Going to funeral

Ive got to do just about the hardest thing ever tomorrow, Im going to a funeral for a new born baby, my best friend lost one of her twins during child birth. I am neaarly 15 weeks pregnant and am extremely concerned that Im going to make a scene in the church as I just cant control the tears.
I think my friend has been so brave and is being a wonderful mother to her other baby.


  • Doushka
    Thank you for your kind words, I have really struggled dealing with this, especially with being pregnant, I havent slept for a week.
    I tried to buy a sympathy card and broke down in the shop, I had to put the card back and leave, I dont think anything has ever affected me this badly, I consider myself a strong person, and now I am petrified about giving birth, even though this is not my first child.
    Thanks again for your support, it does help!
  • Vicky

    Have you ever been to a baby's funeral before? I cant lie to you, its the most awful thing ever. I attended a baby's funeral a couple of months when I was 26 wks pregnant. I was prepared though as I have unfortunately had a couple of these situations this year. You need to remain strong and take plenty of tissues. It's not going to be easy but you can do it for your friend. Take care babe xxxx
  • Tuppence
    No I havent ever been to a funeral like this and I am dreading it, but your right, she is my best friend and she is the one who has lost the baby so I am going to have to be strong for her.

  • It is really hard to go to a baby's funeral. My grandson Jack died of cot death just before he was 3months. My daughter and her husband were so brave and we just had to be brave for them. We all read poems in the church and everyone cried. All funerals are sad but when it is an old person they have had their life - it is just the wrong order for children to die first.
    Having spent a lot of the last couple of years in the baby garden at the crem we have realised that babies dying is a fact of life - not one we had given much thought to before, it is awful to see all the little graves. And I really admire parents who make it through the most incredibly hard experience - but they do manage,
    My 4th baby is due next week and as I am now 40 I am very worried about something bad happening. The CONI team are now giving me support to help with my anxieties. CONI stands for Care of the Next Infant - they are mainly for parents who have lost babies to cot death. But 'CONI plus' can help family members who have also suffered,and they help parents who have lost babies to something other than cot death. Maybe they would be able to help you - you can contact them through FSIDs website. If they are not the right people to help maybe talking to some kind of counseller would help you - talking to someone neutral could help you support your friend and help with fears you may now have with your own pregnancy.
    You and your friend are in my thoughts.

    Alison 39+1 x
  • hiya hun i think your very brave gong i think your friend must be going through such an awful time i cant imagine how she must feel, when my son was only 6 days old my sisters baby was still born and they buried her when he was 2 weeks old , i wasnt brave enough to go i couldnt face seeing a baby the same age as mine being buried!we dont speak now i think she resents me in a way for not going .......you must cry if u need to and not hold back im sure every single person there will be extremely emotional x x x x
  • I really feel for you. What a hard thing for you to have to do. When anyone dies its tragic, but especially a baby. I hope that the day goes as well as can be expected. My thoughts are with you.


  • Oh my goodness. It must be so hard for your friend. She has to deal with a new born baby as well as hurt so badly. She must really be finding it hard. I cant even begin to imagine! I went to a friends funeral when I was 8 weeks pregnant. He was 40 when he died and that was hard enough. Such an innocent baby is so sad.

    My gran once told me that life is like a garden - you always pick the best flowers first. That baby must be very special. My thoughts are with you for tomorrow.
  • Not been to a babies funeral but can imagine that it will be very hard and heartbreaking. i went to my dads funeral couple of weeks ago and i'm 32 weeks, that was tough in itself as he died from bowel cancer, but we always feel that a baby hasnt had its time yet and that makes it harder.
    i hope you can find the strength to be strong for your friend and also yourself. It'll be a tough day but you'll get through it, is your oh going too?
    Take care and thinking about your friend and praying you will be ok too.
    Filo x
  • oh im so sorry hun my heart goes out to your friend and family. It really feels so unfair when a child dies.
  • oh hun i feel for you.
    my heart goes out to you, your friend and family. it must be so hard, i cant imagine how hard it must be for you all. my thoughts are with you x
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