dads in the delivery room

jenc1984 · Apr 30, 2007 6:56AM

hi everyone was just wondering what people think of their partners being in the delivery room? how did your oh cope and was he any use or did you scream at him the whole time and did he get in the way? heard of blokes who find sex a bit weird after seeing the birth? What are you all planning to do or have done previously?
Im not due til sept but been talking with oh and he wants to be there right the way through and cut the cord. Im lucky I know that he wants to be involved but I cant help wondering is he going to be more of a hindrance than a help? LOL that sounds awful its just I have been thinking about it loads and i was hoping some of you could share your experiences, pleeease???

SazzyJay · Apr 28, 2007 12:39PM

My oh wants to be there, although it is MY wishes that noone but midwife or drs sees my bottom end. I know I've been with my oh for years now but the thought of him seeing my foo in labour scares me! Not cos I'm embarrassed but cos I think he'll be petrified and pass out!!! I'm due in October so ages away yet and I could change my mind a million times before then but thought I'd share what I think xxx

pen-37297 · Apr 28, 2007 1:01PM

hi. my hubby has been there for our last 4 babies to be born. he has been marvoulous, and he knows what i like and don't like in the delivery room. he just leaves me alone to get on with it and sits in the corner then there is a point that i get to in labour that he knows it's his cue to hold my hand and stay with me at my side until baby makes an appearance. i just squeeze his hand when needed. we really connect well in the delivery room. he is very supportive. so i look forward having this baby with him there.xx

SazzyJay · Apr 28, 2007 1:19PM

Awh pen thats lovely. You must be super mam with 4 kids and anotehr on the way! YummyMummy - I havent decided if I want my mam there yet - I may ask my sister as shes just been thru it herself twice recently - and even just asked me and oh to be godparents - we're over the moon!! xx

FunkyRabbit · Apr 28, 2007 1:33PM

My OH was there before and will be again, he is anything but a hindrance. He knows what I want and when, he's encouraging and even at the quieter moments, its just good having him there. He also loved watching the baby come out and I would never deny him that, he helped put it there after all and it was certainly an experience he didnt want to miss. He is my best friend after all and no-one else would compare as a birth partner for me.

pen-37297 · Apr 28, 2007 1:41PM

for my first baby my mum was there as well as my hubby. we both wanted her there 1-because she had gone through it before and would know how i was feelin at points through the labour and 2- my hubby wanted her there just in case anything should have gone pear shaped so there was support for both of us. she was great. and since then my hubby has done it alone with me and my mum now stays at home to look after my other kids whilst i am in hospital. i definately think it helps having another close female in the room with you that has been through childbirth as they can connect and support you.and most women like thier hubbies to be there as it is such a special time in a relationship, something that you have both made and are bringing into the world. my hubby has said that seeing our kids being born has topped our wedding day.and i agree with him, it is so special.he is always so emotional when our kids are born and really shows his emotions, and i respect him for that.but some people just like it to be them and hubby, it's all down to personal preferences. how ever it happens it will always be special.xx

han21 · Apr 28, 2007 2:32PM

Hi ya, i really want my OH there, in fact, i really cant imagine the birth without him! i dont want to do it alone! ok- so i know he cannot push for me (would be nice) but i think he should deffinatly be there by my side to experience every part (painful bits too!! like finger crushing and wrist twisting! at one point i really wanted my mum there too as she has already been there and everything but when i really thought about it i decided that the two of us made this little life and the two of us should be together in the delivery ward when it happens as it is special. thats how i feel anyway. I think i want him to stay up by my head but knowing him (being a man and loving gore and all that) he will probably be down there shouting out how disgusting it all looks!! im a bit worried this might put him off sex but then again being a man... probably not! a friend of mine told me that she still cant bear her bum to her hubby because the baby was delivered in a sqauting position and her hubby kept shouting out "hey it looks like our baby is coming out of ur ars*e!!" LOL

AngelBlue · Apr 28, 2007 3:00PM

My o/h will definatley be there again, he was fantasic last time and he really wants to be there again. He held babe just after she was born and the look on his face was great! There is no way that I could go through it without him there to hold my hand and massage my back!!! lol

joey_xx · Apr 28, 2007 4:54PM

hi, my oh was there and will be there again if i have another, he was fantasic. he made me so at ease, he was strokin my ears, and was doing the breathing part with me. i found with him being there i got threw it better. i was in the squatin position(looks lik baby is cuming out of my bum) but my oh kept putting heart monitor on my baby after every contraction,relly helped the midwives they said. he rubbed my ears and he give me his fingers to chew on(weird i no but it helped me). i kept asking how far i had to go and how far was the babies head out, and he would say'o its nearly here now my love'! lol i cant thankx him enough. and about the sex after child birth, its not put my hubby off at all. NOW afta all the pain i went threw, my oh says he as the most respect anyone could hold for me.lol. well gud luck. jolene

starfly · Apr 28, 2007 5:32PM

My hubby was there for the birth, I too had reservations - I thought he would be a hindrance he didn't seem bothered about doing any "reading up" about labour and seemed to think he could just turn up and everything would be fine! However he was fantastic! As we wrote my birthplan together - he knew exactly what I wanted/needed, he helped me breathe and focus, I couldn't have coped without him. Oh and I always said that I wanted him to stay up by my head but I ended up having a waterbirth and to be honest by the time i was pushing and dosed up on gas & air I didn't really care who was down there! Also my hubby told me that it was truly breathtaking watching our little girl come into the world and I'm glad he saw it now as he has managed to fill me in on the bits i missed through my gas and air stupour! Oh and it did not ruin sex for us either lol! Sarah xxx

mama_milf · Apr 28, 2007 5:37PM

It depends on whether or not he's squeemish? My OH always said he would stay up head end when we were having our first but he surprised us both when he stayed mainly 'messy end' and was cheering me on like a race horse ...and once our daughter had the cord looped from around her neck, he even cut it! When we had our second he was a bit back and fourth just making sure i was alright and kept stroking my leg (which was a bit repetitive and annoying ...bless him!) but he didn't cut the cord, as it was wrapped really tightly round her neck and had to be clamped and cut on the way out. It didn't put mine off sex (we are expecting baby no.3!) and this time we'll take it as it comes but i definitely found it reassuring having him there as it gave me someone to talk to and rub my back ect. PLUS i wouldn't be so kind as to let him off not being in there with me ...It's his fault I'M in there in the first place! Good luck xx

nikki78-46095 · Apr 28, 2007 7:14PM

hi my oh was in on both the births and will be on this one, although hes not allowed past my elbow. he has been great at both births we discussed what i wanted and didn't want and his job is to convey what i want to the midwifes which he did and so made things much easier. Like he had to go and tell midwife i needed gas and air until she went and got it. I also apologized in advance to him in case i am horrible to him. Last time he was trying to be soothing by saying sshh but i thought he was telling me to be quiet the midwife had a funny smirk as my answer was something along the lines of don't tell me to shut up but with more swearing in it!!

It's such a personal experience and something you've both git to be happy with but the look on my husbands face when hes cradleing our newborn makes it all so special.:\)

Kim_Blakes_Mummy · Apr 29, 2007 3:53AM

my fiance will definitely be with me when i am giving birth - im having a homebirth!! but we have both agreed that i dont want him anywhere near the 'bottom' end as 1. i dont like the thought of him seeing that area in that context, and 2. he isnt too good with blood lol. but im really glad he wants to be there as i wouldnt choose anyone else if he didnt want to, so would end up alone! im due tomorrow so hoping everything happens soon x x x

leet1976 · Apr 29, 2007 4:38AM

my oh will be there, he's really worried about it but he wants to be there for me, pillow end only, i don't want him to see the other end, besides i'm sure he'd pass out if he saw any of that end!! he does want to cut the cord though, but he's also worried about that!! i wouldn't do it without him(not that i'd have a choice!!) he was the one who got me in this situation in the 1st place therefore he has to be there!! only kidding! wouldn't want him to miss the birth of our first child. Em xx

tobyt2000 · Apr 29, 2007 8:13AM

My OH is going to be at the birth and he is really nervous about it. Our hospital only allows one birth partner otherwise I had thought about having my mum there too to support me and OH. I just hope I won't be too obnoxious towards him! I am quite anxious about the whole thing though! :roll:

blueybluey · Apr 29, 2007 10:36AM

I am planning to have my oh there as well as my mum if all goes well. Im sure i'll be a bit anxious about him seeing me in a state but wouldnt want just my mum (would do my head in!) and he knows me better than any1

paisley0403 · Apr 29, 2007 11:04AM

My OH was there for my daughters birth and he was the only person I did want at the time. He stayed head end and gave me loads of comfort and only touched me if I asked him to which was very wise! Although I cut the cord myself, something I was and am very proud of! We are planning for this one to be exactly the same. Scan tomorrow...can't wait!

sibles24 · Apr 29, 2007 12:13PM

My oh was present for both my labours - tho for the first one he wasn't quite with it if you know what I mean!! My labour progressed alot quicker than anticipated, it was 2 days before Christmas, all of a sudden I was ready to push, the room filled - and I mean filled - up, there was probably 10-12 people in the room, all of a sudden I felt his hands slipping away from mine, the next thing I know the midwife was saying 'I can't move I have the dad between my knees!!' He'd fainted, luckily he was only out of it for seconds and managed to see his daughter born - for obvious reasons he didn't cut the cord!! For my second there was him, and 2 midwives in the room, completely different and he was fantastic, rubbing my back offering encouragement, really helpful. Hopefully he will be just as supportive 3rd time round as I'm opting for a home birth - Sam xx

miracleinme · Apr 29, 2007 2:09PM

At first my OH was not too keen as he did not want to see me in pain and he felt he could not cope with the gore! I said I only want him to be there if he wants to and i won't be offended if he decied not to be there. BUT now he has decided that he wants to be there! I am pleased but a bit concerned that he may pass out as he does get a bit squeamish...he is welcome to be at the 'action' end if he chose to be - I know my husband and NOTHING would put him off sex! My step mum will be there too as we are close and she is also a midwife! X

Critters-Mum-Claire21 · Apr 29, 2007 4:46PM

Not sure yet. My husband is squeamish and if the truth be known would rather drink bleach or eat his own arm than be there when I'm in labour. We have discussed this "lightly" a few times and with comments like - well I'll be there if you really want, but i'm not going down the mucky end, not really putting my mind at rest. I said to him recently that if I happen to crap myself in labour that they are really discreet and tidy you up without even knowing - to which he replied - what do they do if I shit myself. Not helpful. My mum hasn't helped matters by telling him that she didn't want my dad there when we were born, she wanted full make up on before he came in the room, whilst my dad sat downstairs watching the sweeney and eating casserole. Whether or not he changes his mind remains to be seen, or if he'd be any help - he wasn't that active at the conception!!!!!!! xx

jenc1984 · Apr 30, 2007 3:46AM

good morning everyone. thankyou for all the replys!
I was fretting mostly because I have heard some horror stories but it sounds like the majority of you have had good experiences.Im a worrier anyway I worry bout everything and anything! think i would like oh to be up near my head but to be honest i reckon at the time i wont care!!!
had a motorbike accident a few years ago was all gory and horrible (wont go into details here!) and he was actually brilliant so i am going to try to stop fretting over it!
lol lardarse!
thankyou all for your replys!!! xx

dads in the delivery room

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