Bloody a**ehole men!

In the last 24 hours my hubby has said...

God your massive! (only 24 weeks)

mmm dont think your coping to well with this pregnancy lark (I cook, clean, do shopping, wash his clothes, work full time plus grow a baby and all that has happened is i seem to cry a bit more - i thought i was doing quite well!)

you've become really simple havent you! (because I asked him to repeat something this morning!)

he doesnt mean it nastily but still, His dad is really ill and I have been really trying not to winge about backache or incrediable heartburn and make sure the house is clean, cook his dinner etc- he has been busy at work but still. No bloody support!

Has anyone elses husband/partner been an arsehole?

phew thanks for the rant! (if only i could have a few smirnoff ice to relax!!)
Laura (24+2) xxx

Posts

  • I recon you should go on strike - just so he knows how hard it is to have his own sirts ironed on time, don't cook dinner because your not hungry... next time he asks you something a second time say - i'm pregnant and whats your excuse - old age? lol

    You dont have to do it for long before they start to relise ACTUALLY how much you do!

    I went on strike just before Christmas - he thought nothing of it at first - till he started saying we havent got such and such a gift yet - and Id look at him blankly saying yeah? what did you plan to get them? Them I made a list of everything I was suffering such as consitpated diorea, head aches, heart burn, streach marks, soft hips, hormones, not being able to eat and drink things i liked, vomitting and nasuea (sp), bad hair and skin, bloating, not having enough room in my own body, and then reminded him HE copes when he has a slight case of the sniffels!

    Its done the world of good for us both really although it still doesnt quite dawn upon him to make his own work load he is far more receptive doing doing his share when he is given 'jobs' lol

    and now if he wants a sirt doing he gets the hanger, puts the board up fills iron, gets clean shirt, i'll iron it... he hangs it up empties the iron puts the board away and then he says thanks you and what a lovely job ive done! Then I remind him that ive stood for a whole two mins (lol) with a back aches and sore hips carrying his child to do him a favour because he is an adult and he is perfect capably of doing it him self!

    lol when I choose to have a cry now i get a cuddle a kiss on the forehead and asked if there is anything he can do to help instead of 'oh your crying AGAIN!!?? what for?? what do you mean you dont know why??'

    I know it sounds harsh but if i'm giving up work to raise our child and he comes home and the baby has been really hard work and ive not managed to get a handle on all the other stuff i am ment to be doing as well - i want him to understand how much is really involoved even if i dont get paid for it! & that unlike him i dont have a clocking out time! xxx
  • in a word YES my oh has been a total arsehole!!! he never does any washing or ironing he never cooks or cleans he doesnt even feed the cat!!!
    he has also told me HIS life will not change when the baby comes for example he is planning a lads hol when the baby is a few months old and if i say anything about this he gets the hump and says im being unreasonable!!!
    but just the other day i got him back and he didnt like it!! my dad is moving to devon next month so i told my oh i will be going to see him with the baby at least a couple of times while im on maternity leave and as he will be working i told him i will be going on my own, needless to say he didnt like it and got the hump lol
    but at least now he knows how it feel eh??
  • They are so crap arent they! Im liking the idea of going on strike!

    its been hard because he told me the other day that he is finding it hard to want to get close because the bump kinda freaks him out!!! - not the baby obviously but he cant get his head around the bump so sex out of the question. I understand this but felt upset especially as you feel unattractive as it is!!

    Anyway we went around a friends house last night (4 couples) it was a christians housewarming so no alcohol, anyway one of the other girls started majorly flirting with my hubby!! I mean touching his leg, leaning into him putting her head on his arm, saying to me 'oh i see why you married him hes lovley to cuddle' everyone could see how uncomfortable it was my poor hubby was so uncomfortable bless him. One of our other friends said 'if i didnt know better id say you were 2 were married!' she just didnt give up. I was sat the other side of her with heartburn and feeling really embaressed until hubby said come on lets go home and i walked out. Well you couldnt stop me cryig what a bitch!!! Hubby was so nice and said he didnt know what to do (he has no experience of women flirting!!!) but could not believe that a 'friend' or in fact her other half would just let her get away with it!

    sorry had to get that out of my system. what a bitch!!
    xx
  • Oh Darling... I've come across that as well! People trying it on with OH normally it wouldn't bother me because I feel I have an even chance of holding my ground... however being Massive and hormonal... I don't feel as able because I don't feel sexy! Before I even got pregnant though we have had an agreement (privately of course) lol... so I'm sharing it here! Haha but If someone is to flirt outrageously (a little bit of competition is good because it keeps us on our toes and appreciating what each of us have) but say we were in the situation you were in last night... that rather than Mate guarding (you defending your territory) your OH which ever way it might be gets up and walks away from flirtee (lol) and comes to you and pays you attention and flirts with you in front of them... sends out a far more effective message and makes the person chasing seem stupid! We have been together 6 years and met young so we just develop boundaries around what we both feel affects us... I mean no body likes to be made feel a spare wheel in there own relationship. Lol failing that I would of just embarrassed her by saying something quite loud and clear to the effect of -clearly you find my fella attractive, who can blame you... but do you really find it that necessary to KEEP touching him...' and say it laughing but they say many a thing meant is said in Jest! (or whatever they saying is) at least then you have made her feel self conscious about doing so... you might feel slightly shy about it at first but once you have the higher moral ground you been happy she is no longer all over him! Lol Seems for us at least this is really effective and we each do it for the other!
    As for Bump and it's off putting effects on sex... there are loads of ways he can show you he loves you and finds you attractive without having sex!
    1. Tell the other person that you love them
    2. Give or get a hug
    3. Make sure the other person feels important and respected
    4. Kiss when people are looking
    5. Kiss when people aren't looking
    6. Tell the other person that you care
    7. Hold hands
    8. Go for a long bike ride
    9. Give a special present
    10. Be there when they need a friend
    11. Spend time together
    12. Go to see a film
    13. Walk arm in arm in the woods
    14. Make a special tape of love songs
    15. Talk about your feelings
    16. Share dreams with each other
    17. Snuggle up together
    18. Sit together in the park
    19. Take a walk together
    20. Go out for a meal
    21. Have a picnic
    22. Play a game of frisbee
    23. Give compliments
    24. Relax in a jacuzzi
    25. Go swimming
    26. Just be close
    27. Go shopping for food
    28. Cook a meal together
    29. Touch each other in a loving way
    30. Do homework together
    31. Plan and go on a trip together
    32. Throw a party together
    33. Bake a cake
    34. Go to the library
    35. Browse in a museum
    36. Just be there
    37. Find out what's special for the other person - and do it
    38. Exercise together
    39. Gaze at each other
    40. Wash each other's cars (or bikes !)
    41. Go fishing
    42. Talk to each other
    43. Listen to worries
    44. Cut each other's toenails
    45. Choose a special favourite song
    46. Listen to joys
    47. Hold one another close
    48. Catch their eye
    49. Write one another letters
    50. Talk on the telephone
    51. Trust one another
    52. Give or receive a ring
    53. Meet each other's family
    54. Go hiking together
    55. Make sacrifices for each other
    56. Send chocolates
    57. Respect each other
    58. Go for a moonlight walk
    59. Hide a love note where the other will find it
    60. Give each other sexy looks
    61. Write a poem
    62. Send flowers
    63. Eat dinner by candlelight
    64. Go to a concert
    65. Watch the sunrise together
    66. Remember anniversaries
    67. Give each other pet names
    68. Go sightseeing
    69. Rent a video
    70. Do things for each other without being asked
    71. Propose marriage
    72. Whisper something nice into the other's ear
    73. Be best friends
    74. Have fun together
    75. Go out dancing
    76. Play music together
    77. Flirt with each other
    78. Laugh at something funny together
    79. Be faithful
    80. Impress each other
    81. Make a list of things you like about each other
    82. Read a book and discuss it
    83. Meet each other's friends
    84. Go horse riding
    85. Cook each other's favourite food
    86. Find out what makes each other happy
    87. Make presents for each other
    88. Wash each other's hair
    89. Watch the sunset
    90. Go for a bus trip
    91. Have a request played on the radio
    92. Send a funny card
    93. Share your plans for the future
    94. Play footsie
    95. Share private jokes
    96. Think about each other
    97. Find out what makes the other sad
    98. Go skating
    99. Swap rings
    100. Share an ice-cream
    101. Have your picture taken together

    I work with Young people and dont believe in telling them just Not to have sex but you raise the bar by telling them to delay and that sex should be pleasurable - and these are ways to show affection without 'doing it'.

    Also just remember that anyone flirting with us can make us feel attractive and give us a boost and sometimes its lapped up with no alteria intention just as a ego boost! xxx
  • It_Must_Be_Love, youve just made me laugh when you said your fella said 'oh your crying AGAIN!!' what for? what do you mean you dont know why!'. Sounds familiar.

    I had a bit of a sob last night - no idea why really apart from it seemed to stem from the fact that Saturday night tv is utter shite!! Hubby was like'what you crying for - whats wrong now!

    Bloody hormones!

    ANge

    36 wks
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