Should I go?

Hi all

I've been invited to a hen weekend that will probably be on 4/5 April - 3 weeks before my due date. The daytime will include various sporting activities which clearly I won't be partaking in! But the evening will be dinner & drinks and an overnight stay in a hotel (bog standard Travel Inn type thing!). It will be approx. 1.5hrs from my home - hubby has kindly offered to drive me and fetch me again if I am too big to drive (mind you the rate I am going, I doubt that!!!)

The thing is, so the hen planner can plan - I do have to let her know fairly soon (totally understandable hey!) but my concern is what if things change dramatically before then... its approx. ??100 and I guess I can't really afford to lose that money if I end up having to cancel at last minute.

There is also the factor of what if I do go into labour (unlikely I know!)!!! I don't want to be apart from hubby or away from my local hospital.

The hen is a girl I work with, I get on incredibly well with her and we go out outside of work too with our partners. But having only known her for a year ish, we aren't long time friends.

So would you go if you were in my pickle? Well not pickle as such but ish!

Joo xxx


  • Ooh I don't know....

    If it was one of my best friends I think I'd go (I have had the same friends since school!) and possibly have hubby on stand by in case I did go into labour early...

    Otherwise I think I'd probably say that at 37 weeks its too far from home and would probably be an exhausting day...

    (Although when I go on maternity leave I plan to spend 10 days or so (36-38 weeks) in Cornwall at my parents house and that is 3 hours away....)

    Are you going to their wedding?


  • It's a tough one. We've got two weddings - one 22nd Aug and one 31st Aug and I'm due 11 Sept. Both are about 2 hours away as well. But both are our cousins so I don't really feel I can't go. Will have to wait and see nearer the time. It's still early days I suppose (7+6 today!)

    I think if I was in your shoes I probably wouldn't go... my sis was about 5 months at my hen do and really didn't enjoy it. She came for the meal but then didn't come out for drinks and just went to bed bless her.
    I know it's a long way but could you go just for the evening part and not stay over? Or say you will see how you feel nearer the time and either book room separately or not stay over. x
  • I hate to say this, Joo, but I probably wouldn't. I did an overnight trip to London (2.5 hours from where we live) at 34 weeks for a publicity event and ended up absolutely shattered! In fact, I was so tired that I was up half the night (if that makes sense.) It ended up taking me a full day to recover once we got back and I said decided that was it, I wasn't traveling that far from home again until after the baby arrives.

    Which means that we are having to turn down an invitation to the engagement party of some really good friends, also in London. It is basically drinks at a pub that they have rented out for the evening, but we would have to stay overnight and I know I will end up completely exhausted again. Given that I will be 38 weeks at that point, it just isn't worth it. I'm sleeping in my own bed until I get to hospital!

    I would explain the situation to both the organiser and the bride-to-be. I'm sure they will understand. Beyond the potential lost money, it just won't be worth the exhaustion and consequent stress, I don't think.
  • I dont think I would go either.

    I am going to a hen night on 21st Feb and am already wondering if I should be or not and I will only be 31 weeks. Just because I am not sure how much I will enjoy being the 'big bird'( I am quite big already at 27wks) and watching everyone else get drunk around me! But I am going and will prob enjoy it. At 37weeks and being that far away from home over night also I think I would probably send myself into labour panicking!

    Also isnt that the weekend you would have just finished work? I think you may be quite tired by then (I know I plan to sleep for the 1st few days of mat leave if baby allows!)
  • I don't think I would want to risk it actually. I am now 37 + 5 and am staying quite close to home just in case. Am also very tired and the thought of a night-out let alone a weekend away fills me with dread! xxx
  • I don't think I would go either, if it was drinks somewhere close then I prob would but when its an overnight and you need to pay out for it then I don't think I would bother.
    I've been to a couple of friends birthday drinks fairly close to home and told them that I'd not know til that evening if I can make it as it depends on how bump is behaving. if you get braxton or something then you won't be able to go along. Most people are very understanding and if you invite her for lunch or something before the wedding then she'll prob be fine.
    none of my pregnant friends came to my hen party and it was ok.


  • hi hun,

    I've got a hen do at the end of February, when I will be 35 weeks. They are going ice skating (I'm going to be mum and take pics, and look after bags!) and then having food and they'll be having drinks. I think there are other things planned as well, but I'm not sure what yet. Fortunately for me it's in the town where I live, so although all of them are staying over in a luxury apartment together, I've decided to drive home, only about 10 minutes, as i know i'll be more comfortable in my bed. I've had to pay ??45 towards it which wasn't too bad, if it was more, like yours at ??100, I probably wouldn't feel so comfortable paying. I was a little bit annoyed at paying ??45, as I'm not doing the ice skating, not staying over and obviously not drinking, but have paid it anyway.

    Is there anyway you can let her know a bit closer to the time. I know from organising my hen do last year, that numbers are important but one won't hurt. I had one girl who was pregnant and I left it up to her to tell me, as I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I also had a couple of friends who didn't pay until the weekend as they were having money problems. surely your friend can make an exception for you?

    Cas 32 weeks today!!
  • Thanks for the replies everyone - much appreciated to get a different perspective and make me feel better that if I decided not to go, I wouldn't be a miserable cow for it.

    Goonie... we have been invited to their wedding - the evening reception only - but its 1 week after my due date so we are probably going to decline the invite. If Angus hasn't arrived, we would go and pop our heads in for a couple of hours. If Angus is here, we won't go. I would love to say ???????can we come if baby isn't here but not come if baby is he??????? but I would feel a bit guilty about that, as having got married myself, I know how irritating it can be with guests cancelling at last minute etc. and I really don't want to do that to my friend.

    Em... my sister was about 34 weeks at my hen do and she went home after the meal too, she was knackered!!! I like your idea of just going for the meal but going home... I know hubby would drive me there and back and keep himself occupied during the meal, he really would. Maybe that is an option?

    Dinks... yep that's the weekend I finish work so I can't tell you how much I would be looking forward to doing BUGGER all that weekend!!! LOL

    Thanks to you all for your kind and honest responses - its really appreciated as only you guys will be able to help me get an idea of how I'll feel.

    Hubby doesn't think I should go, he thinks 3 weeks before my due date is just too much for me bless him.

    I'll let you know what I decide! Thankfully, my friend and her sister both know I am pregnant etc. and I am positive they will be really understanding about it.

    27 + 6

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