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Arguing.....
A conversation I had with a girl I work with this morning has got me thinking about couples who argue. Me and hubby argue a bit, mainly over petty things and they are normally over quite quickly. BUT my friend was saying that she and her OH NEVER argue! Literally never!!
Now I always hear that arguing is healthy in a relationship and I can't understand how a couple who live together, have a kid together and have been together almost 10 years never argue if they are being completely open and honest with eack other.
So do you and your OH argue and what do you think it healthiest in a relationship. xxx
Now I always hear that arguing is healthy in a relationship and I can't understand how a couple who live together, have a kid together and have been together almost 10 years never argue if they are being completely open and honest with eack other.
So do you and your OH argue and what do you think it healthiest in a relationship. xxx
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Replies
We dont have huge blazing rows very often (and the making up after those is always excellent!) but I think arguing shows you're passionate about each other. I find it hard to believe that you could be with someone and agree on everything, so I agree its more likely that they arent open and honest with each other xx
36+1
My parents hardly EVER argue. I remember when I was 12 and I saw them 'argue' for the first time (but when I say argue - most people wouldn't even have noticed!) but it was just so abnormal for them that I was convinced they were going to get a divorce based on a heated disagreement they had for all of five minutes :OD When I realised how much my husband and I were arguing a few years ago I stood back and took a look at how we deal with disagreements and how my parents do. I realised that my OH and I were very immature in our way of dealing with things. Rather than behave like adults and talk it out and try and reach a compromise I'd let myself get wound up and angry and then it just spiralled out of control. We're both much happier now, I lose my temper rarely and everything is generally much more chilled out on the home front (which has to be good training for when we become parents in January).
So... to cut my waffling short - I think every relationship will have healthy debate, couples can't agree on everything - but there are definitely healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with disagreements.
We argue (as in raised voices, sulking, me in tears, that type of thing! lol) possibly once a month if that? And we both know the best way for us to deal with it, so even though we might both lose our tempers we NEVER say anything hurtful or spiteful and it always gets sorted in the end. Its normally over something that's just built up and up and needs 'exploding'! lol Which is healthier than keeping it locked up inside.
We're happy, we know what works, and we know that our silly disagreements each day are because we're both stubbon, he doesn't see mess (he's admitted that to me!! lol), and I get frustrated easily at the moment! It's only ever the proper 'arguments' that cause any tension, and we never have those in front of ANYONE, so wouldn't dare anywhere near a baby.
Talking is the most important thing. For sure. Just remember that an 'argument' to one person, is a simple conflict of opinion to another! lol
C xxx
I have had relationships where we argued alot but its different with hubby, not sure why really, just dont ever seem to get mega angry with him!! xx
This is our first baby though, so things may well change
I think whether arguing is 'healthy' totally depends on the couple in question. I have been in argumentative relationships before and been really miserable, and I would be miserable if hubby and I argued. Whereas my friend and her partner argue like crazy but wouldn't have it any other way!
Saying that, Once the sleepless nights are here, I'm sure there will be arguments aplenty!! lol