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Big age gap? step parent issues?

Hi i was wondering if anyone else had huge age gaps between their children. My daughter will be 10 by the time baby is here. like me she is going to be an early developer (34bcup while stillin juniors) at the minute im really struggling to keep my patience with hwer she is so stroppy, one minute she is kind and loving and the next she's sky high bouncing off the walls. my partner is only 24 and sometimes she is really horrible to him and i know he feels hurt by it cos he would never retaliate and say something back. thing is i was on my own with her for years (4) and although i had the odd fling during that time she never knew any of it. Marc is the only person been allowed into her life. She's really close to her dad and like me he was single for years and now he has a young gf of 23. i can understand some of her hurt and worry and have reassured her that she is the single most important person in my life but she is definately an all or nothing gal. im worried about how she'l be with baby, she said she's excited but i dunno. any advice?? :roll:


  • I was in a similar situation but with a son! He didnt like anyone else being in my life, he had been my life for 8 years before his little brother was born. He even hated the fact I was back with his dad but when his little brother was born he absolutely adored him! I made sure there was a lot of fuss made over both of them but I just see in the piccys when I look back now - I had nothing to worry about where his feelings for my little one were concerned!

    Now 7 years on they fight like cat and dog lol
  • Hopefully some reassurance about your 10yr old. No step-parent issues, but I was 10 when my little brother was born and it was just brilliant - you might find having a baby in the house takes her mind off niggling at Marc!
  • don't know if this will be any help but my oh was the youngest of 3 when his mom &dad divorced, he was nearly 3yrs,

    Oh was never really close to his mother and far from spoiled but when she met his stepdad was angry mostly at his age,(young anothe to be his brother)
    when she had his brother my oh was 19 and not only had to get use to a new family but also change and share his room, as soon as she had baby my oh spent nearly every day for the first 18m looking after baby and they still now have a good relationship, and as for his stepdad my oh talks to him more than he does his mother,

    things have a way of working out, fingers crossed for you, xxx

  • Don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know that your situation's far from unusual these days. My daughter's 14, she too was an early developer, in many ways she seems to have come through the worst of the hormonal stuff & is generally a great girl. Me & hubby (not her dad) are expecting first baby together in 5wks, & to be honest she's been nothing but positive about it, she's so excited about having a little sister & doesn't seem the slightest bit jealous, but I do know where you're coming from - had she been a few years younger I think I'd have worried about jealousy.

    Hope everything works out okay - I'm sure it will.
  • Got every sympathy 4 u I have 2 children a girl of9 going on19 & a boy of 7 he really excited & SO IS SHE IN WAYS im just keeping my fingers crossed all will b ok good luck 2 us all xxx
  • I am kind of the other way about. My husband has a son of 7 and he has never been hateful at all to me. Now that me and his Daddy are married and have Kara it makes no difference at all. He is not one bit jealous and loves having her around and helps me out great when he is here. He loves being a big brother and is very protective. However on the other hand I don't know what he would be like if his mum got a boyfriend as he is a mummy's boy and he is used to it only being him and his mum for the past 6 years. He is used to me being with his daddy from he was young.

    I wouldn't worry about jealousy. I would just involve them in the baby's routine from early on e.g. getting nappies, bottles, holding them etc
  • Hi I am in a similar situation, I am 33 weeks pregnant with my first baby and also have a step daughter who will be 15 in July. At first she was very against this baby and blamed me for it (sure last time I checked it takes two!) however she later admitted that she still wanted to be her daddys little girl and has really come round to the idea. Think it has helped that she has been invloved in things such as picking names and is now wanting to come to the birth too! You will need to reassure her when the baby comes that she is still important to you both but can also play a huge part in your babys life too! I am sure it will just take a little adjusting but will all work out in the end! Tammi xxx
    33.4 wks
  • ive got 2 girls who are 9 and 6 and im expecting my third baby sept i thought i was just getting my life looking for work and going out then meet my new partner and i fell pregnant so back to staying at home even though new partner is great with my other 2 i worry that he will push them to 1 side when the baby arrives
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