What would you do?

I'm absolutely fuming with my sister at the moment though I havent said anything to her yet (& dont know whether to say anything or not!) To cut a long story short she fell pregnant while she was at university & her little girl is now 1. She carried on & finished her studies while having a tough pregnancy too which I really admire her for doing. To help her out at the time I lent her a few baby things (crib, night & day feeder, bouncy chair & baby carrier etc....) thinking that she would look after them.

My dad brought them up to us last night & the although the actual crib is fine the mattress (which I was going to replace anyway) is absolutely stinking of smoke, the sheets I sent with the crib are nowhere to be seen (though if they smelt as bad as the mattress I wouldnt want them anyway) I knew that the bouncy chair had broken so I was prepared to replace it but I dont know what to do about the baby carrier. Firstly it stinks of stale smoke & damp so when dad brought it in I put it straight outside onto the washing line last night coz I didnt want it stinking the house out but when I went out to get it this morning & took a closer look the inside was covered in mouse droppings. I gave it a good shake & its now on its second 'intensive' wash to see what it comes out like. Even if it comes out ok I dont know if I would dare use it (it cost me almost ??50 so it was quite a good one)

The problem is when I mentioned it to any of my family they just tell me to say nothing & let it pass & not to create a fuss (as if its my fault!!!)I know they all think I'm far too fussy with housework & hygiene & things but if my dog had slept on it for the past 14 months it would be in better condition. I personally dont think she should get away with nothing being said to her but then I dont now what saying anything will achieve either. To be honest this is just another expense that we really dont need (her & her oh both work fulltime) coz we are already going to be out the expense of the bouncy chair. What would you do if it was you?

Hilary x
P.S. I feel better already getting that off my chest

Posts

  • Hi, I agree with the other replies - I think i would have to say something.

    I know if someone lent me something, I would do my utmost to take extra good care of it - even more so if I knew there was a good chance they would need it back. Sometimes things do get damaged - these things happen but I think in that case, if i couldnt return something in its original condition or even good condition, me being me would probably offer to get a replacement out of kindness. My sisters both have children and I am expecting my first and they have been kind enough to offer to lend things such as a cot, baby chair etc. and I will obviously look after these items out of respect.

    xx
  • posted a reply under 'Due nov' under nesting thread - ended up ranting on again but you'll get the gist!!!
    xxx
  • I would probably get the same response as you off my mum I have a sister I just baby sat for her tonight both my nephews were running around the house with no pants on eating choclate which i ended up being covered in and her house was a right old tip. Every single space in the kitchen was filled with clothes including the floor sink full of pot's that need washing and her living room carpet looked like it hadn't been vacced in years. This seems to be her way of dealing with things as it's always like that, on the other hand our house is pretty clean, I get it in the neck from my MIL if she finds one speck on the carpet. I am not sure I want to borrow anything from my sister at the momment and possibly anything she gives me may get stored away and then she can have them back at a later date if she want's them. I am 23 weeks now and up to now she hasn't offered me anything.
  • I'd say something. If someone lends you stuff then you should look after it!!! If you break it you replace it. It sounds like your sister is taking advantage to be honest.

    I have a friend who has lent me a moses basket, baby bath and some maternity clothes and I'm looking after them as well as I can. I felt really bad when one of the pairs of trousers came unstitched and one has frayed on a hem.. so I confessed to her and fortunately she isn't bothered because they are things that she didn't get new.. so I'm relieved about that!! If we were to break the moses basket or the baby bath then we would replace it!

    Emma - your MIL comments on how clean your house is? How rude!! My mother has occasionally made comments if my house is untidy but I just tell her its my house and I'd rather have a life than clean constantly!
  • JUST SAY TO THEM

    'TIDYING YOUR HOUSE WHILST YOUR CHILDREN ARE GROWING ...
    ...IS LIKE SHOVELING SNOW WHILST ITS STILL SNOWING'!!!

    And remember there's a big difference between being messy or lived in and being dirty. I have two kids with no 3 on the way and I admit its not always pristine but it is clean. There may be toys out or cups on the work top but nothing major and I try to let my kids feel comfy 'playing' and 'living' in their own house without feeling like they cant touch anything or get anything dirty. I think your MIL is quite rude commenting on your house.


    xxx
  • Exactly pat, there is a huge difference between messy and dirty! Our house gets messy often but we do clean regularly. my mother is a clean freak and insists on everything being put away at all times...she doesn't even approve of me leaving washing up out to drain rather than drying up straight away!!

    Think I'll have to remember that saying image
  • Thanks for all your replies much as I dont think she should get away with it I dont think I'll achieve much by saying anything either but I'm still going to be mentioning it to her when I next see her.

    Thats not very considerate of your mil. My MIL's house is always spottless (she could probably find dirt in Kim & Aggies) but shes the 1st to say its impossible to keep your house spottless when your children are young but I agree that there is a huge difference between untidy & dirty (my sisters house would fall into the latter!)

    Hilary x
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