Society frowning upon for having a 3rd baby -

Just following on from another thread about age etc. and another lady mentioned this as well.

But I don't know how common this is but when telling people we were expecting our 3rd baby most people were really pleased for us but several asked us if it was planned - it was, we m/c before in Aug and were lucky enough to get pg again and some couldn't believe we were having 3 (3 will be our last).

Hubby has a real gripe about this subject of people moaning about having more than 2 children - he says years ago the average no. of children people had were 2.4 e.g lke the tv prog LOL but not as many people are having more than 2 nowadays - most people I know have 1 or 2 apart from a lady round the corner with 5 girls and another with 4 boys but seem to be the exception.

Anyone else had the same reaction?



  • Mad how times change isnt it!

    This is my 3rd child but my OH has a daughter so between us we have 4! I love the fact we have a "bigger" family yet my brother and his other half have got 1 son and have said "no more". Its a case of each to their own and nobody should be judged for that decision!

    Both my parents were from families of 5 and am sure back then money was a lot tighter than it is now! Tbh I did think I was only gonna have the two but have been with Oh for 4 yrs and we thought we would try for "a joint one" and fell straight away! We are over the moon and the other 3 cant wait for their little brother (they are nearly 15, 10 and 6). Currently they call themselves the 3 musketeers but have decided when Tommy is here they will be the Fantastic 4!

    We are definately stopping after this one - I would try once more for a daughter of my own but OH refuses to watch me suffer from SPD again and is having the snip (wipes away a tear!)

    God, havent I waffled on but I hope it makes a little bit of sense lol

    Love Lee xxxxx
  • Totally.

    I am an only child and my parents divorced when I was 5 and I knew I always wanted to have 2 children.

    Hubby is one of 3.

    Like the thought of having our crazy little gang!

    chelle x

  • When i was pg with our third, quite a few ppl asked if she was planned! Not that it makes a jot of difference, but yes she was and she would've been the last had she been a boy or girl (have 2 ds too)! Once she was born, and now, 16wk on, ppl ask if we'll have anymore. Is it just conversation or pure nosiness!?
    2 families at the school where i work have 7 long as they're well looked after and loved, should it matter if it's what they want?? The dads work so they're not just doing it for benefits!
  • hi
    at least im not the only one,no one where i work has more than 2 and i feel like they must think ive made a mistake but this baby is very much planned and wanted xx

  • Hi Chelle, Im pg with my first and plan to have 3. As an only child I hated it and felt like I missed out by not having any siblings and I dont want my child to go through the same childhood as me. as they say an only child is a lonely child which is true in my case. As all my cousins where 5years + older than me I had no one to play with as a child when it came to holidays or xmas.( no one wanted to be with the baby of the family)
    I think how many childern people have is down to personal choice and has nothing to do with anyone else. One of my work colleagues has decided only to have 1 as she wants to be able to give him what ever he wants. (lucky boy)


  • Nat, I agree, I always thought I missed out on a brother and sister - hubby doesn't agree, he was a middle child LOL!
  • Oh I'm the opposite, I'd do anything to be a spoiled only child - I'd be loving it, hehe!! Growing up it was me and my sister and we were (and still are) always fighting as there is such a small gap (17 months). And then when my parents divorced and my dad met my stepmum who had 2 kids already, they had another and now there are 5 of us. So it's always been a bloody I said would looove to be an only child!

    Having said that I would like at least 4 myself, so there u go! Financially impossible mind you, so I will probably stick to 1, and consider myself lucky as some people cant have children.

    I don't see why anyone should moan about having more than 2 children - it's not up to them how big ur family is. I think it's rude. Less people are having children these days so consider yourself adding to society. I really don't see the problem unless you're endlessly popping them out for benefits...and you sound far too literate to be doing that! xxxx

  • Well, I'm on my 5th and love each and every one of my kids and am soooooo looking forwards to no5 coming along! I have 2 of each already so sex of this one doesn't really matter!!

    My mum and dad are a little concerned about me and how I'll cope etc - DH has to keep working now lol and having just moved to Holland, mum is just worried about me being on my own. Fortunately, we are in the process of arranging help so won't be on my own!

    I think it's each to their own and people should stop being so bloody condescending of those that want a large family. As long as the children are fed, clothed, schooled and more importantly LOVED, family size shouldn't be a major factor!

  • Hi this is my third and he wasnt planned got caught when lo was only 5 weeks was shocked and upset at first as we had a boy and a girl and had decided to have just the 2 more financial than anything and had took 3 years to conceive our son. But this baby is just meant to be as we used a condom which ripped and i then went for the morning after pill and that didnt work so he must be meant to be, we also had a reading done and were both told we would only have 3 children each 2 boys and a girl and it has come true. He maybe wasnt planned but is now very much wanted and will be loved the same as my other 2 and with him and ds being so close together its not going to be that expensive as all i have to get is a buggy a cot and bumper, bottles nappies and milk. But i come from 5 and hubby comes from 3.People should mind there own business and its up to the individual how many children you want each to there own.
    vikki xx
  • Hi, I dont think 3 is too many (obviously it depends on if you can support them emotionally and financially as with everything in life).

    I have a 10 year old son from a previous relationship (during my learning curve years) and am now married and settled down and expecting baby no.2 in July, I totally expect to have another child in a couple of years and then we will call it a day. I am 1 of 3 and I loved it!
  • Hi I think its down to personal choice aswell, as long as you get bring them up the way you want thats all that matters. If anything I would say people are having less kids now than they did yrs ago. My gran had 7 and my oh mum is one of 7 aswell. This is my first and hopefully we will be having 1 more but thats it as oh already has 1 daughter and 1 step son so that will make 4 in total!
    Tammi xxx
    28.3 weeks
  • This is my 3rd and Im so excited about having 3 lil men running around together.

    I wouldnt mind having more but I feel blessed to have 3 when some people have trouble just concieving 1 or cant have any at all. Im gona dedicate myself to the 3 of them for a few yrs coz they're still young. (2 & 1).

    some people look down on me - seeing that iv got 2 lil ones close together and a pg belly but I love havin my boys all close together and I cant wait for this 1 to be here.

  • Hi i am having my third child my mothering in law is not happy about it . She had 3 children unber 5 years and keep and haveing little digs at me. I have 6 and 5 years and this child was planned and i am so happy 19 day to go cazmac10
  • hi i had exactly the same experiance as vikki r with the burst condom and the failing morning after pill so now i am expecting my fourth .But i wouldnt have it any other way my other children were all planned 3 boys this must have just been fate as ive been told its a girl although i am not convinced of that. Anyway i am 100% happy and dont really care about what others think and nither should you.xx

  • I'm on my 4th and it gets on my nerves because everyone thinks that we are not excited about it! They couldn't be more wrong and in fact I'm more excited about this one because it will be my last.

  • Hi, Im one of 5 and I want a big family too. I know Ive left it a little late to start, but I plan on having as many as pos, with fairly short age gaps between them. (all being well of course, might not work out like that!)

    There will always be someone with an opinion, whether you chose to have one or 10. Its really no-ones business how many children a family choses to have. As long as you can provide for them and dont 'do it for the benefits', and your kids are loved, cared for and cherished, then I'd say ignore any comments, and do whats right for you. xx

  • I know how you feel - I am expecting my 3rd and have a girl and a boy. I have 3.5 yrs between them and there will be 4.5 between my little boy and this one. Most people have assumed that it was unplanned because "You have 1 of each what more do you want?" This has really upset me as it is vey much planned and wanted. When we had our son we just kind of thought that he would be the last, but when he was 3 last year we started to think that it would be nice to have another and we had said never say never. I think my hubby is more excited about this 1 than even before which has been great. He comes from a family of 4.

    I think that people should keep these kind of opinions to themselves as you feel hormonal enough and you just want people to be happy for you!

    Nevermind - feel much better now I've had a wee rant!

    Lots of hugs and best wishes to you all and I can't wait for my new arrival in Jul xxx
  • As part of my job I have to ask people how many children they have and must admit that up to three my general response is "how lovely" then over four I have raised eyebrows and generally say "that must be really, really hard work". Its always meant in jest and generally a great conversation starter, I think as long as people can provide a loving home and are financially stable (whatever that is!) they are entitled to have as few or as many children as they like.
    I must say I think its really rude for people to ask if its planned, much as I think its rude when people ask why you dont have any kids! Especially as its normally virtual strangers who ask these questions.
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