Against Trust rules...

Hi all,

As anybody else got the same problem as I do, that their NHS Trust won't tell them the sex of the baby and if you want to find out, you have to go privately? My trust can't even tell me why it's their policy!
I find this disgusting..who are they to decide?

Thanks for letting me rant!



  • I didn't have this problem but I know that alot of NHS trusts have the same policy. I don't know if this is the case for your trust but some of them won't say because in some religons/cultures girls are seen as less desirable than boys and so female babies are often aborted. By not revelling the sex they hope to prevent this. It is unfair that you have to pay but unfortunately I don't think that there is a way round it.
  • Yup, we had the same problem in Grampian. They have signs everywhere telling you that you can't even ask! So we went private and paid our ??75 to find out. Worth every penny in the end but not fair we had to pay when others don't! They only changed the policy about 2 years ago so I know people who could find out with their first but couldn't with their second.

    Having said that, while it is annoying not to have that choice, I'm just glad we get 2 scans as standard anyway! There are plenty places only offer either a 12 week or a 20 week scan, not both... So could be much worse... But we can still rant!
  • our has a 'not before 18 weeks' policy, which I think is fair enough, but not to be even allowed to ask seems a little unfair.
  • It's not general procedure to tell you the sex as the scans are primarily to check the baby is healthy. Our hospital has a sign saying they will try their best to tell you the sex but it can't always be possible. They never used to tell you the sex at all and I think in some cases now If you want to know the sex you have to pay for a private scan. Also They are not allowed to tell you 100% just incase they get it wrong and some trusts don't want the responsibility put on them.

    We were told the sex but we are still getting a private 3d scan done just to double check so I know what colour I can buy image

  • Thanks all, it's just that we orignally didn't want to know, but we are struggling with boys names, so we were hoping that the scan would take the pressure off having to find one, when it maybe a girl, very frustrating indeed - we're not offered a 12 week scan this is the one and only we get...not a great experiance for our first baby...will ask them tomorrow anyway, even if they say they're not 100% sure...
  • sometimes if it is a boy, you won't need them to tell you, I could see DS was a boy as soon as the scan started!
  • hi my hospital lets you know the sex and we have a 12 week and 20 weeks scan.. another hospital in same area doesnt give you a 20 wk scan atall, and wont let you know the sex. a few friends of mine have had their kids in that hospital, and when one asked why they didnt tell the sex she was told it was because certain ethnic groupswere known to abort a girl, for preference of boy.
  • I had my last 2 boys at Watford General - think that was under the same Trust! With both of those I was unable to find out the sex and that was 15 and 6 years ago. I am now up North and was suprised that I was allowed to find out this time! Everyone seemed quite suprised that I hadnt been able to find out before.
  • they are not allowed to say in some hospitals ( has to be all hospitals in 2009) due to people aborting because they want a certain sex! its not right that in my words selfish people like that ruin it for people like us!!! sorry if i upset anyone by calling them selfish but thayts wat i think! xx
  • It's also to prevent the health boards from being sued as they are not always guaranteed to get it right.
  • I think its awful, what kind of person would abort their baby at 20 weeks just cos its a girl?? That late on how would they even be able to do that?

    Luckily where i live they are really good. I have been offered an early reassurance scan, a 12 week scan and a 20 week scan where i can find out the sex. Im 7 weeks and have seen the midwife already and will see her again at 9 weeks and 16 weeks. A friend of mine lives not too far from me and has seen the midwife for the first time at 16 weeks (was only told then what she can and cant eat!!!) and cos she had a scan at 8 weeks cos of being hospitalised was not allowed a 12 week one. I think its extremely unfair how it changes from place to place.
  • My hospital doesnt have a particular policy on this matter. They have no signs up or anything, u just ask the sonographer and if they can tell u then they will, and if they are not 100% then they will tell u this as well. I found out with my first (the sonographer actually asked us if we wanted to know?) But this time round we decided not to find out. It should be the same across the board tho, not having sum trusts that do tell and sum trusts that dnt. Kerry xxxx
  • yep I live in Luton and they wont tell you here because of other people cultures and they abort girls. I think its completely unfair but what can you do - thats life now a days i guess!
    Laura 22+6 xxx
  • That is what I was told all those years ago back in Watford! It is unfair - I know it is an issue but it is unfair and surely it is countrywide, not just in particular areas and it is highly unfair on the majority!

    Love Lee
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