Breast feeding worriers..

Hey Girls,

I've been chatting to my fella about things that will happen as the baby arrives and I have said that if I have enough milk I really would like to 'try' and breast feed...

Simon seems quite worried about this for two reasons, Firstly I think he is worrying about being 'left out' and Secondly I think he is concerned about me getting my boobs out in public... I am really not that shy and feel that's what they are there for, but he is far more private and reserved than I am...

I would like to include him in this Pregnacy and child rearing as much as possible he will make a wonderful Daddy and we have both wanted this for a long time. I am aware that there is a slight power imbalance as it seems the woman has all the choices. I know that breast is best and all that and I am aware that i can express milk, which I'm willing to do and he knows about.

Really, what I am wantting is to know how to include Simon and give him reasurance that its the best option if possible without completely over riding him and pulling rank?

Many Thanks lovely girlies and I hope Santa was as good to you all as he was to me! image

Posts

  • I breast fed my lo and my hubby was very supportive of my choice.
    I found the best way to keep him involved was to express as u mentioned so he could do feeds, formula is also possible although our daughter wouldn't have it. The best way we found is for me to feed and the the dh to wind which he loved, as for bf in public, didn't bother me either but if u want to keep peace there are more and more feeding rooms when out/about but do wat eva u both feel more comfortable with.

    There are plenty of other things he can do to be more involved bath times could be his, ortaking baby out for a walk to get a pape at the weekends? u'll work it out i'm sure!! xxxxxxx
  • Hi,

    I'm hoping to be able to breast feed too, but I am a pretty private person and don't intend to display all when I am out and about. I have got a breast pump for when feeding has become more established, and have been buying tops that will allow me to feed my lo discreetly.
    Why not talk to your oh about how he feels and reach some compromises? You can always be discreet when feeding in public to save his blushes, and express some milk later on so he can share the feeding duties. Obviously it is a personal decision but for me it seems so much easier to breastfeed (all being well!) then having to make up bottles etc. Maybe talking about the pros and cons of both will help him feel like he is sharing the decision making.

    Good luck with it!

    Liz 39+5 x
  • Thank you girls did even know about the feeding rooms I might put it to him that I will use those when ever possible, will express milk for places were going that I cant (it will just take a bit more planning or a phone call a head) and I love the idea of giving him winding duties I'm sure this will be good for him to know! xx


    I'm roughtly 9 weeks and 3 days (haven't had a dating scan yet) xxxx
  • U couldalso buy some bags to express into that are made by Lani....something....same people that do the nipplecream.... anyway they say mummies milk on the bag and once u express u can freeze them for up to a month so can "stock up"!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • sorry if this offends but if ur oh wants to be included in feeding sammie she could try using a breast pump towards the end of ur pg which can actually stimulate milk flow for the baby, i have a female friend who recently had a surrogate pg and did this so she could feed her newborn.
    xxxxxxxxx
  • There's nothing to stop your oh sitting with you both while you feed, and stroking the baby as you feed him etc, and the 3 of you can bond. As for breastfeeding in public, it is possible to be discreet to the extent that no one need know you are doing it, unless they are properly staring at you!
    It might also be worth showing your oh some of the benefits for you in breastfeeding, reduced risk of breast cancer etc, which should convince him - it's not just the baby that gets the health benefits!
    Just as an aside, you say you want to 'try' to breastfeed - i went to a breastfeeding group run by my midwife the other week, and she advised starting feeding with the attitude of 'i'm going to breastfeed', rather than 'i'm going to try to breastfeed', as she's found that a positive outlook can be quite helpful at the start, and that if you're determined to do it, then it makes it easier. That said, i've not done it yet, but i'm not even going to buy formula 'just in case', so that i have to persevere with it even if it's tough going at the start.
    best of luck whatever you decide to do.
    xx
  • its very possible, i think she started about 7 months along everday, don't really know the ins and outs neva thought to ask but i'm sure there's info on the net.
    I think the breast pump develops the milk glands and then baby suckling will make the milk come in which u get normally 3 days after birth ......well i did.
    U could speak to ur doc they may be able to offer xxxxxxxxxxx
  • Hello!
    I am 9 weeks in to exclusively breastfeeding my baby boy. I am sure my OH would like to feed him more often but I have not been expressing too much milk as yet. He's loved the few feeds he's been able to give him.
    Because I don't want to him to feel left out I make him in charge of other things - for example, I rarely bathe the baby as that is OH's job and he loves it. When he does it I leave them to get on with it completely, Daddy dries him, gets him changed and then has cuddles with his lovely clean boy afterwards.
    Also, after I have finished a feed (during the day!) OH gets to wind him too so he definately has his role to play.
    As for getting your bangers out in public, well I have to say I've not yet been in a situation where I have needed to (like a restaurant or something) because it's relatively easy to plan around, but if I am at someone's house or have visitors I don't hesitate to whip them out and feed my screaming boy! You can get nursing tops, or drape a scarf over yourself to cover up and most people wouldn't even know you are feeding, they'd just think you were cuddling baby.
    Good luck with everything - if you choose to do it, being able to breastfeed your baby is amazing.
    Tracey
    xxx
  • Hi,

    I had my baby a week ago and always planned on breastfeeding, i was very determined to make it work, the first couple of days were so hard but i never thought about giving up.

    Now he's a week old and doing really well, he latches on straight away and feeds perfectly.

    I would highly recommend breastfeeding, once you get the hang of it its so convenient, he wakes, he cries you feed him in seconds, no going downstairs to prepare a bottle, no sterilising, no making up bottles!

    Its working really well with my husband, we (at the moment-while he's off work!) have a routine where he changes his nappy before a feed so he is involved with things, as for getting your boobs out in public, just chuck a blanket over your shoulder! thats all i plan to do, once the baby is latched on you can't see anything anyway, just looks like you are cradling your baby!
    I really hope you stick to your guns and do breast feed i promise you won't regret it, its so amazing!

    Good luck

    Samantha and Baby Ellis
  • Thanks very much girls I have spoken a bit more to my OH although he is still not completely over the moon about the idea but we have agreed to try for at least the first 6 weeks and some real experiance make a dission from there... it's still very early days i'm on 9 weeks and it's out first child so we'll learn as we go along. image
  • but could she really do that??
    wow im gonna tel her wen she comes home-shel be really excited hehe
    think she will look at me like im stupid though
    but its worth a go hehe

    of course i wasnt offended, lol it would take bit more than that

    sammie





    I have a book called 'What to expect, the first year' which has a section about adopting babies in it. It has quite a long section about stimulating milk flow in non birth mothers so it might be worth a look. It is actually a really good book any way, I used it loads for referance with my lo. Asda sell it fairly cheaply.
    Hope that helps
    Kerry
  • Thanks very much girls I have spoken a bit more to my OH although he is still not completely over the moon about the idea but we have agreed to try for at least the first 6 weeks and some real experiance make a dission from there... it's still very early days i'm on 9 weeks and it's out first child so we'll learn as we go along. image
    Hope it all works out for you. At least he has agreed that you should give it a try, it is always really hard to know how you will feel about things like this untill you have tried it. He may find that it doesn't bother him at all once the baby is here. It might be worth having a look at a sling that you can use when feeding, freedom slings make several different sorts (www.freedomslings.co.uk or on Ebay), as with these you can't see anything at all when you are feeding and you keep your hands free so you can multitask too!
    Kerry
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