Mum not really that interested

Hi Everyone

I'm a bit p*ssed off that my mum is not really that interested in the fact that I'm pregnant. She had promised to do all my shopping with me but keeps coming up with excuses, She's been round to see me once since I've been off (I've been off work with severe joint pain since 20 weeks - now 27+5) and that was only for half an hour and we live in the same village. She's coming to my 4d scan with me tomorrow but that's with my oh and my dad and she invited us round on xmas day. She doesn't work either and my dad's away a lot. Am I being totoally paranoid??? I've always been the black sheep a bit as I'm the oldest so did the terrible teens first although no where near as bad as my little sis did them!!!(just me and little sis) and I've always had the slight impression that I'm not good enough.
She's also told me that she didn't bond with me when I was born and she was never very maternal - but she has a wonderful relationship with my little sister and they spend loads of time together.
It's probably the hormones but I just feel like she doesn't want to spend any time alone with me - she seems really excited about the baby though and keeps talking about looking after the baby loads. Am I a paranoid freak? Has anyone else experenced this? Should I just suck it up and stop being such a whinger?

Laura xx

Posts

  • Oh honey she may be finding it hard to excpet that her little girl is actually having a baby! have u tried talking to her about how u feel? she may not be aware of how she's making u feel.
    Hormones may be playing apart but don't right it off just cause of that, cause it'll just build up and get u more upset!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • I can sympathise with you that you didn't bond with your mother as until a few years ago, I was the same. I also have a younger sister and they used to get on well despite my sister being a devil child! It's the other way round now, but I do think being the oldest daughter is hard - I'm quite resentful actually after years of babysitting and taking the blame when one of the younger ones spilt something or ran off :roll: This is my first and he'll be treated like a prince lol.

    Maybe you should go round and see your mother, if that's possible, or invite her round? She probably doesn't realise that you feel left out. My mum's being the total opposite and cant do enough for me, she won't even let me cook in case I burn myself! So it can go both ways I suppose!

    I hope things are better soon and enjoy your 4d scan, still got a few weeks before mine x
  • My mum admitted last week that she'd always been quite cold towards babies and was quite worried how she'd be when my little one was born (11 weeks tomorrow) but she's surprised herself by just how much she loves him.... sometimes it's a shock to realise that your own mum isn't particularly maternal, and in my experience being pregnant makes you rethink all of your relationships.
    In my case I spent a lot of time thinking about my parents and how they had been, my relationships with both of them. I think it's all part of coming to terms with becoming a mum yourself.
    I didn't think my Mum was interested in the pregnancy part of it but she's very different now he's here.....
    Hopefully the nearer your due date you get the more she'll take an interest.
    Tracey
    xx
  • Hi I understand where you are coming from. My Mum is putting on an award winning oscar performance regarding my unborn baby. She doesnt really want to know due to who the father is. My sister nearly had to brow beater her in M&S last week to buy somethings for my soon to be baby. She makes out she is interested so that she can pass the information on but truth be known she doesnt want to be a grannie to this one. I've got past carring, as it upsets me and feel that it is her loss.
    She cant stand the fact that everyone else is excited about me having a baby as I was told it most likely would never happen.
    I'm sure yours will come round.
  • Thanks everyone - you all have such good advice, I felt like there wasn't really anyone I could talk to about this and just wanted to have a bit of a rant but like always you all really help me! I'm feeling much better now - spent a couple of days feeling really low and had a good old cry about it and now I think like a few of you have said - it's her loss. I can't really talk to her about it as she has a track record of not really listening and then taking a funny. I'd rather have a superficial relationship with her than none at all and hopefully she'll come round like you've all said when my little girl (just found out today) arrives. Seeing my beautiful girl at my 3d scan has made me think that she is the only thing that matters and my mum can be as involved as she wants to be! Thanks everyone for dragging me back to sense and mental health! Laura xxx
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