No problem!! I'm glad it made you laugh! It is a funny subject really, I would never try and over exaggerate it or anything to make myself sound better/double hard or anything! (my SIL and ex-bestfriend was like that............."oh my labour was 57 years long and I had forceps, cranes, men in hard hats, needed resusitaion it hurt so much and I was stitched from my knees up to my neck" blah blah blah, no wonder we get scared!)
It just it what it is, its frightening, its the unknown but we all end up back in there having MORE babies! you know like if you get one tattoo? - it hurts, its a nasty pain that fades afterwards from your memory and before you know it, your thinking of your NEXT tattoo! its kind of like that! adictable!
I've tried to explain how it felt for me as honestly as I can. I also had piles from about 20 weeks onward last time!! so the pushing the baby out part really did feel like my back-end was gonna explode! i was so scared I'd poo everywhere but it doesn't your body just s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s out! (yes a little bit of poo did come out but I didn;t even notice until after I had got out the birthpool! it was hardly anything! but the midwife didn't bat an eyelid! and although it was also down on my lit of thing to worry about; on the day, I didn't give a monkeys!!!
I always call it my 'minnie' lol I hate the other words! my husband says 'minge' its just so gross, makes me laugh and cringe at the same time! I think minnies are awesome how they stretch out then go small again like a Tranformer!
nikkiandneil -
You are SO right about the pain thing. Tooth ache really is A LOT WORSE! theres no escaping that kind of pain! it renders me useless! at least after birth I can walk around and eat stuff! I had a tooth Abscess about two weeks ago now! and when I finally got in the dentist chair and was begging him for the local anestetic jab! and making sure he gave me more than the normal does because I'm a complete wimp! I'd been up with it all night! I even said to him "I'll take labour ANYDAY" he laughed! he said he'd had large men in his chair crying with pain from toothache!!! lol
I feel so sorry for ladies who have really long labours, no sleep and loads of pain, my heart goes out to you. I've been lucky with my short-ish labours and pretty straight forward ones.
I take raspberry leaf capsules from 34 weeks to get my uterus fit and ready to help bring the baby down and also high strength 1000mg evening primrose to soften my cervix - this has worked for me both times! so I'll be doing it again! by the truck load.
Littlewolf -
You are right about the contractions during the 1st stage hurting more than when you push! as when the midwife tells you you're 10 cm (inside you start cheering "hip hip hooray give me a H, give me an I, give me P" she then says "when you feel the next contraction... start pushing" I honestly have to say that from that point I didn't feel the back pain or bump hardening anymore? it was all my bum and because I was pushing!!!! maybe the piles didn't help! as I certainly felt them throbbing away!
I didn't feel anything in the minnie department? I was waiting for the stinging/tearing sensation but it didn't happen? But before I knew it the midwife said the heads out, and I thought 'what? - out my bum?'
Then there was what seemed like a pause in time....................... the midwive told me to wait for the next contraction and then to push the rest out!!!!!! well I did wait but nothing, so I just pushed when i felt ready!
This is where my mind started wandering (probably a bit of shock) and I managed a good suck on the gas and air! I was thinking 'I have a person hanging out of me looking at my bum!, one more push like that and its OVER!' then you kind of have a big rush of fear 'oh my god I have to push the shoulders out and oh my god I'm going to split in two halfs and need TWO PASSPORTS for the rest of my life! it the oddest feeling but it really doens't kill you!
The most strange moment for me was the midwife asking if I wanted to look in the mirror at the head hanging out ????? at that point actually seeing your minnie hole stretched our like that cant be a good thing? especially if its your main fear through your pregnancy??
I thought of saying to her 'if you want me to faint and knock myself into a coma on the side of birth pool.......?... then pass me the mirror and torch and ome popcorn while your at it!' lol
So i said 'no thanks!' and and started to conentrate again! BUT you just do it, you get to that point of no return and you just take a breath and inwardly say "lets have it here gooooesssss" and push, your partner is saying "push" the midwife is saying PUSH and your thinking 'what do you THINK I'm doing? sucking it back up??" she has her hands ready to catch the baby (well in the pool anyway!) and it feels like nothing ever has! but its over in a split second and you aren't aware of your minnie or bum anymore! just looking frantically to where your baby slid to!! then B-I-N-G-O theres your amazing baby!! looking up at you!
I really recommend a water birth! I am in No WAY a hippy or anything like that (quite the opposite!) but it worked for me and I swear it helps soften your skin 'down there' and stretch easier!! and after two babies my partner tells me everything is normal down there afterwards - I mean my god we slept together after 3 weeks (admittedly I was bricking it! and he did have to jump me! as i would have put it off for months! through fear!) but, after two babies I was fine! he was happy too which is always a worry!! and then a few weeks later I was pregnant again! and my first thoughts were not "oh my god I've got to go through labour and birth again!!" it was more the embarrasment of people thinking we were dirty/naughty for making another baby so soon!!!! lol
You really WILL MAKE it! and if you're like me you'll love the empowerment it gives you AND the biggest bonus is that my husband has a greater respect for me for doing something so scary, getting through it and coming out the other side smiling! and so will all of you. funny thing is, we decided he should get the snip after this one, and his appointment came through for this September! he got all funny and has basically crapped himself about the pain! I enjoy taking the mickey and saying "try pushing a human out your chuffbox darling!" lol :roll: xxxx
[Modified by: tutandidamoon on August 17, 2010 08:45 PM]
I also thought the pushing stage was the easy bit - I don't remember that hurting at all (although it prob did) and after concentrating so hard on all the contractions it was nice to just switch off and let my body take over.
(the hardest part was when I wanted to push and the midwife told me not to!) It's like someone telling you not to shiver! So hard!
Have you been to any of your antenatal courses yet. Where I live it was half a day talking about birth and pain relief. After I went I felt really confident about the whole thing and reassured that I could do it so really did put my mind at rest. Obviously when you do go into labour you are never prepared for the pain!! I am pregnant with my second now and have to put the thought of labour to the back of my mind otherwise I would drive myself crazy. I'm pretty confident still that this birth will be better than my first so fingers crossed xx
I ended up with an emergency c-section but I experienced labour to 7cm dilated.
I wasn't scared of labour as I do have (or thought I had!!) a high pain threshold. Except if I stub my toe or something arrrghh! Lol
But it turned out to be totally different than I expected. As soon as I hit 3cm dilated the contractions came on straight away every 3ish minutes (I was induced) There was no build up and I was in complete agony. I won't lie, it was awful.
I had gas and air though and it made it manageable. After 8 hours of the intense contractions I chose an epidural as I still hadn't progressed. I would definitely recommend an epidural if you look set to have a long labour. I could have probably managed with just the gas and air but I had already been in hospital for nearly 48hours by that point and the epidural meant I could sleep.
By 10pm and already 16 hours in labour I had progressed to 7cm but it went downhill from there. I felt really sick and horrible and had cold sweats & temperature. I had epidural, canular, antibiotic drip, fetal heart monitor and they wanted to put a monitor on ds's head but I said no. I was like a human pin cushion and couldnt take any more monitoring!! After that I just slept and was woke up at 3am by a consultant saying I hadn't progressed and they were taking me to theatre.
DS was 9lb 1oz and back to back. which is why it could have gone wrong. I was induced at 9 days over - i'm dead against induction now and determined to wait until 14 days over if I have another, before accepting induction.
If I were you I'd read up as much as you can!!
There are no medals for doing it without pain relief and epidural is always there should you need one!! I found the best way to cope with the contractions at least is to relax, breathe properly with help of gas and air and whatever you do....DON'T PANIC!! In labour, panic = pain! That's my experience of it. You can do it!
Hey, I could have written your post myself but I have started a hypno birthing course and so far it has been worth every penny, it is making me feel so so much better about the whole thing. It helps you remove the fear from the labour anticipation and in doing so, work with your body instead of against it. Definately borrow your friends cd, see if you can get on a course xxx you are not alone though honey I recon there would be fewer people not scared xx
Replies
It just it what it is, its frightening, its the unknown but we all end up back in there having MORE babies! you know like if you get one tattoo? - it hurts, its a nasty pain that fades afterwards from your memory and before you know it, your thinking of your NEXT tattoo! its kind of like that! adictable!
I've tried to explain how it felt for me as honestly as I can. I also had piles from about 20 weeks onward last time!! so the pushing the baby out part really did feel like my back-end was gonna explode! i was so scared I'd poo everywhere but it doesn't your body just s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s out! (yes a little bit of poo did come out but I didn;t even notice until after I had got out the birthpool! it was hardly anything! but the midwife didn't bat an eyelid! and although it was also down on my lit of thing to worry about; on the day, I didn't give a monkeys!!!
I always call it my 'minnie' lol I hate the other words! my husband says 'minge' its just so gross, makes me laugh and cringe at the same time! I think minnies are awesome how they stretch out then go small again like a Tranformer!
nikkiandneil -
You are SO right about the pain thing. Tooth ache really is A LOT WORSE! theres no escaping that kind of pain! it renders me useless! at least after birth I can walk around and eat stuff!
I had a tooth Abscess about two weeks ago now! and when I finally got in the dentist chair and was begging him for the local anestetic jab! and making sure he gave me more than the normal does because I'm a complete wimp! I'd been up with it all night! I even said to him "I'll take labour ANYDAY" he laughed! he said he'd had large men in his chair crying with pain from toothache!!! lol
I feel so sorry for ladies who have really long labours, no sleep and loads of pain, my heart goes out to you. I've been lucky with my short-ish labours and pretty straight forward ones.
I take raspberry leaf capsules from 34 weeks to get my uterus fit and ready to help bring the baby down and also high strength 1000mg evening primrose to soften my cervix - this has worked for me both times! so I'll be doing it again! by the truck load.
Littlewolf -
You are right about the contractions during the 1st stage hurting more than when you push! as when the midwife tells you you're 10 cm (inside you start cheering "hip hip hooray give me a H, give me an I, give me P" she then says "when you feel the next contraction... start pushing" I honestly have to say that from that point I didn't feel the back pain or bump hardening anymore? it was all my bum and because I was pushing!!!! maybe the piles didn't help! as I certainly felt them throbbing away!
I didn't feel anything in the minnie department? I was waiting for the stinging/tearing sensation but it didn't happen?
But before I knew it the midwife said the heads out, and I thought 'what? - out my bum?'
Then there was what seemed like a pause in time....................... the midwive told me to wait for the next contraction and then to push the rest out!!!!!! well I did wait but nothing, so I just pushed when i felt ready!
This is where my mind started wandering (probably a bit of shock) and I managed a good suck on the gas and air! I was thinking 'I have a person hanging out of me looking at my bum!, one more push like that and its OVER!' then you kind of have a big rush of fear 'oh my god I have to push the shoulders out and oh my god I'm going to split in two halfs and need TWO PASSPORTS for the rest of my life! it the oddest feeling but it really doens't kill you!
The most strange moment for me was the midwife asking if I wanted to look in the mirror at the head hanging out ????? at that point actually seeing your minnie hole stretched our like that cant be a good thing? especially if its your main fear through your pregnancy??
I thought of saying to her 'if you want me to faint and knock myself into a coma on the side of birth pool.......?... then pass me the mirror and torch and ome popcorn while your at it!' lol
So i said 'no thanks!' and and started to conentrate again! BUT you just do it, you get to that point of no return and you just take a breath and inwardly say "lets have it here gooooesssss" and push, your partner is saying "push" the midwife is saying PUSH and your thinking 'what do you THINK I'm doing? sucking it back up??" she has her hands ready to catch the baby (well in the pool anyway!)
and it feels like nothing ever has! but its over in a split second and you aren't aware of your minnie or bum anymore! just looking frantically to where your baby slid to!! then B-I-N-G-O theres your amazing baby!! looking up at you!
I really recommend a water birth! I am in No WAY a hippy or anything like that (quite the opposite!) but it worked for me and I swear it helps soften your skin 'down there' and stretch easier!! and after two babies my partner tells me everything is normal down there afterwards - I mean my god we slept together after 3 weeks (admittedly I was bricking it! and he did have to jump me! as i would have put it off for months! through fear!) but, after two babies I was fine! he was happy too which is always a worry!! and then a few weeks later I was pregnant again! and my first thoughts were not "oh my god I've got to go through labour and birth again!!" it was more the embarrasment of people thinking we were dirty/naughty for making another baby so soon!!!! lol
You really WILL MAKE it! and if you're like me you'll love the empowerment it gives you AND the biggest bonus is that my husband has a greater respect for me for doing something so scary, getting through it and coming out the other side smiling! and so will all of you. funny thing is, we decided he should get the snip after this one, and his appointment came through for this September! he got all funny and has basically crapped himself about the pain! I enjoy taking the mickey and saying "try pushing a human out your chuffbox darling!" lol :roll: xxxx
[Modified by: tutandidamoon on August 17, 2010 08:45 PM]
it is all so true too!
i also call it a minnie or foof!! lol!!
xxx
As regards labour ... it is ok, a bitch but ok! The kidney infection I had when I was 16 was FAR worse pain than labour!
(the hardest part was when I wanted to push and the midwife told me not to!) It's like someone telling you not to shiver! So hard!
I wasn't scared of labour as I do have (or thought I had!!) a high pain threshold. Except if I stub my toe or something arrrghh! Lol
But it turned out to be totally different than I expected. As soon as I hit 3cm dilated the contractions came on straight away every 3ish minutes (I was induced) There was no build up and I was in complete agony. I won't lie, it was awful.
I had gas and air though and it made it manageable. After 8 hours of the intense contractions I chose an epidural as I still hadn't progressed. I would definitely recommend an epidural if you look set to have a long labour. I could have probably managed with just the gas and air but I had already been in hospital for nearly 48hours by that point and the epidural meant I could sleep.
By 10pm and already 16 hours in labour I had progressed to 7cm but it went downhill from there. I felt really sick and horrible and had cold sweats & temperature. I had epidural, canular, antibiotic drip, fetal heart monitor and they wanted to put a monitor on ds's head but I said no. I was like a human pin cushion and couldnt take any more monitoring!! After that I just slept and was woke up at 3am by a consultant saying I hadn't progressed and they were taking me to theatre.
DS was 9lb 1oz and back to back. which is why it could have gone wrong. I was induced at 9 days over - i'm dead against induction now and determined to wait until 14 days over if I have another, before accepting induction.
If I were you I'd read up as much as you can!!
There are no medals for doing it without pain relief and epidural is always there should you need one!! I found the best way to cope with the contractions at least is to relax, breathe properly with help of gas and air and whatever you do....DON'T PANIC!! In labour, panic = pain! That's my experience of it. You can do it!
xx