Nt Pg related but need a good old rant

I apologise in advance this is probably gunna be really boring and seem like im overreacting but I really just need to let off some steam.

Before easter I decided to try and get all my friends from school together over the easter hols because with a lot of them being at uni and others off doing other things we havent all seen each other in ages. So I sent the message out and things started to progress. This was just about the same time I announced I was pregnant as well.
So people started talking and it was decided we were going to a sea-side place we used to go when we were at school and the theme park there, which I was slightly miffed at since obviously id still have to pay to get in but wouldnt be able to go on anything-but I thought it'd still be nice seeing everyone.
One of my friends started taking over then, which she normally does to be honest and I just left her to it, but then she started talking about going to lazer quest as well. I pointed out that I wouldnt be able to do that either, but was pretty much ignored.
As the day was getting closer it was made pretty clear that they'd be going to the theme park and lazer quest..so there wouldnt be much time for anything else. I decided it would be best if I didnt go because id just be paying for petrol and admissions to places where I couldnt do anything, so I told them that and said id meet everyone in town for a meal some other time, which I thought was quite reasonable.
But after saying that I was basically attacked, not by the girl but by her boyfriend who pointed out that he wouldnt be going on much at the theme park either because he's scared of heights yet he was still going so really I had no excuse, and two other lads who basically accused me of being petty and pathetic. She jumped in every so often to point out how upset she was about everything (she's always been the little girl of the group) but I mean come on, no offense but im the one here with all the hormones who's being ganged up on by people who are suppost to be my friends because I didnt wanna spend ??50 + on a trip that I would just feel kinda left out on.

Anyway, that kinda all blew over, well I was still annoyed but I wasnt gunna say anything-until one of the lads started going on about how out of order I was and how he wasnt impressed with my behaviour to one of our other friends? Im sorry maybe its just me but I honestly still dont see what I did wrong!!! So I got really upset then, Id already cried over the whole thing a few times (yes pathetic I know but I couldnt help it) so I sent the lad who'd been talking behind my back a text telling him to speak to me if he had a problem in future instead of pretending he wants everyone to be friends but that bitching behind my back and I also made a nasty comment about him being pathetic and how he was spending so much time trying to get a girlfriend that he's forgot how to treat his friends (harsh I know and I shouldnt have dont it but I was really upset) I then sent the girls boyfriend a text asking why I bother watching everything I say and tip-toeing around people in case I hurt their feelings when my so called friends dont give a toss whether they hurt my feelings or not and actually seem spurred on when they do as if its either offensive to them or what they were actually aiming for. I didnt get a reply and I deleted all three of their numbers and facebooks.

Havent heard from any of them since, but im arranging a picnic for my birthday and asked a friend to ask everyone else about it, im having trouble with my phone and have lost a few numbers. She said yes and well, we didnt make a big deal out of our not speaking bit so she asked this lass whether she was going. I got a text then saying how confused she was (the one who took over the plans) because last she knew Id deleted her from facebook and now she's getting an invite to my picnic..so I text her back and just said ''Im gunna be completely honest with you, I was rly pissed at how I was treated before easter-not so much you but the lads. Then something Tim said to someone was the last straw. Its up to you come if you want, I did overreact, it was Tim who just really got to me''
She then text me back saying, i cant come anyway, I just wanted to know where I stand, Be annoyed if you want, oh I think Rob wants to know as well.

Sorry, I know all this must sound so petty but its really starting to just make me wanna strangle someone....did I not explain in the last text? I mean, she could have just said well I cant make it bt thanks for the invite......I didnt say I was still annoyed-in fact I semi-apologised



  • wow not got much advice hun but didnt want to read and run. It sounds like your friends are the ones with the problem not you. Of course you dont want to spend money you could be saving for the baby on a trip where you arent going to be able to do anything anyway! Being scared of heights is completley different, hes choosing not to go on things whereas you just cant and he could still do the laser quest. I think you've handeled the whole situation really well and if this girl doesnt want to come to your picnic its her problem, you admitted you over reacted so shes the one holding the grudge. As for the lad that gave you all the trouble I would invite him and let him make up his own mind, at least you've extended the hand of friendship and if he turns it down then that his problem.
  • I know its easier said than done but I would try to put it all behind you and concentrate on you and lo. At the end of the day if they were really good mates they wouldn't have gone on the way they did. I know I have pulled out of a few things whilst being pregnant - nights out and such and no one has fell out with me. I didn't even go to my best friends sons 1st birthday as she lives two hours away (can't sit in the car that long) and she was fine about it! Hope you are feeling better soon!!! Tammi xxx

  • Gosh, they sound unreasonable! I still haven't told one of my friends I am pregnant. (She was bridesmaid at my wedding). I haven't heard from her since September despite me making the effort. I can't be bothered with it and all the hassle!

    I would ignore them and let them be petty. I know it hurts but once you have your baby I'm sure they will be right over! And if they don't, they aren't really friends anyway.

    Hope you feel better for ranting though!


  • Thanks ladies, I do feel better just for getting it all down and to be honest I was starting to wonder if I was going mad. xxx


  • Hi
    Bless you, i agree with you, pregnancy is tiring and going to an amusement park and that whilst being pregnant just to make them feel better is selfish on their part, as for the blokes that started on u, what the hell do they know hey lol. Chin up hun and take care xxx
  • Hiya,

    You sound like me - the schmuck who's always trying to arrange get-togethers and generally persist with friendships when it's like flogging a dead horse. I've found that sometimes people just move on, especially when you get into a serious relationship or decide to get into a career or have a baby - priorities change and you have to leave certain friends to carry on running around laser quest while you get on with your life. Try not to be too upset about it but remember the good times with them and move on.

    I hope you don't mind this piece of 30-something advice - I feel like a hard-bitten old crone now! image
  • haha-dont worry weeza its great advice.
    It makes sense that people move on and I suppose that they're not going to fully understand the responsibilities that come with starting a family...although I was shocked at how little they seem to think being pregnant effects someones life.
    Its silly really, none of them were people who I thought id be friends with forever, the few who I did see as close friends have all been great with me. It just annoys me because of the way these particular ones act like they want everyone to be friends and how everything should be all fairytale like and peachy-yet they behave this way and I get the blame for it. Its just aggrivating more then anything else lol.


  • If its any consolation, I am no longer friends with any of the friends I went to school with, despite them being bridesmaids at my wedding just 8 months ago!
    Since falling pregnant, i have tried countelss times to arrange for us all to meet up and its just excuse after excuse.
    My 'bestest' friend has not even reposnded at all to half of my text messages and has phoned me once to see how the pregnancy is going! That was about 4 months ago and nothing since!
    So I give up.
    I have since met some lovely friends on my NCT classes. I also knew of a friend of a neighbour who had just a had a baby and when i saw her in town a few months ago, I kind of stalked her up the street and got chatting, We are now really good friends!
    It's amazing how quickly friendhips can break down but also how quickly you can make them.
    Try enrolling on some antenatal classes if you haven't already hun.
    You could make some great friends and these could truly be friends for life because you will build up a bond through going through pregnancy together and your children will grow up together and you will be at the same stage in life.
    Good luck.....

    31+2. xx
  • Yikes, who needs enemies with friends like these?

    How many of them are married or have kids... bet not many if any. Maybe they are finding it difficult to ajust to you being married and pregnant and want to keep things the way they were... when they decide to start families of their own, trust me they will remember and be embasssed by their behaviour

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