Feeling down, sorry need a rant

I dont know if its me or if my oh is being really unsupportive.
I'm 13 wks tomorrow and have my scan on weds. Was feeling sick but now its on and off some days. Oh has been supportive up until now, he goes on about how i'm always moaning and when i'm not moaning i'm always snapping at him. Yes, i have been moaning because i was feeling really sick and not been able to eat properly and yes, when it was pointed out to me, i have been snapping at him but none of it was intentional and i really cant help it.
As i have my scan coming up, i have these horrible dreams that i had a mc and even though i know its a dream i cant help but stress over it.
As i'm not working now and where i live i dont have any friends/ family living close by so i dont really see anyone and feel so so lonely and all i do is wait for oh to come home and really cant wait for weekend so we can do things together but everytime the weekend comes round oh has a go at me for being a complete cow and doesnt talk to me and suggests i go back to my parents. Then i wait for the following weekend hoping things will be ok but its the same thing.
I try to expalin to him that its hormones and i am trying my best but he just goes on how i'm not the only pregnant person around and compares me to people in the 3rd world contries and asks how they cope.
The baby was planned so it cant be because of that.
I feel so down.


  • firstly, have a hug from me x
    secondly your oh needs a good kick up the arse, yeah ok your not the only pg person but everybody feels different, and nobody knows exactly how you are feeling but you.
    try talking to your midwife and seeing if there are any local groups where you can go and meet people who are pg too, it helps to get out and about and make friends hun, if not the lovely ladies on here are always a good sounding board if you need a rant lol.
    take care sweetie x
  • Try reading the maternity booklets with your OH - I've noticed that a lot of the NHS booklets (e.g. Emma's Diary) are written with some not so subtle hints aimed at husbands/partners to help them understand everything the woman is going through (there is a lot happening to your body/hormones at the moment and he needs to understand this).

    My hubby was very supportive at first and made my dinner and ran around but then I think the novelty wore off a little and although he never said as much I found myself wondering if he thought I was milking it a bit. Anyway I had my scan at 13 weeks and that really helped him to realise how real it all was and he's carried on being an absolute star. I think if you help him to understand exactly what's happening inside your body he will be more empathetic.

  • Thank you jojowick83 and redpod for your kind replies.
    He was an angel up until yesterday but like redpod said he probably thinks i'm milking it, lol.
    Maybe once we've seen the baby it will help and he's probably just as stressed as i am.
    I will look into the local group thing as i would probably go insane if i stayed on my own but do feel much better letting it out. Thank you.
    Hugs and xxx

    [Modified by: fatema on April 06, 2008 06:36 PM]
  • I tried to get pregnant for ages and then when I did I hated it fr the first 4 months! your body is going through SOOOOO many changes! from talking to friends they find there OH can become more surpotive once the bump is showing because it makes it more real for them! but there are books a funny one called something like a dad's guild to pregnancy but you can get it in WH smiths its very funny but it does help explain that you just cant help walking around being hormonal lol..
    at the beginging I snapped at OH and then cried cause i felt guilty! I was all over the place! I just reminded him that I did love him.. and asked him if he really felt that i wanted to be walking around cross all the time? he knows me well and knows its not my normal nature!
    and just to let you know hun... it does get easier! xxx

    24 plus 1
  • I'm with jojo on this one - a quick kick up the rear might be in order! However I think redpods suggestion is probably more sensible and longer lasting - get him to read some articles about raging hormones etc and at least he'll realise you're not making it up. My dh is brill but I'm sure even he thought I was milking it somewhat.

    Personally I think it's part and parcel of pg - we get to bear the brunt of it in actually being pg and having the physical aspects of it, so it's only right that our oh's have the pleasure and onslaught that are hormones!!!!

  • thanks karen, i know my answer is not the most sensible one, but it makes me feel better lol image . my usual answer to oh thinking i`m moaning too much is to go on a 5 minute rant about if he thinks he could do better then maybe he ought to carry the baby and i`ll go back to work and see how well he copes, especially being that every time i get a tiny cold, he`s "dying" of pneumonia :roll: .

    sorry about the rant, but men really bug me sometimes.

    i do agree that sitting oh down tho with a load of info may be the best course of action as not all oh are as easy going as mine, who often laughs at my mini rants.

    joanna xx
  • Hi Fatema

    Glad to hear things have improved since your first message, but big hugs to you anyway. The book mentioned is 'bloke's guide to pregnancy' and it's quite good/funny. Luckily my DH is being fantastic so I've no complaints there but a lot of other people I know (work colleagues/neighbours/my mum who is ignoring us completely etc.) have been really nasty to me and that is getting me down a lot.

    Anyway, just wanted to offer some moral support and let you know you're not the only one feeling a bit down about people's reactions. x x x

    [Modified by: secretmama on April 07, 2008 12:32 PM]
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