Who do you want at the birth with you?

Hi ladies,

Another post on here has made me think about who I want at the birth. I obviously want hubby there, but Im also very close to my mum and I know that she would be great support where sometimes hubby cant always sympathise or support me in the way that I want (years of being in the army has left him with a "worse things could happen" attitude!!!). However, I dont think hubby is quite so keen on that. I really would like a home birth and think it would be magical if it was just hubby and I but I would like my mum to feel involved too as she is so supportive but lives about an hour and a half away - she really wants to have an active role with this baby as her other grandchild lives about 7 hours away!!! I know she wouldnt interfere and would do her best not to intrude so Im not really concerned about that, its really hubby's thoughts on it that concern me.

Did anyone else have this dilema?




  • when i had tegan, i just wanted it to be me and my partner as its a very special time but i also knew that i would need extra support if oh had to go loo/get coffee or whatever and that he would need support so both our mums were there, they went out inbetween examinations and went out when it was time to start pushing and then we let them come back in once she was born and we had settled a bit and they could see her quickly before they left again. which for us was just ideal, i wouldnt of had it any other way. xxx
  • I had my mum and my OH with me first time round, everything happened so quickly and OH was so overwhelmed that he just didn't know what to do, but my mum was fantastic, she was so calm and really helped me focus.
    Afterwards I asked OH if he felt left out, and he said it was such a relief to have her there, as she could empathise with me and reassure him, but it also meant that he could watch and see our son being born, rather than being at the head end! I wasn't sure wether I was impressed with that last comment but he said it felt really special for him to see it all.

    This time, I am hoping it will be just me and OH as I hope I will be a bit calmer and more prepared for what is happening, but mum will be on standby just incase!!!!

    Naomi xx
  • Hi, I tried for a homebirth last time and had hubby and a doula there. Hubby was a bit worried about being left out, but when it came to the birth he was so glad she was there- he knew I was in good hands, and he didn't really know how to help me himself- after all, neither of us had been there before! I'm hopefully going to have a homebirth this time, and I 've booked my doula again- she was brilliant xx
  • I am having my husband and my mum. I know I can get quite dramatic at times and will probably insist that I am dying! My mum is a nurse and will be so calming for me. My husband is already petrified about the whole thing so he is really relived that my mum is going to be there too.
    Em-24 weeks.
  • With my first two i only wanted my hubby
    since i had my DD in the same hospital im having this little one i know what they are like and want someone else with me as me and martin were practacly left on our own the whole time we were in there. my neice is in her second year training to be a nurse and then is going on the become a midwife so we are taking her in with us,
    she is also more likley to remeber things that i forget, it also means im not going to freak if hubby needs to leave the room to go to the toilet, get a drink/something to eat.
  • Hi this is tricky me and my oh have been talking about this and I thought that I wanted my mum there as well. But he really wasn't keen on the idea he thought it was weird but I'll show him this post to show him its normal! I just thought that my mum would be able to support me when oh couldn't cuz I could imagine he would be a bit speechless most the time and not know what to do!
    I've got plenty of time to think about it anyway :\)

  • hay hun ive decided to take hubby and mum in with me although i no hubby can be surportive hes not one to incourage much he takes everything as it comes and normally makes a joke about everything so i need someone there to be straight with me and tell it how it is if you get me plus im such a mummys girl when im ill or in pain haha :lol:

    loren x x
  • My mum is going to be with me through the early stages whilst i am at home, as hubby will probably be at work and i'd rather him stay busy instead of worrying, but when i go to the hospital its just me and hubby, although mums on standby as hubby is very very squemish and could pass out lol xxx


  • My OH is a darling, but cannot deal with any blood without becoming ill himself - and he's not keen on witnessing childbirth. I do find that very sad, to be honest, and would him to be there. But if he's only going to be sick or faint, I do see his point.

    I live about five hundred miles away from my parents. My mum has said she'd be nervous being there (she a midwife!) but I'll have to see. My dad, oddly enough, has said it wouldn't phase him. Not sure what I'll do but have got ages yet - I want to persuade OH to be honest!
  • This ones quite easy fo me hubby is amazing under pressure and he cant wait but he has done it all before, but deffinately not my mum she wouldnt stop fussing and i know wed argue itd be a nightmare! as much as i love her she can stay at home with los for me!lol.:lol:
  • I really want hubby and my best friend to be there.

    My mum's a funny one and would say things like oh it can't hurt that much or in my day we didn't have any pain relief.

    I know hubby wouldn't miss it for the world but i know that my friend will be great at encouraging me. I also don't want to be alone at any point even if i'm asleep so i think it's good to have 2 people there.

    I think when the baby starts coming out i'd just like it to be me and hubby.


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