Possibly a small breakthrough

You may have read my post today about dh saying he wanted some time apart, I was incredibly confused.

Well If you read through the whole thread you will know that I told him he could call me at one but he didn't he would only text, so I started to ignore his texts and he eventually called me about 10 minutes ago. The convo started with pleasantaries he asked me how my day was going etc, I then eventually got the guts to ask him what his problem was, he said he felt I behaved differently in the morning before I go to work, I explained that I was exactly the same this morning as I was any other morning but that my mood changed when he started questioning whether the baby was his etc. I told him that he was going to be a father whether he liked it or not, that he was the father of our child and that we had worked very hard to get where we are today, also that it was not up for disscussion again as I did not want to be made to feel the way he made me when he made comments like that and did he ever think about how upset I got. He said sorry and that he loved me and that he was scared because it all seemed to good to be true. I said I understood what he was saying but that it was no excuse to behave the way he did I also said not to bring it up again as I refuse to be dragged into a pointless argument.

Did I do good?

C
xx

Posts

  • woo hoo girl you go way to tell it to him straight i'm well proud of you! now your standing up for yourself and letting him no he's made you feel like poo anyone who crosses baby's path better be ware coz you'll be far worse!
  • I also asked him if he wanted to be a father and he said yes, and I said do you really think your behaviour would be acceptable once the baby has come along and you get in a paddy and tell baby you are not thier dad even though you are, then our child will grow up thinking daddy is a a crazy horrible man, and he said he didn't want baby to think that, and I said I would leave him if he ever said that to baby and then he went very quiet and told me he loves me.

    C
    xx
  • lol scared the living crap outta him i think hun! he needed it as its a bit of a scarey time for men and they don't think oo00oo the moms-to-be could be scared tooo i know i keep thinking will i be a good mnom etc... but i know in my heart that i will especially when i am able to tell my mates kids off and the punishment is to sit outside the front door till they can apologise(works wonders as have followed through and frightened them both) oh btw i live in a 1st floor flat so have no naughty step and we only put them out there when they are really naughty and have been asked several times to behave
  • Caza,
    Well done. It will have taken some guts but you did it. Glad you stood up for yourself and the baby. He's not the baby anymore..... time to grow up daddy.
    Keep the strenght and move forward - I told you it would work out ok and not end up like mine.
    xxxxxxx
  • I had better go and have a bath after all the cleaning - ive not heard anything this afternoon, fingers cross for this evening hope everything goes ok. Let me know in the morning
    keep strong
  • Good for you babe!
    I said that he probably didnt think that he deserved anything good happening. Maybe if you catch him at a good time he will agree to counselling with or without you!
    Hope it works out how you want it, Love Lee xxxxx
  • Hey,

    Well last night we had a chat and I explained again that it was unacceptable behaviour he seemed quite shocked that I was talking to him in this way as I hadn't had the guts before. There was an ellement of grovelling coming from him but I told him I didn't want that and that I just wanted love and support from my husband and that is all I have ever asked. He told me he loved me a lot and also that he had bought me a new car today (which doesn't solve anything but was a sweet gesture as he new I needed a bigger onw for the baby). He was up early this morning playing with the car seat we bought and I asked him what he was doing and he said "I need to work out how this fits now as I want to make sure our baby is safe" this seems to me to be a small breakthrough as he has never said anything like that before, he then sat down with me before he went to work and talked to my belly for about 10 mins. I really hope that this is it for us I will keep standing up for myself and then hopefully he will continue to realise I can't be walked over.

    I can't thank you ladies enough for your help yesterday without you I would have been the crying begging heap I normally would be, but I much prefer this me image

    ALso sorry I didn't write back yesterday afternoon I had an emergency dental appointment.

    C
    xxx :\)
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