OH's Vices?

Anyone else feel annoyed at OH's vices? :evil:

I've done everything with in my power in this pregnancy to make sure everything is right and healthly! & I know that he is intitled to his 'treats' but I just get frustrated that he hasn't even seemed to make an effort to cut back... I may well just be being irrational and especially because since getting pregnant I don't really get any treats - we worked out our money the other week and he spends like ??280 roughtly on things he fancies drinking, smoking, records (he DJ's for pleasure) and I get my nails done - which is like ??15 every two to three weeks! I panicked a bit when we worked it out and got all emotional as some of you may have read that my contract finished at work and now were both dependant upon his wage - which is fine and he is genourous with me - but having worked out all our join bills he is spending our joint disposiable income! I suggested that I stop getting my nails done even tho it doesnt really cost that much and the plum bloody well agreed! :x

Oh I was so annoyed because i was only really offering so that he would do the same! which he says he will but hasn't as of yet! We have been together 6 years and we have always earned good money each and been able to treat our selves to our hearts are content - holidays - two cars - weekends away - going out for dinner and cocktails - new clothes ect but I just feel like he is not grasping with a baby and only one wage and moving in somewhere we just WONT be able to live like that any longer!!

I am a worrier to be fair :\? and he has agreed to open a join bank account and redirect his wage and all of our direct debts to make sure the bills are paid! But he just spends money like its water and just goes with out when he hasn't got it - i just can't live like that! I don't want a flash plasma telly and to sit in the dark because the electric bill came in at the 'wrong' time of the month! :roll:

He just laughts and says it will be alright! and everything is ALWAYS just a little treat - and he is always telling me to 'treat myself' he is not tight by any means i swear he just thinks that if he doesn't use the money by the time his next wage is due in that they take it back off him :lol: and start the balance at Zero again!

He laughts at me because i like to have a little bit of just encase money - washing matchine breaks needs meanding - a surprise bill ect he says i must hide a money tree! I don't but my mum brought me up on her own on a nurses wage and as she got unwell ive had to look after the running of the house - I don't want to sit in the dark (he laughts says it wont get to that) or worry about the next bill! but he'll just stick something on the credit card if he doesn't have the money at the time - augh!! I'm sure he thinks its free money!

any way wondering if anyone else feels like this? how i could be more dipolmatic with him? ease him off our lavish life style? explain my worrieds without 'nagging'? & with out me turning into a militant hormonal crazy bills lady - beucase of course i love to have and do all those nice things too! our life is lovely and i want our child to expecraice nice things as well (without being spoilt of course) xxx image

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  • Hmm.. a tricky one! I understand what you're saying totally but I don't have the magic answer.

    A joint bank account is a good idea (well I think so!). We don't see it as my money and his money but as our money. I do earn a lot more than hubby and it doesn't bother him - he jokes he's a kept man! I worry that when I'm on maternity we won't manage and hubby feels bad he doesn't earn a great wage because he doesn't want baby to go without in the first few months - I'm sure it won't though.

    Maybe you could talk to him again and sit down explaining you could try being 'sensible' for a month and see how it goes and how much money you could save??

    xxx
  • The thing is I just don't think we'll have enough to save or that he understands the concept of it in the first place! If its there - it's there to be spent! Of course I love him and we all love getting treats! but i just cant seem to explain to him we just cant have them like we used to that we had two really good wages for two adults now we only have one and three of us have to live on it! If he sees something he likes he just buys it and can't understand why ive stopped doing the same! I am a worrier tho!
  • Thats a really tough one. I don't think you are being too much of a 'worrier' at all, it is important to know that you can cope when the baby arrives. It sounds as though your oh doesn't realise how stressed you are getting, and hasn't really thought about how much your life is about to change! I think you definitely need to talk to him about how you feel. Maybe you could try to scare him a little by drawing up a list of baby items that you still need to buy with a rough costing- and ask him how he suggests you pay for them if he is spending all of your disposable income!
  • I don't think you are a worried, you are just being sensible! Let us know how you get on talking to him about it all. I do try and think twice about buying stuff now and hubby is beginning too!
  • We have bought quite a bit already - just need the cot/bed! and we have put some money away for white goods and have got loads to move in with! I think i am just felling really overwhelmed - to finish work, expect a baby and move in together for the first time all at once! we have never 'rushed' things lol and all happenes to be happening quite quickly. Had a good sleep last night and feeling a little less stressed - trying to remember that we have put some money away and when were spending the disposiable income on things that are not disposable it just wont be there to spend! lol xx
  • Hi, I've been feeling a bit like this recently.
    I actually earn more than OH and have always paid slightly more of household bills and mortgage than him. So I'm saving like mad so that we can still sustain this while I'm off work and not being paid for 6 months. (I've also got some personal debts that I would never expect him to pay) We've not bought anything yet and I'm just hoping that over the next few months we'll have enough to buy all the baby stuff and pay bills etc while I'm off.
    Anyway, the point is that he hasn't put anything into the savings account yet. Yet he managed to buy a game yesterday for his PS3, ??45 !! I know by the end of the month he'll be skint. And we're hoping to sell our flat and move somewhere bigger so our mortgage will be bigger too, I don't know how we'll cope.
    Sorry for the moan.
    I've tried speaking to him and he just keeps telling me everything will be fine. Like you say, there just won't be any disposable income to spend so he'll soon get used to not having a new game for the PS3!! S x
  • My fella has given me ??200 a month since the moment he found out i was pregnant (3 weeks) and brought stuff for baby and flat on top of that so I cant be too critical of him (she says having read back that she made him sound like an ogar with his money!) Oops emotions!! But I am just better with money than he is. Ive put money away too and have been buying bits to move in together since a year before id even fallen pregnant - I don't expect to have everything all at once!! I suspose because my work contract finished on friday just gone he'll have to pay for everything now perhaps he just thought he have the treats while he still could! I just get a bit irratable seeing stupid expencive purchases when i'm feeling guilty about buying clothes which really i havent that much coice in as its still a bit cold to be walking arounf starkers and i'm growing out of what i have! I think i am worrying pre-empting - rent, bills and so on and just feel like its me who has to organise EVERYTHING!
    we'll see now won't we because the real test is about to happen he gets paid again this thursday and this month he'll have to pay my bills as well as his own! i'll let you know how i get on! xx


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