Two Little Ones!?!

Hi ladies,
This mite sound strange but iv bin looking after my poorly 18 month old son for the past three days and this evening its suddenly hit me that i mite not be able to give him this sort of attention when baby number two comes along. Obviously i want him to be as involved as possible but wat if im not physically capable of dividing my time equally? I hate the thought that rhys might feel pushed away wen baby arrives as we have such a close relationship now and i wud hate for that to be ruined. I sat here thinking that me and other half havent really thought it through properly and how having another baby might affect rhys. Are there any mums out there who felt the same with their second baby, or am i just letting my imagination run away? Kerry xxx


  • Hi Kerry

    I have a 15month old and have just given birth to my second who is now a week old.

    I feel very guilty that i can't give my attention to him and lotsa people been looking after him.

    I feel really guilty but i wouldnt change it. when i get the routine sorted it'll be so much easier!!!

    Heather x
  • Our eldest has just turned 2 and our new baby is 14weeks. It is hard work and yes, your relationship with your eldest does change. I found it particularly hard at the start when hubby went back to work - it felt like I wasn't giving either of them the attention they deserved! But it HAS got much better. You can't always divide time equally and there are times when 1or other needs your full attention. I try to make meal times good one on one time with my toddler and his nap times good one on one time with baby. I think every mum I've spoken to about this has empathised with the guilt and frustration!!! It's helped me to remember that I have siblings and it is a brilliant thing, not damaging or neglectful! This has also given my oh the opportunity to really show what a fab dad he is and get really involved when he is able to - he always does bedtime with our toddler now and they both LOVE the special time they get to spend together, plus it's a real help to me!! It has become easier as the weeks have gone by ... but I don't know about you - ever since I've become a mother I seem to have a never-ending stream of things to feel guilty about!!! x
  • Its something that iv never thought about before, which i suppose is abit selfish, we jus wanted another baby i didnt really consider anything else. Baby will be born in the july and rhys is two in august so i thought that that would be a lovely age gap. Unlike me and my brothers where there is six years between one and eleven years between another. Im more like their aunty than sister and weve never bin close. Thanks for your thoughts ladies glad im not the only one whos feeling guilty about this, and well done to all mums who have two or more little ones to look after at a time, dnt think id realise wat i was letting myself in for. Kerry xxx

  • my oh got a little girl by a previous relationship n she's looking forward to havin a little brother n showing him off to all her friends at school! (she started in september). I'm not really worried about the jelousy factor coz she's one of those kids who is always wanting to help out, main thing i'm worried about is her wanting to play with lo n giving him some of her small farm animal toys she loves playing with & him ending up swallowing them. But i suppose with her being at school it's not realy too bad school holidays might be fun though! but I'm going to cross that bridge when time arrives!! lol
  • now that i am getting to my due date i have started to worry about the same thing, my daughter has had my full attention for 3 1/2yrs and am so worried that she will feel pushed out, and i dont want my little girl to feel pushed out or that i dont love her as much cause she has a baby brother,
    im just going to try and spend time with daughter when baby is sleeping(easyer said then done im sure lol)
    im sure it will work out for us and we will be able to spread out our time good luck xxx

  • I will have almost the same age gap, this one is due end of June, Millie is two end of August and some days I just think 'what on earth have I done?' Millie is such a little angel and I feel really guilty about making such a big change to her world. I am also really worried about some of the practicalities, what do I do with one while I bath the other? How much of the house can Millie wreck while I am feeding the baby? I guess we will just cope because there is not much choice! I seem to remember that last time round I had no idea what I was doing either so I guess I will just muddle through.
  • I've been feeling the same way, glad I'm not the only one. Lily will be 1 in April and baby no2 is due 1st May. Poor Lily will still only be a baby herself and I'm scared she will feel neglected. I guess when our 2nd little ones arrive we will just find a way to share our love and attention.

  • Thanks everyone im so glad im not the only person who is wondering how they are gona cope, Kerry xxx
  • hi girls i have 2 wee boys close together also michael is 2 today and david is nearly 10wks theres 20months between them and i wont lie to you its tiring and hard but well worth it michael is fantastic with davis has been from beg he helps feed him and gives him his dummy if he cries when bath time i put michael in bath and david in baby seat in bath they love it when michael talks david follows his voice michael was jealous and felt left out when it came to bed time coz he was going to bed when david was still up now david is sleeping 12hrs hes in bed 1st so michael goes 30min after david and he goes to bed no problem now just rem to involve them in all things you do with baby so they dont feel left out and im sure they be fine

    tracey x
  • My 3rd was 17 months when number 4came along (other 2 were 11 and 13) though it was very hard work at first I must say they are now best of mates. They are both boys. Joseph does not remember a time that Charlie was not here unlike older kids who remember the time when they had all your attention.
    Dont plan too much in your day and dont try to potty train etc.. expect a few tantrums but dont accept them as the norm or things will go from bad to worse. When I was feeding baby I used to put dvd on and sit with Joseph or get some books out and read with him. The worse bit was when baby sleeps you then have to give the older one some time. Try to get them to sychronize the afternoon nap then you get some shut eye. Also, when toddler went to bed I loved the hour of calm that I got to spend with baby. Thats when I bathed baby, massaged and just cuddled them. I having number 5 and Joseph is nearly 4 and Charlie 2 years 3 mnths. Think this time its not going to be so easy to juggle everyone.

    dont beat yourself up nor worry about finding the love. You may not always find the time to do everything your lo wants to do but you will always always find the love.
    d x
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