did I do the right thing?

My mum is the best in the world, she is so supportive and would do anything for us, I love her to bits so I dont want this to come across wrong, I just want to know if you think I have done the right thing!!

My mum is quite a vocal person and very quick to complain, sometimes, in my opinion going a little too far.
Anyway so the story is, last night she told me that when im in labour she needs to be close by, she understands we wont want her in the room but she wants to be in the hospital. I said no, because it could be hours and if things got complicated the last thing I would need is her panicing and getting cross with the midwives. At this my dad said " thats a very valid point" so she was a little deflated but said ok. She just asked that I promise to let her know when im going in and I said I would as long as she promises to stay at home.

Am I being mean or is this reasonable? She really is so good to us and I wouldnt hurt her for the world but I really think it should be just me and hubby, plus we are going to want a little time to ourselves with the baby before visitors start coming in.

I feel a bit bad but very sure I dont want her in the hospital.

All opinions welcome
Lisa xxx


  • I know what you mean as whilst my Mum loves me she drives me crazy at times as she panics and gets nervous and can sometimes make me more edgy than I need to be.
    On the other hand you need to think that you will always be your Mums little girl no matter how old you are but she does need to accept your grown up sometime no matter how hard it is.
    Labour is stressful enough so do whatever you feel comfortable, I for one will not be allowing my mother to the hospital either, but try to involve your mother some other way I dont know your mum but she probably only wants to be there coz she loves you, not because she wants to interfere
    Georgie 14+6
  • Hi Lisa,
    Watever choice you make surely is the right one in my opinion. All the way through my pregnancy,i said to my mum that i just wanted it to be me and my hubby whilst i was in labour and also at the birth. Its your own desicion hun,so dont feel bad.

    I also told my mum and mil that we would ring them when the labour started,which we did,(even tho it was 4am,lol).

    I dont want to put you off,but i ended up ringing my mum at work,as in the end i needed her,(she always said she would be there if i needed her)and hubby wasnt coping very well,so i wanted her to be there to support us both.

    She was there through my labour as was hubby,but i ended up having a emergency c-section,so they wernt there for the birth,as they had to put me out!

    Good Luck,


  • If thats what you want hunny then absolutely you did the right thing. This is your baby, your labour, and therefore your decision. You have to do whatever you are going to feel happier with, and if that means knowing your Mum is not at the hospital getting stressed out, then thats what needs to happen. Your mum might be a little disappointed, but ultimately i'm sure she understands. xxxxx
  • thanks for the reassurance ladies, I am very keen to involve her as much as possible and have invited her to come to the next scan which she was thrilled about. Im very conscious of her wanting to do as much as she can especially as she felt totally pushed out when my brothers wife had their baby (obviously my sil was going to turn to her own mother its only natural) But I am still convinced she should be at home for the labour part. Although like you Carrie, if I need her she would be there in a flash and she is the person I would call first if I needed extra support on the day.

    Lisa xxx
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