anyone else too down to feel excited?

Hi all,

sorry if this sounds a bit of a rant but since reaching my 12 week scan (which i had at 11 weeks) and the initial relief at everything being ok, i've just been so down i can't get excited about baby at all. I've been ill with cold and fluey things one after the other which hasn't helped, and my husband has been working so hard during th week and so 'needing' to go to the pub at weekends (like now) i just feel very alone and unhappy. I can't stop crying and feel so guilty about it as this baby was very much wanted, and i know so many people with fertility problems etc i feel like i can't tell anyone i feel anything less than over the moon about this pregnancy.

So sorry ladies onthis saturday night to moan but i'm sat here in tears again and was just wondering if anoyone else felt like this at any stage in this pregnany and if it did get any easier. Feel like my mood is putting extra strain on my marriage and my hubby being out all the time dosn't help..i guess this baby is making me feel more trapped to him than anything else which i find very scary at the moment as i don't want to be a single mum.(oh and i'm 15 weeks now) any advice would be very much appreciated!xxx


  • Aww Lou, big hugs coming your way. I had a bit of a toot earlier today so it must be something to do with 15w hormones affecting us all. I was getting fed up with awful lower back/buttock pain which I've had a couple of weeks now but has got a lot worse over the past couple of days, really getting me down now.

    Keep your chin up and remember why we're all doing this, think of the end result.

    Corinna x
  • Really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, loubeelou. I am sure that it is just a temporary thing, it's hard not to feel down when you're not well and don't forget that your hormones are probably exaggerating all your feelings. Once you get over all the colds, I bet you'll start to feel more positive. In the mean time, have you tried sitting down with your husband and talking to him about your feelings? Maybe he is starting to feel a little apprehensive about the whole fatherhood thing as well. What you say about him going down the pub makes me wonder if he is starting to worry about losing his 'freedom' once the baby is born? (Ofc, I may be reading far too much into it- please don't be offended, just ignore me if you think I am rambling!). Either way, I think you should let him know that you are feeling down and would appreciate a little more support/attention from him at the moment, maybe you could plan a meal out or something, just spend some time relaxing in each others company.
    Look after yourself and try not to feel guilty- you can't help your feelings and it is perfectly normal to go through tough times- having a baby is such a huge change.
  • (((BIG HUGS)))

    I know how you feel hun trust me i've been there but it is just your hormones playing havoc. Since being pregnant i've been on anti b's 5 times i've had pheumonia 2 chest infections and now a head cold and with all the work your body is doing any illness on top makes you feel even worse and low.

    As for the partner thing i'm a single parent and the father of this baby is my ex but i can't stand him and bite his head off if he phones to ask if i need anything. thinking this was weird i asked my mw why i was acting and thinking in such a way and she said it hormones. As like you i think my ex is going to off had enough of my moods soon.

    Rest assured you will feel better and i'm sure your partner will unstand your moods! If he goes to the pub then arrange to do someting with your girly friends they are sometimes more of a comfort! Talk to your partner and leave out magazines for him to come across on topics that you feel would help him understand the way you feel! Remember it a change for him too and men handle thigs differently then us!

    Hope you start picking up soon!

    [Modified by: pinkbutton on February 23, 2008 09:21 PM]

  • I know how you feel! My boyfriend is always going out - he's gone out clubbing tonight. I'm 30 weeks, I guess I feel like he should be at home looking after me.

    It does feel crap being pregnant sometimes especially when the initial excitement wears off at about 12 weeks, and you know you're in for the long haul! Forgetting about the baby for 5 minutes and doing 'normal' things like going out for dinner & having a (small!) glass of wine, does help.

    Once you're pregnant it can feel like you & your partner 'have' to be together rather than 'want' to, if that makes sense, and it can put on extra strain. I am sure you will work it out though, just try not to bottle up your feelings.

    I have had looooads of colds and flu since I got pregnant! It sucks...Spring is almost here though so it will ease, unlike poor me being pregnant through the winter, grrrr. Just get lots of rest and remember its all worth it! xxx
  • I'm back feeling fairly positive but for several weeks I was really depressed about the whole pregnancy lark. I already have a toddler and I felt guilty because I was too sick to cook for her, I was worried about the new baby effecting her and I just felt crap. Once I had my 21 week scan and found out what I was having it just made it so much easier. It feels like I am carrying a baby now, not a parasite (that sounds awful but I suspect you know what I mean!) I found it easier to be positive once I started feeling movement as well, so hang in there, I'm sure you will feel better soon.
  • sorry i haven't been online since saturday (been talking things though with hubby instead..!) but just wanted to say a big thank you for all your kind replies. I'm glad to hear i'm not alone as feel sometimes the guilt for not being so happy and enjoying every day of being its good to hear you've been here too and it will get better. Hubby took me to mothercare yesterday (we hadn't looked at anything together yet) and him making such an effort to show excitment and interest in me and the baby really helped. We bought a few practical things and picked out the cot and it made me feel a whole lot better, followed by an afternoon cuddling on the sofa, no pub or online poker (don't even get me started on that one!) i'm just going to take each day at a time and not put too much pressure on myself to fuful this glowing pregnant woman role. Thanks again! xx
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