Advice please!!!!!

I need some advice from somewhere!!!! Am 28 weeks pregnant and have just discovered that my other halfs parents and sisters are planning to pace the hospital corridor outside the delivery suite!!!! I love his family to pieces and am really lucky to have such great in laws but I don;t even want my parents there ready and waiting to waltz in as soon as the baby pops out. All I want is some time alone with my hubby and new arrival, is that so much to ask?? Has any one else encountered any problems like this?? I am getting really upset about it now have tried to talk rationally to my other half but all he says is they think it's really weird and I'm turning them against me. They have been brilliant with buying things for the baby etc but when it comes to this I don't know how to approach the subject. Thankfully I do have the support in my mum. Just want to know peoples views on the subject as I fel really overwhelmed by it all. Thank you!!! xx


  • You're definitely not alone in feeling like this - I am SO glad we live a few hours' drive from either of our parents as the very last thing I want is people pacing the corridor waiting for me to produce their grandchild, and then coming in and having cuddles etc before I've even come to terms with giving birth!

    I think your hubby ought to be standing up for what you want and not adding to your worries by refusing to acknowledge your very reasonable request. It will have been YOU pushing a person out, not him - I think you have every right to pull rank!

  • I luckily didn't have this problem as we live abroad lol!

    I would say stick to your guns though, you will have just been through a lot and it is only natural to want some time together with your new family just taking it all in.
    Maybe try a different approach with your hubby and say doesn't he want some time bonding with the baby before the 'pass the parcel' starts? His parents will have plenty of time to see the baby, but you don't want them outside the delivery ward hearing every moan and groan you make! It is a special time for you and hubby and you are entitled to take that time for yourselves.

    Why not say you want an hour alone with the baby and hubby before any visitors arrive? I think that is more than reasonable.

    I'm not sure what it is like in the UK but out here (I live in Norway) the midwives are very protective of new mums and are strict about visiting times. And if you don't want visitors they won't let them in!

    Good luck, not the sort of thing you want to be stressing about! x
  • hiya,
    a lot of hospitals won't actually let them into the delivery suite because there just isn't room and its also a huge security risk! the only people they let in are actual birth partners. give them a leaflet with the visiting times on and that way you should get at least a few hours to get yourself and baby sorted before you face the hordes! a lot of the hospitals also restrict the amout of visitors you can have on the ward so it may be that they'll only be able to stay for half an hour. its best to find out now so that you dont have to arrange vistiing times whilst you've just given birth! good luck!
  • Hi

    I dont want either set of parents there, i feel its a personal experience between me and hubby and want to enjoy our baby 1st before any1 else meets her. I am hoping to be out hospital quickly and would like to be home before any of our family come to see us.
    Altho might be sooo excited to show our princess off, that ill be asking hubby to get them all in asap! But at the moment i feel we need to be on our at first.

    Sharon x

  • My mum (whom I'm really shocked at and still trying to figure out my response too!!!) thinks this would be a good compromise to my MIL problem that I posted about earlier in the week.

    I want a shower/wash, fresh clothes, tea and toast, cuddles with baby and oh and possibly a snooze before I see anyone, is that really too much to ask?!
  • No its not too much to ask MrsT, thats how im feeling too.

    Nothing happening yet hun?

    Sharon x

  • No its not too much to ask MrsT, thats how im feeling too.

    Nothing happening yet hun?

    Sharon xx

    Nope :cry: Booked to see a reflexologist on Tues and sweep Weds. Can't see me just starting on my own, going to need some form of help. Thanks xxx
  • i had this problem with my sil, she said she wanted to know the minute i went into labour and if she had to she'd walk to the hospital no matter what time of day it was! i was in tears a few times because i wanted her to back off and i kept saying i didnt want anyone to know anything until i'd had the baby, as it turned out i was induced which ended in a c-section so nobody was allowed in anyway :lol:

    all i can suggest hun is just explain how u feel and just make sure ur other half doesn't tell anyone when you're in labour!! let people know after the event and next time tell them ur due 2 weeks after u actually are so they're not expecting u to go into labour and won't be frequently checking up on u and u can have ur baby in secret image thats what im doing :lol:

  • The only person i wanted with me was my husband. Luckily our parents were fine with this. We agreed we would let them know when we were going to hospital and update them as and when we could.

    Check the rules with your hospital before you say anything to them. Ours will only allow 2 people to be with you during the birth (have to be same 2 people the whole time). Partners can be with you on the ward from 9am-8pm. Visitors are allowed 2pm-4pm and 6pm-8pm. I had my baby at 6.30am and was not allowed any family to visit until 2pm. I was a bit miffed about this as i was dying for my mum to come and see the baby. However it worked out well as i got a shower, changed, something to eat and a sleep so i felt much better when visitors did come.

    If they are the hospital rules then they cant blame you!
  • thank you to everyone!!!!! have talked to my midwife aswell as my mum and the in laws are just goin to have to understand, i am hoping to have her outsid of visiting times!!! lol
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