by: snowangel on April 30, 2009 01:53 PM]

  • Hey GeorgieD,

    Maybe you could double barrell your name so both your children will have your surname?? x x
  • hey Georgie - just athought which popped in my head when reading - wouldnt yr 12 yr old feel left out?


    MKB 23+4
  • I know what you mean hun but I have spoken to him about it as he could change his name but as I mentioned before he wants to keep my Dads surname as they were very close and he died in January. Thats also why I have kept my maiden name as a middle name so that I can still be known by that name for Liams school. I wouldnt want him to feel left out as we were on our own for so long we are very close still. We kept him involved when we were trying for a baby and every step of the way - bar conception - so he felt part of the family


  • lol bar conception - that made me giggle lol

    Yes - if he is comfortable with the idea, go for it! Sounds like a lovely idea!!

    xxx MKB 23+4
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